On Suffering

[PCR99]

Hello,
I am new to these boards and was glad to find a group of Catholics.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 4.5 years. We are faithful Catholics and have never participated in any artificial reporductive techniques. We were led to some amazing doctors and were able to conceive twice, but have had 2 miscarraiges in the last 5 months. These losses have been utterly devestating to us. It’s like we are constantly given hope through the doctors we find and through the recent conceptions, but then suddenly our hopes are yanked away.

We do not understand why God has given us this great desire to have a child, only to be devestated with infertility for 4 years and now these losses. We wish we were drawn to adoption, but it never feels right to us - we are not being drawn in this direction even after detailed investigation.

I feel that my heart’s desire is to birth a healthy child, but this is not happening. What do I do with this? I am not sure how we would handle a third loss. What are we suppossed to be learning from this? Can anyone recommend any books on suffering. We just do not understand why we must suffer with this for so long and why must we lose 2 babies?

Thanks,
PCR99

 

[Didi]

I am so sorry for your suffering. My husband and I also went through years of infertility and miscarriages. There are already several threads open on this topic. You can find them by choosing “Search” at the top of the page and typing in “infertility” and also “suffering.”

Here’s a link to one of them on infertility:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=55683&highlight=infertility

Here’s one on redemptive suffering:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=568&highlight=redemptive+suffering

God bless you!

 

[RosaLydia]

Hello,

I am so sorry for the loss of your babies. I just had a miscarriage also and it has been the most painful experience of my life. Apart from several books on miscarriage, I started reading “the problem of pain” by C.S. Lewis, and I also read “A grief observed” by the same author.

A grief observed are his journal notes on the death of his wife. It is very short and a quick read. Although the loss is different, I saw that I was not alone in all the questions and thoughts I have about God as to why he allows these things to happen. At one point he asks God if this is a cruel joke? I was very suprised because that was one of the first things that came to my mind after my micarriage. He also talks about feeling anger and isolation.

In the problem of pain he goes to explain how a good and loving God can allow suffering and pain. So far its a good book but I am just getting started.

Hope this helps,

Rosa Lydia