On the eve of Ash Wednesday..please help

[Shae]

I write this on the eve of Ash Wednesday and I know it will be day of fasting and abstinence. Just need a little advice on the extremes I should go.

Cutting caffeine for the day is really a big order for me. So I’m thinking water and some apples and tomatoes may be sufficient and not going on the computer and maybe no music.

I’ve not put a lot of thought to it until now.

Less food is no big deal for me. I’m not a over eater at any time and I am very health conscious apart from the many cups of tea I am seriously addicted to.

Is water, tomatoes and apples too little for a busy wife and mother. Can’t afford no energy, but still wish to feel the withdrawl of such things.

Many thanks in advance.
shae.

 

[Eileen_T]

Tomorrow I will have salad with maybe an egg & potatoes for my one meal.

Apart from that I will probably just have bread and maybe cheese.

I am planning on abstaining from meat throughout Lent except for Sundays as I really, really enjoy my meat.

As for giving up the computer and music, I am a web developer so that is out. I thought I would make a committment to deepen my spiritual life with prayer and reading. (Maybe I should give up Sudoku)

Another discipline would be to undertake to perform an act of charity every day where possible. Do something nice for at least one other person and maybe take time to visit a lonely person in the parish once a week ( your PP can give you some ideas).

 

[chevalier]

Maybe cut some entertainment? I’m not sure I’ll try without the computer, but I have an exam to do at 5 pm and something to read for it still, so on the one hand it might come naturally, on the other hand it won’t really be the great idea of fasting, either. I have to think of it. Thanks for reminding me. Perhaps a good thing will be studying dutifully for once and not procrastinating.

 

[LSK]

My plan is to have one normal meal and two snacks on either side. Our Pastor recommended this and I thought perhaps I would keep the snacks to protein base so as to help me keep my energy level up at work.

 

[puzzleannie]

I write this on the eve of Ash Wednesday and I know it will be day of fasting and abstinence. Just need a little advice on the extremes I should go.

Cutting caffeine for the day is really a big order for me. So I’m thinking water and some apples and tomatoes may be sufficient and not going on the computer and maybe no music.
shae.

what you describe is certainly not extreme (well, for some of us, giving up caffeine would be xtreem)
as for extremes, without spiritual direction we should not go beyond the general guidelines of the Church on Fast and abstinence, which have been repeated several times here already. In other words, follow the traditional disciplines, but don’t go on bread and water without permssion from your spiritual director (and your doctor).

 

[Moneo]

A piece of advice here. REDUCE your daily caffeine intake during Lent if you wish, but if you are a genuine caffeine addict like me DO NOT cold turkey!

When I was at university I decided to give up caffeine enitrely one Lent. So I did. By the afternoon of second day of Lent I was lying on the sofa in my student flat in agony. My head was splitting, I was nauseous and no amount of aspirin or ibuprofen would put a dent in the pain.

But the best part was that I could not connect the dots! I had no idea what was wrong with me till my flatmate, who was a physics major and not a practising Catholic, walked in, looked at me and asked what was wrong. When I told him he simply stared at me in thought for a moment, and then asked “When was the last time you had a cup of coffee?”

“Almost two days ago. I’ve given it up for Lent.”

“You’re an idiot,” he said as he headed for the bedroom. “Go have a cup of coffee.”

About 45 minutes later, when the wonder drug COFFEE had worked its magic and I could think again he said, “That’s what you get for being a philosophy major. It’s a drug, dummy. Take it away and your body undergoes withdrawal.”

Learned my lesson, I did …

 

[Wendy-Kay]

This is a situation where having a spiritual director helps. They would know you, your needs, your limitations, and offer some objective helpful insight.
Before I had one, I would always end up getting sick, passing out, and just being plain stupid during Lent. Not that you are in that boat. My first year with my SD, he suggested that my offering would be to give up nothing (besides that perscribed by Holy Mother Church). That was a sacrifice for someone as militant as I
On the other hand, the one doesn’t want to go to lax where your spirit doesn’t get a good whippin’ into shape. I think caffeine is a good choice, but don’t set yourself up to fail.

 

[Shae]

This is a situation where having a spiritual director helps. They would know you, your needs, your limitations, and offer some objective helpful insight.
Before I had one, I would always end up getting sick, passing out, and just being plain stupid during Lent. Not that you are in that boat. My first year with my SD, he suggested that my offering would be to give up nothing (besides that perscribed by Holy Mother Church). That was a sacrifice for someone as militant as I
On the other hand, the one doesn’t want to go to lax where your spirit doesn’t get a good whippin’ into shape. I think caffeine is a good choice, but don’t set yourself up to fail.

Is everybody in the church familiar with the word; spriitual director. I’ve only heard it on here. How does a person go about finding a spiritual director, again thankyou in advance.

shae

 

[Wendy-Kay]

I went to our parish priest, who I knew to be an orthodox man who emphasized that his flock must not settle for relative good and strive for sainthood. (He calls saints “ordinary Christians”) Therefore, him being not one to sugarcoat and a no-nonsense man, I went up to him and asked him for spiritual direction. Just like that. He got out his date book and penciled me in. The rest is history.
I added the type of person he was because when you ask a priest for direction, you should make sure that you don’t go to someone that makes people feel good by justifying their rationalizations. I need someone straight forward and not concerned with my ego. You may need some different attributes. And, naturally, the forums here act as a great balance in between meetings, which, depending on the needs of the person, are usually once a month for an hour.
Just ask your priest if he knows of a good spiritual director for you.

Pax

 

[Moneo]

Wendy-Kay is giving you some very good advice regarding how to go about finding a spiritual director, imo. I’ll just throw in a few extra bits of information to encourage you as well.

Not every priest is qualified to be a spiritual director, though it can be argued that they should be by virtue of their ordination and their vocation to be the spiritual guides and fathers of their parishioners. Therefore, in this as in every other area of our Christian life, discernment is required. And for that I would urge you to pray to the Holy Spirit that He may help you find the best spiritual director for you.

Nor does one’s spiritual director have to be a priest, though that is how it usually works out for most of us. For example, I have a friend who receives spiritual direction from the Mother Superior of the cloistered Carmelite convent in Ávila where St. Teresa of Ávila lived and began her profound conversion. How cool is THAT?!

So if you know a nun or religious sister that might fit the bill, there is in principle no obstacle to her being your spiritual director. The important thing is that it be someone with wisdom, experience and a profound life of prayer for whom the call to holiness is primary.

In general, however, I’d caution against a layperson as a spiritual director. Not because there aren’t good and holy lay people out there, but because it is generally not one of the charisms of the lay vocation.

A religious sister or nun may in fact be more comfortable for you as a woman then. This is something you’ll have to decide in prayer and discernment.

And remember that if you begin with a director and don’t feel comofrtable in the end, you are always perfectly free to seek out another one. It’s not a marriage, and sometimes it takes time to find the right match. But, as Wendy-Kay suggests, you don’t want someone who’s just going to stroke your ego or tell you what you want hear either, so be careful about hopping from one director to another too easily.

One final point: for many, having a priest as your spiritual director is handy because he can also then double as your regular confessor. But it doesn’t have to be this way (and obviously if you choose a nun as a spiritual director, it can’t be); your spiritual director and your confessor need not necessarily be the same person. Again, it’s handy if he is because then he understands better you and has the “full picture” when you are confessing, but many people prefer that their spiritual director and their confessor be two different individuals.

Whatever you decide int he end, it is very important, imho, to have a regular confessor. This, as well as spiritual direction, helps tremendously to keep you on track in your spiritual growth.

Hope this helps in some small way! God Bless!