kate(name removed by moderator):
Ive been on the fence for a long time. I wont fully commit to become either Protestant or Catholic. Has anyone else struggled with this? Id like to hear from catholics & protestants.
Thanks!
Struggle? Constantly! Never ceasing, relentless, painful, faith-crushing STRUGGLE.
However not so much as to whether Protestants or Catholics posses the truth. Between the two, to me, Catholicism simply makes more sense and puts the pieces together with more conviction.
My struggle is more one of; God, or am I deceiving myself. If He is there why does He not show Himself to me? Why the mystery? Why leave me questioning? What is His purpose in not relieveing my doubt? Why are all the questions we cannot answer shoved aside by our saying “it’s a mystery”? Why 1 billion Muslims, 1 billion Protestants and 1 billion Catholics, all with brilliant scholars who could convince thier flock? Why are we correct and all the others wrong? Why would He allow 2 billion people to have it all worng (assuming of course one of us have it right)? Why the confusion? Why does Mary cry (assuming what is occuring in Sacramento is genuine) and leave us guessing? Why was John 6 written in a manner that can be intellectually interpreted more then one way, and is? Why do I take this so seriously when I was at a funeral mass today and most of the Catholics there ,who haven’t gone to Mass in months received the Eucharist? Why will I never know if God really exists until I die? And, of course, if He does not I will never know. Why do I care? Do I try to believe for fear of Hell? Is that a copout? Am I a coward? How do I know if I really love God? How can anyone honestly claim to love what they need faith to believe? Am I only a hypocrate who claims to believe or do I believe? What is belief? How is it measured?
I live so much on the fence the pickets are penetrating my skin.
Sorry I got carried away, bad day. Yet I fear I will carry this agony on till I die. Then what?