One day, I’m going to die

[Durendin]

One day, I’m going to die.

Most people don’t really think about it too much. Obviously here, we do give a certain amount of thought to what happens after rolleyes: ) but I’m on about the day itself.

I read recently that in the US, half of your health insurance will be spent on your last six months or so of your life and this got me thinking about what this means past mere money, but in human terms.

I can appreciate the notion that life is sacred, but is it not also sacred to let go “when called?” If I’m lucky, death will claim me without a fuss but the idea of a prolonged final year of over-medication and machinery doesn’t seem to add anything to any measure of my dignity or spirituality. It almost strikes me as being ungrateful.

Any thoughts to share?

 

[JimG]

I agree no one is obligated to use extraordinary means to prolong life.

But medical costs seem to mount up even when there is no extraordinary care requested.

I know of an example where a person was taken to the emergency room with their bodily systems already shutting down. But laypersons and relatives don’t normally get to make the call in those cases. MRI’s and scans and machines are hooked up anyway while the medical team tries to figure it out. This person was dead within a few hours. Later, I got a look at the bill–something like $15,000 for a short visit to the ER to die. It would have been just as useful to not even call the ambulance, but who wants to make that call?

 

[Winters]

Would that cost be half of the money spent on your insurance or half of your medical expenses?

 

[system]

Interesting thread.

During the final year or two of John Paul II’s life, I thought about death and suffering and the value of life as I watched him decline and die. (not pass away; or* cross over*, or any of that jargon we use, just die).

I’m thinking alot about it again as I watch my dad. Although not on “death’s door” as they say, he has suffered for the last few years with many health problems. He is one of those totally healthy for 75 years, and then have a string of serious health problems in almost every system in the body. There were one or two times I wished it was over and that he was in a better place, but then, I force myself to remember that it’s God’s plan and not mine. There are moments I swear he has hung only only in hope that he could see one of my siblings straighten out!

I won’t describe my dad’s story, because it’s graphic, but I will say that he has really suffered but remained in good spirits most of the time. I’ve shared his story with some others, and then they tell others, and then it gets back to me that my dad is insipring a bunch of people. In most cases, it’s people who thought they had real problems until they heard his story.

Because I’ve been praying alot more than usual, I rarely get those “curse at God for human suffering” days. I’ve had a couple, but not many.

And yes, it makes me think of my own death. I have played “let’s make a deal” with God, a few times with my death…like asking God to at least let me raise my kids before I die. But none of us knows the day or the hour, right?

But there are those 4 things they used to teach Catholics (before I got to school!)to meditate on: Death, Judgement, Heaven, Hell. I’m less afraid then I used to be to actually meditate on those 4.

Sorry for the ramblings…I hope this is the direction your thread was heading?

 

[Durendin]

Sorry for the ramblings…I hope this is the direction your thread was heading?

Yeah, kind of. I’ve certainly got similar thoughts to the ones you’ve expressed, especially about making deals and family.

I was searching for a metaphor to describe what I’m on about, and the best I could come up with was a meal. You either accept that your starter is over and move on to your main course or you keep licking your plate to the annoyance of the waiter.

Put another way, this thread is in the “Culture of death” part of the forums. It makes me wonder what’s worse, a culture of death or a culture of fear of death, for that is certainly my perception. I would say that a Christian should have no fear of it at all, and certainly not be clinging on past the point he should have moved on. If the Lord decides the hour of our birth and the hour of our death, this makes about as much sense to me as your parents delaying your birth for no other reason but to declare control over it.

Just a thought, but if I were to spend the last year of my life hooked up to machines to squeeze another few minutes out of it, I would feel a great sense of embarassment to be told that I was late on the other side.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

It seems to me that the Culture of Death is the Culture that fears Death. They favor it for the *lesser breeds without the law *and try to ignore it for themselves.

 

[OldAgeGuru]

There are a lot of things you can do. Sign DNR, DNI and DNH forms. Express your wishes to family. Assign a health care proxy, a durable power of attorney, Make a will. Sign a legal document with how you wish to die ( no life support, in your home etc)

Regardless of where you stood on the Terri Schiavo case, it taught everyone the basic need for planning your wants in extreme circumstances whether you are 22 or 82.

Ask your parents and spouse and siblings what they want, and tell then what you want. Have a sense of humor about it, because it is a really depressing subject.

My mom has 2 artificial hips and 2 artifical shoulders. We joke that we are selling her for scrap!

 

[Damascus]

Dont forget to have an attorney rob you blind before you loose your eyesight to have your financial affairs put in order so your family will be clear on those issues.
BTW Costco sells caskets now. Supposedly its a fantastic bargain.

 

[mark_a]

I can appreciate the notion that life is sacred, but is it not also sacred to let go “when called?” If I’m lucky, death will claim me without a fuss but the idea of a prolonged final year of over-medication and machinery doesn’t seem to add anything to any measure of my dignity or spirituality. It almost strikes me as being ungrateful.

Any thoughts to share?

I agree (for now, anyway). I have come to the conclusion that if I have lead a full life, I are very fortunate to get my 6-12 months notice from the Dr. My family has time to prepare, and I can be made mercifully comfortable close to the end.

Dragging it out in the end seems like a waste, because I will be better off in two of the three places I’m destined for.

 

[JimG]

Certainly there is no need to insist on futile measures, but I rather fear that the opposite trend will come to prevail: Hospitals and medical teams and committees will increasingly come to make the decision as to whether or not your continued living is worth the cost, no matter what you have or have not put in writing. The patient will not get a vote.

Coerced death for those who have explicity expressed a desire to stay alive is part of the increasing number of “futile care” policies in hospitals in Philadelphia, Houston, Des Moines, and other cities–including some Catholic hospitals. . . . (As an inveterate insister on life, I have underlined in my advance directive that “everything” should indeed be done to keep me alive. I have since added that I should not be taken to any hospital in Houston. . .that has “futile care” policies.)
Source: Nat Hentoff writing in Free Inquiry (Sept 2006) and reprinted in Human Life Review.

 

[Ma.Eugenia]

I read a quote a long time ago that said, “No one has their resume pasted on their tombstone.”

Every now and then, I think about that saying because it helps to remind me that success and material wealth is not the “be all and end all” in this life.

One day, I’m going to die. Yep, I’ve thought about that too.

Actually, I dreamt about it before.

It just happened one night without warning. I dreamt I was walking a long, long road, then I was walking past rows of tombs. The place became dim, yet I continued on.

Suddenly I got to a place with a newly dugged up hole–the type you put coffins in–and somehow, I knew that that hole was meant for me and I was very scared.

I begged God that I wasn’t ready–that if He could just give me a chance because I knew that if I died right then, my eternity would have been sealed forever—and I truly wasn’t prepared.

Then I woke up.

I thank God for that dream because it will always remind me that this life is finite. What good I can do now, I should do, as the oppurtunity may not pass me again.

Yes, I want to be prepared with the financial aspect of having enough medical insurance to tide me over, just in case I need it.I think that this is a wise thing to do, especially with the cost of getting sick, nowadays, getting to be unbelievably expensive.

But over and above all that, I pray for the grace to be spiritually
prepared to meet my God when my time comes, like the story in the Bible of the wise maidens who made sure they had enough oil when the bridegroom arrived.