Only Child Seeking Priesthood

[Epistemes]

I can’t believe I haven’t thought to ask this question here before! This question has been bothering me for months, and I’ve been waiting for the right person to ask…but why not here?

You see, I’m discerning a vocation to the priesthood or to religious life. One of the things which sort of holds me back is the love I have for my parents. I’m an only child, other than my older stepbrothers and one stepsister (who have little to do with my family, honestly), and feel a great deal of guilt when I consider that I would be entering the religious life, earning no income, with no way of caring for my parents when they get older.

I almost imagine any holy Order denying me access since there is no one to care for my parents when they get older.

The thing which makes this hard is that I don’t feel a true calling anywhere else, and so my options seem quite limited.

Could someone please tell me what to do? I’ve prayed about this multiple times, but feel no real consolation.

 

[bilop]

I think if you feel the calling, you have to follow it. Otherwise how will you ever be happy if the priesthood is God’s will for you?

Also, you should know that the diocesen (“secular”) priesthood does not require a vow of poverty. You can inherit assets from your parents, manage their affairs, etc. Also, no one will ever be able to deny you access to them, and, if you are a priest in their diocese, or nearby, you will never be moved away from them.

God Bless you in your discernment.

 

[ltbpoe43]

May God’s plan for you reveal itself soon.

Talk to you parents about it.

Talk to your diocesan vocations director.

It seems like you need additional information to make a good informed decision. Good luck.

 

[chicago]

I know priests who have cared for their parents, even as “only children”. Further, the people who you minister to might be willing to help you help your parents.

 

[jmcrae]

We have an OMI priest in our Diocese who goes home every summer to care for his elderly parents. It can be done.

 

[Windmill]

How old are your parents? Have they been saving for retirement? Have you talked to them about your concerns?

 

[RevDrNorth]

I can’t believe I haven’t thought to ask this question here before! This question has been bothering me for months, and I’ve been waiting for the right person to ask…but why not here?

You see, I’m discerning a vocation to the priesthood or to religious life. One of the things which sort of holds me back is the love I have for my parents. I’m an only child, other than my older stepbrothers and one stepsister (who have little to do with my family, honestly), and feel a great deal of guilt when I consider that I would be entering the religious life, earning no income, with no way of caring for my parents when they get older.

I almost imagine any holy Order denying me access since there is no one to care for my parents when they get older.

The thing which makes this hard is that I don’t feel a true calling anywhere else, and so my options seem quite limited.

Could someone please tell me what to do? I’ve prayed about this multiple times, but feel no real consolation.

If God is calling you to the Priesthood and you do not follow that call you will always feel a hole in your life. I would not worry about the only child issue. You could be sterile for all you know or your wife infertile and never produce offsping. I have known people who did produce offspring only to have the child die of disease or an accident. Your parents could die (God forbid) or you and on and on. There are just too many variables and you CANNOT plan for all of them or control all of them.

If you feel God is calling you then test that call and be faithful to trying to discern it. It may be painful for your parents (may not) but that should not stop you from living your life for Christ in the way in which he has called you. It is a good sign that you see sensitve and compassionate about the issue.

Rev North

 

[jmcrae]

Imagine how Little Therese’s parents must have felt when all of their children (seven?) entered the Religious life.

I would just say, don’t worry about it - if God is calling you to the priesthood, then God will provide for your parents in some other way. He will not forget about them.

 

[LilyM]

I know priests who have cared for their parents, even as “only children”. Further, the people who you minister to might be willing to help you help your parents.

Precisely - my pastor growing up actually wasn’t an only child, but had an elderly father, he was in the best position to care for his father so the father lived with him.

 

[nkmeck]

I can’t believe I haven’t thought to ask this question here before! This question has been bothering me for months, and I’ve been waiting for the right person to ask…but why not here?

You see, I’m discerning a vocation to the priesthood or to religious life. One of the things which sort of holds me back is the love I have for my parents. I’m an only child, other than my older stepbrothers and one stepsister (who have little to do with my family, honestly), and feel a great deal of guilt when I consider that I would be entering the religious life, earning no income, with no way of caring for my parents when they get older.

I almost imagine any holy Order denying me access since there is no one to care for my parents when they get older.

The thing which makes this hard is that I don’t feel a true calling anywhere else, and so my options seem quite limited.

Could someone please tell me what to do? I’ve prayed about this multiple times, but feel no real consolation.

Look into getting Long Term Care (LTC) insurance for them! Or drive to Pittsburgh and buy it from me!

 

[Epistemes]

Thanks for the responses, so far.

I don’t know why, but when I began thinking about the priesthood I almost instantaneously ruled out the diocesan priesthood. I can’t remember fully why right now, but it’s something to re-consider. Life in an Order, though, has always appealled to me.

I have contacted some Franciscan vocation directors. I’ve got a meeting with one this coming Sunday. Maybe I’ll get the chance to mention this concern to him and see what he says.

 

[under_the_dome]

I was struggling greatly with considerations of my parents’ needs regarding my own vocation about a year ago, so I know where you’re coming from.

If you are worried about caring for your parents as they age, then I would agree with whoever said to consider your diocese (or a neighboring one) more closely. Not only will it ensure that you can remain geographically near them, but it will allow you to devote considerable attention to them as well, if necessary. You will have a stream of income (however small) to assist them with, you can help manage their affairs, you would not need dispensations from your superior to go and see them, and I have even heard of diocesan priests bringing elderly parents to live in their rectory.

In my own case, the issue was more that of grandchildren… my parents are divorced, and my father is not Catholic. My mother is, and has been remarried in the Church, and so has another son beside me. To my father, however, I am an only child. I used to be deeply troubled by the idea that he would not understand my calling to the priesthood and (though he would never oppose me) that I might be “hurting” him by depriving him of grandchildren. On top of that, his side of the family is quite small, and if I do not have children, then my last name will in all likelihood die with me. It was quite a burden, but one that I have overcome with prayer and spiritual direction. It would still pain me, but I believe now that my father would ultimately be content in my decision. And, as another poster mentioned, WE CANNOT KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS, so there is no sense in doing (or not doing) anything with regard to a vocation based on its potential impact on our family dynamic.

Good luck in your discernment. May God lead you to the path that he, in his wisdom, has laid down for you.

 

[catherine_m]

Everyone needs to answer Gods call no matter what He calls us to do. He knows you are an only child and He is not going to abandon your parents. Have trust and faith in Him that when you answer His call He will look after you and your loved ones and take care of all your needs. He will reward you and your family with an abundance of graces for answering His call to Holy Priesthood. If He has called you and you do have a vocation to be a priest, then it is part of His plan for you and His overall plan for the world. Have trust in Him.:yup:

 

[whatevergirl]

As a parent…I sometimes think…the greatest gift my children could give me is to enter religious life. But, it is not about me…it’s about following God. Follow God…wherever He leads, and He will take care of the details of life. God bless you!

 

[aaronjmagnan]

Nervous about your calling eh?

That’s why they call it discernment…because you discern what exactly you are being called to do.

“Take captive your thoughts” as Paul says, and grab a hold on your imagination.

Go investigate what the real case is regarding your parents in the different orders and types of religious life before you make up a bunch of scenarios, only to be confused by most of them!

What a blessing to be called to serve the Lord’s Supper.

God bless you,
Aaron Magnan

 

[church_child]

I can’t believe I haven’t thought to ask this question here before! This question has been bothering me for months, and I’ve been waiting for the right person to ask…but why not here?

You see, I’m discerning a vocation to the priesthood or to religious life. One of the things which sort of holds me back is the love I have for my parents. I’m an only child, other than my older stepbrothers and one stepsister (who have little to do with my family, honestly), and feel a great deal of guilt when I consider that I would be entering the religious life, earning no income, with no way of caring for my parents when they get older.

I almost imagine any holy Order denying me access since there is no one to care for my parents when they get older.

The thing which makes this hard is that I don’t feel a true calling anywhere else, and so my options seem quite limited.

Could someone please tell me what to do? I’ve prayed about this multiple times, but feel no real consolation.

Hey! How are you? I’m a college seminarian right now for the Diocese of Providence, and I’m an only child. Be at peace! Keep discerning and trying to follow God’s plan in your life, and He will take care of you and your parents. In all honesty, the fact that I’m an only child was more of an issue for my parents than it is for me.They wanted grandchildren, of course. It was my vocations director that actually explained to them the blessings of having a son as a priest, and the blessings that it will bring to the family and the world.

It might seem a little terrifying now, (the idea of being a Catholic priest and an only child) but think about what a great and awesome gift both you and your parents are giving to God. You are giving up a family to know Him better, and they are giving up grandchildren to support you and grow in God through you. Sounds like a great deal to me!

I’ll be praying for you. Keep it holy!

Tim

 

[iviking]

Hi, I am an only child too. I must say that Jesus have taken care of things. Just pray to him and I am sure he will help you.