Opening Up About Miscarriage

[TotusTuusForever]

I have had several miscarriages in the past few years that my husband and I have been married. At first, I kept it secret, but then family and friends were acting like my husband and I must be trying to avoid pregnancy since were have no children yet. So, we started being slightly more open about it. Sadly, the response was very unsupportive. I especially felt foolish opening up to pro-abortion relatives since they only denied my baby’s humanity. Does anyone else feel guarded about telling “pro-choice” family about your miscarriages? And when I say relatives, I mean parents, aunts, etc. Thanks in advance and God bless!

 

[F_Marturana]

In my experience, people were not very supportive when I had miscarriages in the past. I was very sad after a miscarriage, and someone who was Catholic told me I wasn’t accepting of God’s will. I thought it was normal to grieve for the loss of a child.

I felt the loneliest after those losses. I know I had babies. But they were gone and no one would understand how sad it was.

I’m sorry for your losses. It’s hard.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Reach out to the Pro Life office at your Diocese. Recognizing the loss of miscarriage and pre-term loss are part of the ministry of the Church. Our Diocese has an annual Mass to honor these lives. Our parish has an annual Mass as well.

You can have masses offered for your children.

Opening up, sharing, is important.

If someone does not recognize your children, pray that their hearts may be changed.

 

[TotusTuusForever]

Oh man. That really stinks. I understand how you feel. It is natural to grieve because your baby was a human who you loved for however long you knew they were growing inside of you.

In my experience, it has been hard to even see “pro-choicers” talk about “women’s health issues” after my miscarriages because they really have no clue. At the end of the day, they only seem to care when people don’t want their babies. Whenever, I talked about my miscarriage to “pro-choicers” they acted like my baby never existed. I guess that is gaslighting when you really think about it. Our babies did exist, they were human, and they deserved life by virtue of their humanity and not based on any other factor.

 

[Lou2U]

I’m so sorry about your miscarriages, and all the judgement of your family. Truly, I know many pro-choice people and not one would deny your babies their humanity. I can’t comphrend your family’s cruelty in doing that.

Sending hugs and thoughts your way.

 

[TotusTuusForever]

Thank you. I’m seen as the pro-life nut of the family. So there isn’t much I can do besides pray for them.

Edit: I also think one of the hardest moments was seeing a relative that regularly campaigns for Planned Parenthood get pregnant at the same time as me, but she had a healthy pregnancy and I lost mine.

 

[jlc2k2]

I’m so sorry for your losses. We also had a series of miscarriages a few years ago. Unfortunately, even pro life family and friends didn’t really provide much support. By our most recent loss, we stopped telling people that we miscarried except for the very select few who we knew would be supportive. This included parents, siblings, etc. It was what we needed to do for ourselves at the time.

 

[QwertyGirl]

I would suggest only sharing with those who you know will be supportive. By now, you know who that is.

I am really sorry that happened to you. I know plenty of pro-choice people who would never behave like that. There is no excuse for it.

 

[F_Marturana]

Sometimes you can’t help it.

I kept my last pregnancy hidden from everyone until I was showing. I had had a miscarriage earlier that year and shared the pregnancy news too early.