Hi Malia;
I used to struggle with this, too,but through reading
Love & Responsibility by Pope JP2, and talking to a few priests–it suddenly became crystal clear for me…and so easy to follow.
Really, submission…what it means-- is to ask yourself…
is what I’m about to say, or do in the best interest of my marriage and family? If the answer is no, and you wish to forge along anyways, then that is not submitting. Submission in marriage really
just means to submit one’s will for the benefit of the marriage. To unite your will to your husband’s…and visa versa. Now, in healthy marriages, this is somewhat easier to do…but in dysfunctional marriages, I wouldn’t recommend a woman submitting for example, to a man who hits her, etc…because his will is not for the good of her or their family.
But, this is not the case in your marriage–and I don’t know where you are personally needing help, but if you can water it all down to just looking at it as that one simple question…is what I’m about to do or say for the good of my marriage?
Am I honoring my husband in what I’m about to do or say? (let’s say, it’s about finances–this was always an area of struggle between my husband and me, he being the saver, me the spender) I had a myriad of justifications to coincide with my spending habits. Until this all became clear to me, I was obviously not doing what was in the best interest of my marriage. I was doing what made me feel happy, only. So, now I ask myself – would this be good for your marriage? Is this honoring your husband?
Submitting is all about letting go, and letting God. Letting go, and letting your will align itself with your husband so that you both can be better for it.
Wherever you are having trouble–just ask yourself those questions, and you will start submitting your will for the good of your marriage and family. (You sound like a great wife, though, Malia…just sayin’)
