Opportunity or Not

[DiZent]

A little background. My husband & I are both cradle Catholics. I had left the church in my teens & 20s, but reverted before we were married. When we dated, he talked about being raised in a Catholic family and it seemed to be important to him. We went to Engaged Encounter for marriage prep & were married at his family parish, A few months after we were married, he stopped attending Mass regularly. He would go for Christmas & Easter, family weddings & funerals. He says he believes, but has issues with some of the church’s teachings and some of the “supposedly respectable people”. Talking, pleading, cajoling does not work. I ask now & then, but he always says no. Our parish sends him an invite to Welcome Catholics Home every month. He stopped opening it after the first few letters. Husband suffers from physical injuries & depression & alcoholism.

I have remained an active member of the parish, involved with scouting when my children were young, then music for several years, and now as a catechist. I attend a weekly faith sharing group. My husband has asked me several times why I don’t hostess this group when the “regular” hosts are away. He asks why I hesitate - is is because of him, is it because I am ashamed of our home, etc. I recognize these as trigger questions, meant to put ME on the defensive. He has good days, but I cannot predict them. Our house is cluttered & we have cats, but it can be made presentable. I have tried to host things in the past, and did not have much success. I live back on a dirt road & people have to park in the yard. It is a lot easier for me to attend things elsewhere.

I started wondering if this might be his way of reaching out. If we really do need to bring " Inviting Catholics Home" to him. I will pray about it.

 

[ClearWater]

If you’re willing to give hosting the group a shot, it wouldn’t be at all easy, as you already know. It’d be a lot of work between the cleaning and all the rest. Further, if he has good days and bad days with the alcoholism, depression, and, of course, there’s even a possibility it might not work out as hoped.

If you still believe, knowing all the challenges it would involve, that there might be a slight chance of reaching your husband and think it’d be worth it, you could try it. It’s really your call, because really only you know your husband and if it’s doable.

It’s really up to you as to whether you’d be willing to take the risk and be willing to put yourself through all that.

I’ll close with a prayer.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blest is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

He needs the Church but he also needs treatment for the depression and alcoholism.

 

[fred_conty]

Dizent,

Ten years after the manifestation of the Miraculous Medal to Sister Catherine Laboure in 1830, the Blessed Mother entrusted the Green Scapular of her Immaculate Heart to Sister Justine Bisqueyburu, likewise a Daughter of Charity of St. Vincent de Paul.

This scapular was given by Mary to bring people back to the church or to strengthen people in their faith.

How to use it.
Wear or carry the green scapular for yourself.

Give one to your husband to keep in his wallet. If he doesn’t want to do this then hide it where he frequents (i.e. room, lamp, house, car, chair, bed).

Pray, at least daily: “Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.”
This prayer should be said for yourself and separately again for him (unless he agrees to pray this prayer, which he might not do anyway.)

Scapular(s) should be blessed by a priest.

Have the strongest possible trust in Mary’s promise.
Mary’s own words were:
“The GREATEST graces come from using the scapular but these graces come
in direct proportion to the degree of CONFIDENCE IN ME which the user has.”
The user is you, not your husband.
Confidence means that you believe Mary will keep her promises.
It just means you do your part and she will do hers.

Promises of Mary:
… Conversion of those who do not have the faith
… Reconciliation to the Church for those who have lost/strayed from the faith
… Strengthening of the faith for those already in the Church
… Assurance of a peaceful death
… Protection from Satan for those who wear or promote the scapular

Just say, “Mary I thank you for your gift to us, and I know your promise will come true.”

Be faithful to the prayer every day.
She didn’t say when, just that she promised it would happen, which will be fulfilled when the time is right.

“Great graces are often attached to what seems trifling.” St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=544742&page=3

My father, a fallen-away Catholic, passed away several years ago. When he first became ill and was hospitalized, one of the Vincentian priest pinned a Green Scapular to his pillow. I know my mother was especially worried about his salvation, as he had not awakened following emergency surgery. He did awaken many days later, and that same Vincentian asked if he wished to receive the sacraments. He was on a ventilator, so he could not speak, but he could indicate “yes” or “no”, so the priest simply asked if he was sorry for any and all sins he committed, then he was given Extreme Unction. This was 2 years to the day of my auto accident, August 3rd. He died 2 days later, on the Feast of Our Lady of the Snows on August 5th. There is a promise attached to the Green Scapular that Our Lady will obtain the conversion of those who have fallen away from the True Faith. I’m convinced she did so with my father, the day of his death was clearly Providential.