Opposite-sex friends living together

[Matt6656]

I want to know if it is morally wrong to share a central living space with members of the opposite sex who are not your family members. It seems like a lot of people say this is a bad decision, but I have yet to come across any theological document that says it is morally wrong to do so–it seems like every argument against it is based off of fears; fears of what could possibly occur. But as I see it, just cuz’ something could happen 1, does not mean it will, and 2, is not morraly wrong. For example, one can drive a car at 50mph down the road and one could die, or kill someone else doing so, but that does not make the situation immoral. So please, if there is such a document, I would like to read it.

Here is the situation: I, and my best freind want to share a 2-bedroom appartment with our other best freinds–So two males in one bedroom and two females in the other bedroom. The only relationships between all the parties is strictly one of friendship. There has never been any realationships between the parties other then just freindship, and nor will there ever be. Everyone involved in this is an adult and Catholic, and that is why we are wondering if such an act would be immoral.

As far as we can tell, the only reason people oppose freinds living together is because they fear that it could become something more, which could lead to immoral acts–please correct me if I am wrong–I however, do not see it this way. I figure that as long as the males sleep in one room and the females in a completely different room, that it is 100% okay. It is no different then sleeping across the hall from someone, hosting a foreign exchange student, or what not.

Thank you.

 

[teachccd]

I want to know if it is morally wrong to share a central living space with members of the opposite sex who are not your family members. It seems like a lot of people say this is a bad decision, but I have yet to come across any theological document that says it is morally wrong to do so–it seems like every argument against it is based off of fears; fears of what could possibly occur. But as I see it, just cuz’ something could happen 1, does not mean it will, and 2, is not morraly wrong. For example, one can drive a car at 50mph down the road and one could die, or kill someone else doing so, but that does not make the situation immoral. So please, if there is such a document, I would like to read it.

Here is the situation: I, and my best freind want to share a 2-bedroom appartment with our other best freinds–So two males in one bedroom and two females in the other bedroom. The only relationships between all the parties is strictly one of friendship. There has never been any realationships between the parties other then just freindship, and nor will there ever be. Everyone involved in this is an adult and Catholic, and that is why we are wondering if such an act would be immoral.

As far as we can tell, the only reason people oppose freinds living together is because they fear that it could become something more, which could lead to immoral acts–please correct me if I am wrong–I however, do not see it this way. I figure that as long as the males sleep in one room and the females in a completely different room, that it is 100% okay. It is no different then sleeping across the hall from someone, hosting a foreign exchange student, or what not.

Thank you.

Being that no one would consider it a sin for a grandmother to share her home with her adult grandson the opposite gender situation is not the issue. The issue would be a couple of things, 1) Would this living arrangement cause scandal to you even though it is unwarranted? 2) Could there be any lustful thoughts which might lead to sexual behavior?

Opposite sex attraction is very strong even if it is not evident now. I would not recommend your situation as there are plenty of same gender roommates to choose from. This would eliminate any chance of future problems. While my view is that what you describe is not a sin, I still hold that temptation is there and even while it may be wrong people will judge your living arrangements.Is that right ? Maybe not but none the less fact.

 

[chevalier]

I’m not a fan of coed arrangements because of the running around in towels thing, accidents and all and the fact that you never know. Plus, people talk things. You don’t want to damage a lady’s reputation, either.

 

[teachccd]

I’m not a fan of coed arrangements because of the running around in towels thing, accidents and all and the fact that you never know. Plus, people talk things. You don’t want to damage a lady’s reputation, either.

I wish that I could just get to the point like you did.

 

[ABostonCatholic]

Remember when we pray the Our Father, “And lead us not into temptation…”

And our Act of Contrition “I firmly resolve…to avoid the near occasion of sin…”

In and of itself, it is not morally wrong. But it can 1) be a cause of scandal whisper: look at so and so over there…he claims to be a good catholic, but he is living with this other woman…) 2) be a cause of temptation.

 

[Malachy23]

there is nothing wrong with living in the same house with people of the opposite sex.

i started uni and i now live in a house with 2 girls and i really dont see anything morally worng about it what so ever!

 

[Abira]

to my own horror Id actually agree lol

I would share with men but only as I’m not attracted to men… so it’s kinda the opposite for me…

but then sometimes people gossip… but so what! I’m far less likely…well 99.999% not likely to sin with a guy or have thoughts… so i choose that over the risk of gossip.

I don’t think same sex room mates work overall although there will be a lot that do succeed and form close and innocent friendships

the case against scandal may not be s relevent today… as nothing shocks society any more lol

S

 

[ABostonCatholic]

to my own horror Id actually agree lol
the case against scandal may not be s relevent today… as nothing shocks society any more lol

S

The scandal is not about what society finds acceptable. People know that the Church condemns fornication, and the sight of possible hypocrites gives people something to complain about and accuse the Church of. Likewise, even though many today are tolerant of fornication and disagree with priestly celibacy, it is still a scandal if priests violate their vows (even with a consenting adult)

 

[Polaris]

I have had no problem with opposite sex roomates, I have had quite a few, and I am still really good friends with most of them. Even though we a spread all around the world. I was the Man(Maid) of Honor in one wedding, and a brides man(maid) in another where I walked next to a grooms woman. Yes, I know we are not exactly a conservative bunch but we are close friends and it also demonstrates if liberals can do it so can conservatives. If you are worried about scandel, dont, people now a days seem paranoid, even if you a living with only a female roomate they will consider you a lesbian. In fact the only time you will be safe and scandel free and they will not gossip about you is if you are a nun or married. Singles are the scourage of the Christian church now a days or thats the feeling I have been getting.

 

[StCsDavid]

Here is the situation: I, and my best freind want to share a 2-bedroom appartment with our other best freinds–So two males in one bedroom and two females in the other bedroom. The only relationships between all the parties is strictly one of friendship. There has never been any realationships between the parties other then just freindship, and nor will there ever be. Everyone involved in this is an adult and Catholic, and that is why we are wondering if such an act would be immoral.

As far as we can tell, the only reason people oppose freinds living together is because they fear that it could become something more, which could lead to immoral acts–please correct me if I am wrong–I however, do not see it this way. I figure that as long as the males sleep in one room and the females in a completely different room, that it is 100% okay. It is no different then sleeping across the hall from someone, hosting a foreign exchange student, or what not.

Thank you.

Rather than poll this group perhaps you should ask your parents and your local priest. If they’re all in agreement, then go for it. You may be mature enough to handle the situation, but the odds are against all four of you at your age being able to. I don’t say that to slam anyone, it’s just a reality of the level of maturity one has in his or her late teens, early twenties. I’ve been your age. I’ve been ten years older than you. I’ve been twenty years older than you. My experience tells me that this is not a good plan.

You also cannot guarantee that something won’t happen between the parties involved. If it does, then what?

Is it immoral in itself? Probably not. Is it wise? Probably not.

 

[beckers]

I want to know if it is morally wrong to share a central living space with members of the opposite sex who are not your family members. It seems like a lot of people say this is a bad decision, but I have yet to come across any theological document that says it is morally wrong to do so–it seems like every argument against it is based off of fears; fears of what could possibly occur. But as I see it, just cuz’ something could happen 1, does not mean it will, and 2, is not morraly wrong. For example, one can drive a car at 50mph down the road and one could die, or kill someone else doing so, but that does not make the situation immoral. So please, if there is such a document, I would like to read it.

Here is the situation: I, and my best freind want to share a 2-bedroom appartment with our other best freinds–So two males in one bedroom and two females in the other bedroom. The only relationships between all the parties is strictly one of friendship. There has never been any realationships between the parties other then just freindship, and nor will there ever be. Everyone involved in this is an adult and Catholic, and that is why we are wondering if such an act would be immoral.

As far as we can tell, the only reason people oppose freinds living together is because they fear that it could become something more, which could lead to immoral acts–please correct me if I am wrong–I however, do not see it this way. I figure that as long as the males sleep in one room and the females in a completely different room, that it is 100% okay. It is no different then sleeping across the hall from someone, hosting a foreign exchange student, or what not.

Thank you.

4 people living in a two bedroom apartment? I think the gender of the person doesn’t matter. That is a lot of people trying to share a bathroom. I don’t see that it will cause scandal because with 4 people in an apartment i don’t see how anyone can take it as sexaully. Even if someone over heard your converstations or were gossiping about your living situation they would hear “Roommates” and not “roommate” I think the pural makes a big difference. Just make sure you set lots of boundaries with any roommate. Understand that you MUST knock before entering a bedroom or a bathroom.