Opting out of Sex Ed

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Giannawannabe

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Tonight our Public School is having a “Reproductive Health Curriculum Presentation” for the 5th grade parents. Children in our state may opt out of sexuality education t/o school career. I am attending the presentation to see what it’s about, but have decided to keep my daughter out. I have been getting flack about it. Even friends who have been very vocal about keeping their kids out are now waffling as they don’t want their kid made fun of, they’ve heard the curriculum is “mild”, or they just are not sure they want to “rock the boat”. From the info thus far, it is a 5 class curriculum dealing with puberty, HIV/AIDS, and refusal skills, etc. done once a week for 5 straight weeks. Although I’m firm on my decision, I’m feeling a little shaken right now with people trying to “convince” me to keep my daughter in. I plan on opting her out and doing my own instruction at home (I have Dr. Collen’s program) and, if time, I’d like to take her to Mass at least one week. The class is first thing in the morning, so she doesn’t HAVE to be at school until around 10:00. Any opinions? Has anyone sent their kid to these classes? Thanks.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
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Giannawannabe:
Tonight our Public School is having a “Reproductive Health Curriculum Presentation” for the 5th grade parents. Children in our state may opt out of sexuality education t/o school career. I am attending the presentation to see what it’s about, but have decided to keep my daughter out. I have been getting flack about it. Even friends who have been very vocal about keeping their kids out are now waffling as they don’t want their kid made fun of, they’ve heard the curriculum is “mild”, or they just are not sure they want to “rock the boat”. From the info thus far, it is a 5 class curriculum dealing with puberty, HIV/AIDS, and refusal skills, etc. done once a week for 5 straight weeks. Although I’m firm on my decision, I’m feeling a little shaken right now with people trying to “convince” me to keep my daughter in. I plan on opting her out and doing my own instruction at home (I have Dr. Collen’s program) and, if time, I’d like to take her to Mass at least one week. The class is first thing in the morning, so she doesn’t HAVE to be at school until around 10:00. Any opinions? Has anyone sent their kid to these classes? Thanks.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
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Good for you! I definitely think that teaching her yourself is the way to go. Don’t worry about kids making fun of her; they either won’t notice, won’t care, or will forget about it in a day or so.
 
Why don’t you go to the presentation and listen with an open mind before making your decision? :o Sounds like you’re putting the cart before the horse. You may be surprised at the curriculum. Just my :twocents:
 
I think it sounds like a fine idea. Even when they go over the cirriculum, you never really know what is going to be said in the class, what kinds of discussions will come from questions, etc. And going to mass on those morning is a fabulous idea!!
 
:twocents: Go to the presentation and listen with an open mind then take your daugher to Mass and do the Dr. Collen’s program.

My daughters went through the public school and we were very blessed their teacher was a consertative Christian and knew exactly how we felt about pre-marital sex, homosexuality, etc. She, the teacher, kept the parents updated with a weekly newsletter of what happened in the class.

The one MAJOR thing the school does not teach and my wife and I had to fill in (and I hope you do) is the emotional side of sex. There is an old saying, “Men use love to get sex, women use sex to get love.” To my daughters, I can not stress enough, "Just because he says he loves

I pray for you God’s Blessings on this undertaking.
 
Good for you for at least attending the presentation to see what’s it’s all about. If you do opt out, who cares what other parents think? They probably envy your courage. If they break you, they won’t feel so bad! The other kids will most likely be jealous of your daughter–getting to come to school late :-).
–KCT
 
A couple of recommendations: 1) Don’t raise your children on popular opinion, it does not matter what “everyone else” is doing, do what is right. 2) Don’t decide a course of action prior to getting the facts.
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Giannawannabe:
Tonight our Public School is having a “Reproductive Health Curriculum Presentation” for the 5th grade parents. Children in our state may opt out of sexuality education t/o school career. I am attending the presentation to see what it’s about, but have decided to keep my daughter out.
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Sounds like you’ve decided regardless of the evidence, see # 2 above. It isn’t automatically evil because it’s from a public school.
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Giannawannabe:
I have been getting flack about it. Even friends who have been very vocal about keeping their kids out are now waffling as they don’t want their kid made fun of, they’ve heard the curriculum is “mild”, or they just are not sure they want to “rock the boat”.
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See #1 above
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Giannawannabe:
From the info thus far, it is a 5 class curriculum dealing with puberty, HIV/AIDS, and refusal skills, etc. done once a week for 5 straight weeks.
Although I’m firm on my decision, I’m feeling a little shaken right now with people trying to “convince” me to keep my daughter in.
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If you decide to let your child attend, would it be possible for you to attend also? That way you could correct any improper information given, and also insure the teacher doesn’t give their personal views.
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Giannawannabe:
I plan on opting her out and doing my own instruction at home (I have Dr. Collen’s program) and, if time, I’d like to take her to Mass at least one week.
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First see if it’s an offensive program, our school gave an excellent course, and we followed it up with strictly Catholic material that was totally appropriate.
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Giannawannabe:
Has anyone sent their kid to these classes?
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We’ve sent all four of our children to the public school classes on sex education. We did it after careful investigation and consideration. In our particular school (in addition to my wife teaching there) the principal is a strong Christian (not a Catholic) and the course emphasized abstinence. The school also offered an evening with parents and children in which a psychiatrist gave a presentation on the social pressures and again he emphasized abstinence. I also bought an excellent video (Catholic), it’s been years, but I think the name was “sex has a price”, it was excellent. Since we have three boys and one girl, I got the “talk” with the boys and my wife got our daughter. I stressed that a true man should be the one to insist on abstinence, not only the female. I also explained that if you truly love someone you could not have sex with her since it is a sin, and leading someone into sin does not express love but quite the opposite.
 
KCT

THat’s exactly what I was thinking—the other kids probably would be jealous. I think most kids this age don’t mind ditching school—for any reason:)

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut everyone. It’s so nice to have someplace to go where people understand where I’m coming from.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
Mommy, this is one major thing I worry about. The teacher told me if a question is asked, it will be answered in class. I’m sure the presentation will be very inoffensive. Things can be different in the classroom. The teacher who is teaching it is from a different school and no one really knows her (due to our health teacher being a first year teacher).
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mommy:
I think it sounds like a fine idea. Even when they go over the cirriculum, you never really know what is going to be said in the class, what kinds of discussions will come from questions, etc. And going to mass on those morning is a fabulous idea!!
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Tom,

You make some wonderful points. It is nice to hear from someone who has gone through the program. I have made my decision before the presentation because I feel that if I have to investigate something so much and have so many loose ends out there (kids questions, teacher’s background, teacher personal opinion being interjected), I would like to “do no harm” vs. possibly doing harm. In addition, I think some of the language used as to how one would contract AIDS/HIV might be too PC (i.e. using “partner” instead of husband or wife). Just my opinion. I’m going to the presentation to get an idea of what the kids in my daughter’s class are learning and what the direction is for future health class. In my day (30 years ago), I saw a 45 minute movie about beginning puberty in 6th grade. It was not an in depth 5 class course. Thank you very much for your (name removed by moderator)ut—you’ve been there.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
YOU are the parent, not the school, not your “neighbors.” By all means, hold your child out. You are more than correct in doing so.
 
I did sex ed in 4th grade. It didn’t go into too much details. My mom just asked what happened and I talked with her about it. The teacher never went anywhere that wasn’t appropriate. It was actually the best place that I learned about it. Our class only went into puberty and pregnancy, and girls and boys were separated.

I would go and then make my decision, if you decide to keep your child out make sure she feels very comfortable talking to you.
 
Schools should not be offering sex education classes. Teachers should not be teaching children how to do impure things. And children should not be discussing impure things with each other.
Sex education destroys the innocence of children.

Will the sex education class help the child to be a better Catholic and love Jesus more? No it will not. It will harm the child’s character and he will love Jesus less.
 
I know I’ll catch a lot of flak for this answer, but here goes. I have been a maternity nurse for over 25 years. And thru those years I have seen kids as young as 12 having babies. It is nothing for 16 and 17 y/o to have 2 or even 3 kids. I believe in sex education…whether it be in school or at home. We don’t teach our children near enough about their bodies and how to take care of them and respect them. So it is no wonder that we see “babies having babies” And how many parents feel comfortable discussing sex with their kids? Don’t go thinking that because your child is in grade school that they don’t think about sex. Believe me , they do! I think sex education should start as soon as the child starts asking questions. Perhaps then I wouldn’t see them when they are 11 or 12 because by then it is too late.
~ Kathy ~
 
I have very few complaints about my parents, they did a great job raising my sister and me!

But, one of the worst mistakes they made was opting out of this type of class for my sister and me. While they had the best of intentions, I regret not being able to be part of this. When I have children they will definitely attend and then afterwards talk to me about specific morality.
 
We will face this decision next year when my daughter is in 6th grade. Here is my concern in a nutshell: The public schools are expected to deliver “just the facts ma’am” and are largely prevented from putting them within the context of a guiding morality. Yet, to me, there is no way to adequately explain sex, reproduction and related issues without laying the foundation of God’s plan, design and intent for His gift of human sexuality. In my mind the values and the mechanics are inseparable. Thus if the school must divorce morality from sex, I feel it is no place for my daughter to get her education.

I do not disagree with earlier posters who are concerned about children who receive no information whatsoever at home. The public schools are a safety net of last resort and I agree many educators are ethical, moral and discreet in their efforts. But it is hardly the ideal or preferable means to educate your child on these fundamental values.
 
No matter how good the program appears (or indeed may be) don’t send your kids to a sex ed program without making sure that it meets what the Church says about this kind of education.

The whole document is here. vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_08121995_human-sexuality_en.html

The Church is not anti sex-ed. It does, however, make it clear that parents have a responsibility to make sure that sex-ed presented to our children doesn’t harm them - psychologically or spiritually.

While well meaning, few school programs do a good job of teaching chastity and most do a really good job at destroying childhood innocence and invading the child’s right to privacy. Protecting that innoncence is one of a parent’s primary responsibilities. Other problems are that these programs are often delivered in co-ed settings which are particularly inappropriate at the age you are describing and they often treat parents as an additional reinforcing resource instead of the **primary educators ** of their children.

Good luck. I have known a few kids that were opted out of sex ed when I was in school. They hated being “left out” then but when they were adults, they considered it a badge of honor and proof that they had caring parents. 🙂
 
Thanks all. I just returned from the meeting. I am not very happy. It was more explicit than I thought. Only 4 parents out of 60 kids came. I’m a little down. I thought it would be “mild” as others reported. The only problem is I’m in the vast MINORITY. I know Steph700 said she’s still mad at her parents for opting her and her sister out, but I just cannot jeopardize my child’s innocence this way. I can instruct her, I’ve already told her a lot. I will continue with Dr. Colleen’s curriculum. At least I’m not alone here.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
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Giannawannabe:
Thanks all. I just returned from the meeting. I am not very happy. It was more explicit than I thought. Only 4 parents out of 60 kids came. I’m a little down. I thought it would be “mild” as others reported. The only problem is I’m in the vast MINORITY. I know Steph700 said she’s still mad at her parents for opting her and her sister out, but I just cannot jeopardize my child’s innocence this way. I can instruct her, I’ve already told her a lot. I will continue with Dr. Colleen’s curriculum. At least I’m not alone here.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
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My philosophy was to get to my daughter first–talking to her about sex but with our Catholic moralit–and before she got it from others (the school or from other kids). If you tell her less than the other kids get at school, they will probably talk about it among themselves and she may get a skewed sense of what they were told. Plus she may feel like you are hiding things from her. Finally, you may inadvertently signal to her that she can’t talk to you about her misunderstandings or questions. I would suggest that you don’t opt her out but rather talk to her first–telling her what you want her to kno–and talking to her again after she has the school program (so that you can reinforce your Catholic values). This is one of the toughest parenting tasks and one of the most important. God bless.
 
Is it just an inevitable fact of the modern age that there is no way to keep children from losing their innocence at such an early age? Since–if they are kept out of the school programs the other children will talk about it anyway? Is it inevitable that children will be sexualized in grade school?
 
In all honesty. Are you a expert on sexuality? If your not then I think it could lead to a travisty by not allowing her to take the class.

No matter what, your daughter is going to learn about sex, and all that is involved with it. Do you want someone who is knowledgble about to teach her? Or some teen boy or girl. I think in this case the best way to keep sin at bay is knowledge, ignorance will get a child or adult in trouble. Now if its planned parenthood teaching then I would look elsewhere or get some good books.

Also this is a sensitive subject, is she really going to ask you the tough questions. Will she be to embaressed to ask you? Don’t you feel that those should be answered?

At our parish we do sex-ed at 5th grade CCD and catholic school. This is a year before the public schools. You would be amazed on the stuff little girls know about already at 5th grade. The boys believe it or not are not yet really into it yet
 
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