OSAS minister is found to never have been saved?

[carol_marie]

I believe one of Bunyon’s characters had a dream he was saved, but realized it wasn’t so and said that these were God’s sharpest arrows. What do you do with someone who thinks they are saved and later doesn’t think so. Or someone who thinks they are, but are in fact not saved. This becomes simple subjectivism. I feel therefore I am. There was no mistaking that I felt saved back then, but now that I am Catholic they suddenly say I am not. Both mormonism and calvinism seem to depend on subjective feelings more then anything else.

This was my experience for sure. Even though I had “asked Jesus into my heart” I was always questioning whether I meant it. I wanted to mean it… I thought I meant it… but did I REALLY mean it? Because the Bible says my heart is deceitful - so what if I was only fooling myself? I was always afraid that I would get to heaven and God would say, “Get away from me… I never knew you” because even though I went to church, tried to be a good person, taught Sunday School etc., none of that counted - my good works were just filthy rags. The only thing that counted was did I have faith? REALLY have faith? And not just any kind of faith but SAVING Faith?? I think the “assurance” of salvation is a joke because I believe that in their heart of hearts, even those who say otherwise often worry if their prayer to be saved “worked.”