Our Father hand signals

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I can certainly sympathize with those who don’t like hand-holding. I am quite uncomfortable with it, and every Mass is stressful for me. Silly perhaps, but very real. I think it’s an inappropriate gesture in that situation, and I resent being forced to choose between being the “odd one out” or going along with the crowd and thereby being discomforted by the unwanted intimacy.

I am not, nor have I ever been, comfortable with touching or hugging for merely social reasons. Personal touch is much too intimate for me, and reserved for my family and dearest friends. Handshakes are okay, but holding hands is not the same
 
I guess what some are looking for is clear body language.

Our Parish is hand-holders (AAA background) These people need that continuance to help in their recovery. I am neutral, and am fairly comfortable with either situation, however I don’t like these chains which extend through a few rows and reach front and back if there is no one next to you. I have had people pull my clothes or calll my name. I usually just turn and smile, but keep my hands in front ot me. I like to let them know I am not rejecting them, just their acrobatics.

If there is someone next to me, I turn and extend my hand and smile, and let them choose to take it or not.

A smile is universal communication, and softens any negativity, Isn’t that famous line from the “Virginian”?

“When you call me that—Smile”
 
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TeriGator:
I am not, nor have I ever been, comfortable with touching or hugging for merely social reasons. Personal touch is much too intimate for me, and reserved for my family and dearest friends. Handshakes are okay, but holding hands is not the same
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Do you try to position yourself at the end of a row? If I felt that way, I think I would step out of the pew for the Lord’s Prayer. It may feel odd in the beginning, but if you cannot find a Mass without hand-holding, it would certainly be better to find a way to be more comfortable. Otherwise, just smile and say “No thank you”
 
My main problem with holding hands is it detracts from my concentration. Jesus is now present on the altar - I want to say this beautiful prayer in front of him and mean every word of it so I close my eyes and bow my head. If I’m holding hands with someone, my focus, even if in a small way, is directed towards the person whose hand I’m holding (do they want to let go before or after the doxology, am I making it comfortable for them by not stretching their arm too far, I’m uncomfortable because I’m reaching too far to accommodate their wanting to hold hands, etc.). I want to actually PRAY this prayer and not just recite it and I can’t do that well if I’m distracted. Our family is probably only one of 3-4 families in our large church that doesn’t hold hands.
 
I think a lot of you need to go to the Parish retreat by Father Michael Sullivan. He is great and does a whole thing about the hand shake. Father Sullivan does a really good job at explaining why we have the shake of peace and how not wanting to do the handshake could actually drive someone away from the church. I will listen to the tape I have again and post some of his great points. He also says that he always picks out a married couple and watches them during the sign of peace and he says most of them shake hands. He says, you just slept with this person in the same bed and you are afraid to give a hug or kiss to your spouse!
 
Does anyone know the origin of the hand holding during the Our Father? I’ve heard that it was a Protestant custom, but I’ve never read anything conclusive. Anyone have any additional info?

God Bless,
Gary
 
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