Our marriage isn't blessed yet but

[ollieollie]

We are beginning the process of having our marriage convalidated (is that the word?) on Monday but we both want to go to confession since we have turned our lives around. i understand that you can’t go to confession if you are living in sin but if you aren’t having relations, is it still a sin? is there anything wrong with living together while waiting for our marriage to be blessed if we aren’t doing anything? Sorry if this is TMi but we really want to go to Confession today if possible. Our family friend is the deacon of our Church who has known my husband’s family since before he was born so my husband doesn’t want to ask him this lol

 

[edward_george]

We are beginning the process of having our marriage convalidated (is that the word?) on Monday but we both want to go to confession since we have turned our lives around. i understand that you can’t go to confession if you are living in sin but if you aren’t having relations, is it still a sin? is there anything wrong with living together while waiting for our marriage to be blessed if we aren’t doing anything? Sorry if this is TMi but we really want to go to Confession today if possible. Our family friend is the deacon of our Church who has known my husband’s family since before he was born so my husband doesn’t want to ask him this lol

You should go to confession before you get married. I don’t know why anyone would tell you not to go to confession, unless of course you did not approach the sacrament with firm purpose of amendment, which would signify that you were not doing so with some degree of contrition. You can and should go to confession before your convalidation–just avoid serious sin between now and then, and avoid the near occasion thereof (so if he has to sleep on the couch this weekend, so be it!)

-ACEGC

 

[TexCatholic4JMJ]

We are beginning the process of having our marriage convalidated (is that the word?) on Monday but we both want to go to confession since we have turned our lives around. i understand that you can’t go to confession if you are living in sin but if you aren’t having relations, is it still a sin? is there anything wrong with living together while waiting for our marriage to be blessed if we aren’t doing anything? Sorry if this is TMi but we really want to go to Confession today if possible. Our family friend is the deacon of our Church who has known my husband’s family since before he was born so my husband doesn’t want to ask him this lol

Yes, go to confession. Tell the priest the situation and he will guide you, but I believe he
will ask you to live as brother and sister until the situation with your marriage is
resolved.

 

[ollieollie]

You should go to confession before you get married. I don’t know why anyone would tell you not to go to confession, unless of course you did not approach the sacrament with firm purpose of amendment, which would signify that you were not doing so with some degree of contrition. You can and should go to confession before your convalidation–just avoid serious sin between now and then, and avoid the near occasion thereof (so if he has to sleep on the couch this weekend, so be it!)

-ACEGC

Thank you for the response. The deacon of our Church had told us not to go to Confession (i’m guessing he was assuming we would be having relations?)… we didn’t ask at the time because we didn’t realize why he told us not to until we started researching. We went to Confession today because we both have made the commitment. we will find out on Monday how long this process will take i’m guessing but now that we have gone to Confession, is it a sin to sleep in the same bed (not sex but physically in the bed). We sleep in the bed with our daughter in between us every night so personally i don’t see the harm in it, but is it against the church?

 

[ollieollie]

Yes, go to confession. Tell the priest the situation and he will guide you, but I believe he
will ask you to live as brother and sister until the situation with your marriage is
resolved.

thank you for the response! We went to Confession and the priest didn’t say anything other than asking if we are taking care of getting our marriage convalidated and we didn’t have time to talk before or after today so i’m still left wondering a few questions but we will probably call the deacon tomorrow and ask some more questions about the process. i’m not sure what it means to live as brother and sister!