Out of lonliness and nostaliga I went to what seemed the most familier to me. I went to a coptic orthdox church

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ykme20

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I was born in a Coptic (Egyptian) catholic family, but the rest of my family members are Coptic Orthodox. When I came to the states, I was very happy that I can attend a parish and a church, without any discrimination. However, every catholic church that I went to, I felt like an outsider. Heck I was treated as an outsider, because I didn’t grow up in the area, nobody knows me at all, and most don’t even want to know me. As of now I’m 22 years old, and I wanted to meet a catholic woman, and hopefully I could start a relationship.

So far I’m happy that I now have a fulltime job from the moment I graduated. However, I still felt lonely overall, so I decided to take a plunge at going to a Coptic orthodox bible study. The only Coptic catholic church is all the way up in New York, so I was desperate at this point. The moment I went there, I felt I was back home, everyone was welcoming me. All the women wanted to talk to me, and I was mentally satisfied. However, I am still a catholic at heart, so a lot of confusion ensued, I don’t want to become an Orthodox christian. Though at this point, I can’t reconcile a community that is my age and that is also welcoming. So how do I compromise?
 
This is a tough one. If you were raised in the Egyptian culture, you are accustomed to a more open, emotive communication style. When you attend a Coptic church in America you are surrounded by ex-patriots who are intensely interested in new members entering the community. I am neither Coptic not Egyptian but have attended activities at the Coptic Orthodox parish, and i always feel welcome there.

Social dynamics in American Catholic parishes are very different, if not diametrically opposed. No one is interested and this will likely remain so. I think this will not change.
You are finding yourself between two cultures and two religions. I would suggest remaining with the Catholic church, but attending social events at the Coptic parish. This will be difficult to navigate, but you have already learned about some of these difficulties as you are living in the West.
I wish you luck.
 
If I may; why don’t you go to a vigil Mass on Saturday evening (if you can), and go to a Coptic Orthodox church on Sundays? I know of some people that do that (or, something similar) so they can worship with their spouses.
 
I guess I should just alternate it. The priest granted me permission to receive communion. I attended the bible study last time, and this was my first introduction to the parish. He’s in charge of that bible study as well. So I guess I’ll just alternate between every week.
 
Just one more thing about Catholic parishes. I don’t know your living situation, but if you can, try attending a parish near a university campus, or one that offers Latin mass. Both of these tend to attract younger folks.
In my city, the cathedral church downtown attracts a lot of young people as well.
Some parishes arrange social gatherings for young adults.
 
Oh I tried that, and I often encountered a couple of things. They’re either very liberal, unwelcoming, or prefer people who they knew from their childhood. I live in NJ, and I’m close to New York. Really my only reason for me taking the plunge by going to an orthodox church. Is at least I wasn’t treated like I was an outsider, I really don’t understand what happened. But this is my situation, and I’m very certain it’s because of outside influences.
 
One of the things that is happening has to do with the big transition you are undergoing. I mean, leaving the university environment of 20 or 30 thousand people your age, and entering the outside world. The support system of college life and the large groups of people you lived with are now gone. As you work your way through this you will likely establish tie with co-workers, other professionals, etc. Your ethnic community is something like a safety net, a replacement family, but this too has its limitations. Very often these communities exists outside the mainstream, which can be good, but can also be restrictive and make demands.
My brief experience in Egypt included the group decision process. As you live within a group, it can be difficult to make independent decisions, as everyone around you wants to participate. It can be pleasant at times, as you do get that warm community support. But, it was hard for me take after a while. I wish you luck on your journey.
 
I never had a support system in college, and nothing has changed since the past few years. You’re right about the whole ethnic thing, but that was my final resort, cause I didn’t care about it at first, until I realized a lot of people do care about it. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t welcome, but who knows. Also, I didn’t move out yet, I was going to until I got a fulltime position at the job I currently work at. So there is no point for me to leave family home (which isn’t much, because I only live with my mom and sis)
 
There is nothing wrong with going to a Coptic Orthodox bible study if you are Coptic Catholic. The only difference should be communion with Rome. We as eastern Catholics are called, by Rome, to return to our ecclesiastical heritage. If the priest is ok with you receiving communion it should be no problem at all. Become a member of that parish. Good luck!

ZP
 
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