Out of town lots for work?

[CHCatholic]

iIm in the process of becomnig a pilot and once i reach the big times (United, American, etc i will be in the unfourtnate circumstance of being away from home a lot of course this can lead to a lot of problems (pilot divorce rate anywhere from 80-90%) so i was wondering if anyone else on here has had to be out of town lots for work and how it affected them and their families and what you have done to alleviate the situation

 

[lotusblossom]

I’m not in this situation, but my mom grew up in this situation. My grandfather was a pilot for Eastern and was gone often. His marriage has lasted fifty years now. It’s not easy, but both spouses have to be in it for the long haul and understand the sacrifices that come with it. My grandparents have six beautiful children who all have families of their own now.

Also, growing up, my dad was not gone as much as an airline pilot would be, but he’s always worked long hours and had to go away for weekends each month and two and a half weeks during the summer. He’d usually get up before any of us and leave for work, come home in the evening, maybe eat dinner with us, and then off to bed. Many times, not even that, because he refereed for extra money for our family. It wasn’t always easy, but we knew he was doing it for us. My parents have been married for almost 30 yrs.

The statistics may be against you, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. If you take into account how many marriages end in divorce period today, along with how affairs and such have been downplayed, these statistics shouldn’t be surprising. If your spouse understands ahead of time, and is a strong person, and completely dedicated to living out your marriage vows, it will work. With God all things are possible!

 

[Philothea_2.0]

The biggest thing I have noticed about the family I know in this situation (dad is United pilot, gone 3-4 days a week for transatlantic flights) is that when he’s home, he’s home. He’s not at Home Depot or the bar or watching “the game” or hanging out with his buddies. He’s spending real quality time with his family, going to church, pushing the kids on the swings, talking to his wife about her week, etc. They also homeschool, so the kids are home when he is.

It seems like it’s been a nice life for them.

 

[stayathomemom]

My husband is out of town quite a bit (2-3 nights every other week, sometimes every week), and while it does get old, I appreciate the fact that he tries so hard to provide for our family. When he is home, he is dedicated 100% to family. He spends time with our children, and makes time for me too. He is not out “with the guys”, in a bar, playing video games, parked in front of the tv, or doing anything that is not family oriented. I think this keeps our family unit strong, and our marriage strong. Not to mention, it also sets a good example for our children to see their dad so involved in their lives. My oldest daughter (6 1/2 years old) commented to me the other day how she loves it when her Dad is home because “we are all together like a family again.” That just warmed my heart

 

[Nechasin]

I’m usually out of town for 3-4 months a year and I come home on the weekends every 2-3 weeks during that time. I think it would be much more difficult on my wife if she didn’t have the good support system that she has. Almost all of our family is within 30 minutes or less. My dad is in the same industry as me, so my mom understands what my wife is going through. So I would say it would help tremendously to make sure you are living somewhere where your wife would be able to get the support that she needs from relatives and friends while you are away.