Out of wedlock child

[oldwife]

My husband of 36 years is having an affair with a young catholic woman who is now pregnant. It is my understanding that even if he divorces me he cannot marry her in a catholic church so therefore she will not be married in the eyes of God. What happens to her soul and the childs?

 

[KCT]

She would need to go to confession. The child had no choice in the matter, so his or her soul is not affected.

 

[1ke]

My husband of 36 years is having an affair with a young catholic woman who is now pregnant.

I am sorry you are going through this and that your husband has been unfaithful.

It is my understanding that even if he divorces me he cannot marry her in a catholic church so therefore she will not be married in the eyes of God.

The short answer is “it depends” – there are some other factors including whether you and/or he are baptized, and whether or not he petitions for/receives a decree of nullility.

Suffice it to say, as things stand now he would not be able to marry her in the Church.

What happens to her soul

Well, she’s committing adultery-- and that is a sin. She can always repent and return to a state of grace. If she marries outside the Church, she would be in a state of sin. But, again, she could rectify this situation and return to a state of grace.

and the childs?

The child is an innocent party.

 

[teachccd]

What about the soul of your husband? It sounds like you are very compassionate to the welfare of his mistress. That’s a good thing. There are two innocent souls (you and the child) and two culpable souls (your husband and his young Catholic girlfriend)

You are in my prayers…teachccd

 

[1ke]

What about the soul of your husband? It sounds like you are very compassionate to the welfare of his mistress. That’s a good thing. There are two innocent souls (you and the child) and two culpable souls (your husband and his young Catholic girlfriend)

You are in my prayers…teachccd

And really, how “Catholic” is a woman who has an affair with a married man?

She may not be practicing at all, and wouldn’t care about the Church’s marriage laws.

 

[PetersKeys]

And really, how “Catholic” is a woman who has an affair with a married man?

She may not be practicing at all, and wouldn’t care about the Church’s marriage laws.

Obviously, she dosen’t sound like shes trying to follow her faith. She sounds like a homewrecker adulterer

 

[DesertAscetic]

Why are so many people assuming this woman isn’t “really” Catholic just because she’s succumbed to the temptation to sin? Or that she isn’t following her faith?

Not fulfilling your Sunday obligation is a mortal sin just like adultery, and somehow I don’t think you’d all be sitting in your pews on Sunday wondering what would happen to John & Jane Doe’s souls because they happened to not show up and you knew they were home watching the Superbowl.

I know adultery affects us all emotionally much worse than not fulfilling Sunday obligation. But mortal sin is mortal sin. You can’t be deader than dead. Sure the punishment for one might be more than another, but verdict of condemnation is the same.

We are all working out our salvation, and stumbling in varying ways. You can judge her actions as wrong without calling into question her faith. You have no idea the circumstances that led to her succumbing to sin, and thus no way of knowing the relationship of her decision to sin to her faith in general.

Why are people so quick to want to contemplate that perhaps a sinner is really just a “fake Christian” intent on wrecking a person’s home? You mentioned “obviously she isn’t trying”… what if she is, and she’s weak?

The only young women I’ve known who’ve been attracted to much older men who were married, were all deeply scarred people that had lived through years of emotionally (sometimes physical abuse) and were looking for any father figure type. In fact, it’s the married men that preyed upon them! This doesn’t excuse her act, because it is her responsibility to seek healing and strength on this issue, but it definitely doesn’t make her this homewrecker whore who disregards her faith.

 

[Harmony1988]

That takes courage to inquire about the offending party’s ‘soul’, especially when she has ruined things for you. Great deed.

Ofcourse, I need not repeat it, others have done so already, the answers.

 

[1ke]

Why are so many people assuming this woman isn’t “really” Catholic just because she’s succumbed to the temptation to sin? Or that she isn’t following her faith?

Because she is “having” == present tense == and affair with a married man. That is evidence she is not following her faith.

Not fulfilling your Sunday obligation is a mortal sin just like adultery, and somehow I don’t think you’d all be sitting in your pews on Sunday wondering what would happen to John & Jane Doe’s souls because they happened to not show up and you knew they were home watching the Superbowl.

You are quite wrong about that. I am definitely concerned for some parishioners who fail to come to Church regularly-- particularly the parents of my CCD students who miss mass for no good reason. This has come up when discussing the commandments in CCD. It’s very troubling and I do worry for them and for the poor example they are showing their children.

This doesn’t excuse her act, because it is her responsibility to seek healing and strength on this issue, but it definitely doesn’t make her this homewrecker whore who disregards her faith.

Well, it definitely makes her a homewrecker. Perhaps there are circumstances that mitigate her culpability, which we can hope for. But, it doesn’t change the fact that she is not currently practicing her faith if she stays in an adulterous relationship with this man.

 

[DesertAscetic]

Because she is “having” == present tense == and affair with a married man. That is evidence she is not following her faith.

I understand this. But the poster I was commenting on went on to even imply that perhaps she didn’t even care about Catholic laws and morality at all. She is having an affair, but perhaps she is still trying to get back on track in her faith. We have no idea. Perhaps she is afraid for her child, and the husband is claiming there is potential for annulment of the first marriage, so she is waiting for a valid marriage. We have no idea, because the original poster didn’t give any. Even if it happens to be the case that she is a nonchalant promiscuous heathen, we don’t know. And, being that I can think of at least 5 different scenarios in which the affair could have happened and she’s still trying to live out her faith (via repentance and correction of the situation), I don’t see why a person would even WANT to let their mind immediately go to the judgment of her faith.

You are quite wrong about that. I am definitely concerned for some parishioners who fail to come to Church regularly-- particularly the parents of my CCD students who miss mass for no good reason. This has come up when discussing the commandments in CCD. It’s very troubling and I do worry for them and for the poor example they are showing their children.

Good! I’m glad to see some consistency, at least on your part.

Well, it definitely makes her a homewrecker. Perhaps there are circumstances that mitigate her culpability, which we can hope for. But, it doesn’t change the fact that she is not currently practicing her faith if she stays in an adulterous relationship with this man.

The operative word being “if”, which is my point exactly. We don’t know, so why even speculate? All we know is that the OP alluded to them becoming married. I’ve known of couples who’ve gotten pregnant out of wedlock, but realized the error of their ways, and chose to be chaste until married after that. We have no idea.

The OP said the girl was Catholic, and until given evidence to the contrary, I don’t see why one wouldn’t give the benefit of the doubt that this girl is handling the situation the way any Catholic who got off track and found themselves in a predicament would handle it.

I mean, what is the confession booth for? Are all those people “not practicing their faith” from the time they commit sin until the time they reach the confession booth? If sinning makes one not a Catholic, that’s pretty frightening. Now, manifest sin and disregard of faith obviously makes one not a Catholic, but we have no knowledge of that here.