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dizzy_dave
Guest
How can I overcome selfishness, I have always been this way and can’t seem to improve it, any tips?
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T.A.Stobie_SFO
Guest
If you truly want to overcome selfishness, do an extra selfless act each day. Choose to go out of your way for someone else.
Identify those areas in your life where you are selfish and work on each of them to be more giving of yourself, your time, and your money.
Ask God to help you to love others more.
Pray a lot. Meditate on how much God has given you. Then remember that your gifts were given to you for the good of the many.
Ask those close to you to point out your selfishness when it occurs and take it well.
Identify those areas in your life where you are selfish and work on each of them to be more giving of yourself, your time, and your money.
Ask God to help you to love others more.
Pray a lot. Meditate on how much God has given you. Then remember that your gifts were given to you for the good of the many.
Ask those close to you to point out your selfishness when it occurs and take it well.
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space_ghost
Guest
I don’t know if I would agree with you about your selfishness… your pretty giving in these threads daily… and as far as what you are doing about it… recognizing that you have a selfishness issue is a pretty good start on fixing your preceived problem… i’m not ready to buy that your all that selfish …usless your hogging the computer… 
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Deacon_Tony560
Guest
Join the crowd. Most of us have to fight this from infancy. Joining a “Third Order” or volunteering at a soup kitchen, hospital, or old age home could point you in the right direction.
God bless you for admitting what most of us want to ignore.
Deacon Tony
God bless you for admitting what most of us want to ignore.
Deacon Tony
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davidv
Guest
One confessor I had offered the advice that “selfishness” is too broad a term. He advised that focus on the specific actions/thoughts/inaction that I thought selfish. Then with something specific you can devise a strategy on how to avoid it.
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ATeNumquam
Guest
I recognise selfishness as a problem in my life, Dizzy-Dave, especially as in my case I am not married & have no kids. The best cure for selfishness, it seems to me, is to have kids!
I LOVE living alone, but it has its dangers (spiritual) as one gets older, if one can basically do as one pleases within the confines of the law and the need to earn a living!
So, I started to form and practice some little habits which have become pretty automatic by now, and they do help me to look “outwards” to others. You may well laugh at how small these things are !!
Say something friendly to the check-out person/sales-person about himself/herself, without it being superficial (not if it would be inappropriate - you have to judge).
Drive with the utmost courtesy - signalling early enough, letting someone into the trafffic flow if it wouldn’t cause inconvenience,
not getting impatient with someone who seems to be driving slowly (maybe they’re looking for an address or a parking place).
Thinking of excuses for everything you see that irritates you in others (i.e. why they might be like that, or exhibiting such behaviour) rather that letting it get to you.
Walking along the street, pray for certain people that you pass by, or in traffic, those beside you waiting at the traffic lights.
These are just some examples, but I fervently hope, for myself, that they are helping me to go against the tendency to always put myself first. (Alas, I know only too well that my natural tendency is to be irritated easily, impatient, thoughtless, etc etc.)
A Te numquam separari permittas - never let me be separated from You
I LOVE living alone, but it has its dangers (spiritual) as one gets older, if one can basically do as one pleases within the confines of the law and the need to earn a living!
So, I started to form and practice some little habits which have become pretty automatic by now, and they do help me to look “outwards” to others. You may well laugh at how small these things are
!!Say something friendly to the check-out person/sales-person about himself/herself, without it being superficial (not if it would be inappropriate - you have to judge).
Drive with the utmost courtesy - signalling early enough, letting someone into the trafffic flow if it wouldn’t cause inconvenience,
not getting impatient with someone who seems to be driving slowly (maybe they’re looking for an address or a parking place).
Thinking of excuses for everything you see that irritates you in others (i.e. why they might be like that, or exhibiting such behaviour) rather that letting it get to you.
Walking along the street, pray for certain people that you pass by, or in traffic, those beside you waiting at the traffic lights.
These are just some examples, but I fervently hope, for myself, that they are helping me to go against the tendency to always put myself first. (Alas, I know only too well that my natural tendency is to be irritated easily, impatient, thoughtless, etc etc.)
A Te numquam separari permittas - never let me be separated from You
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csr
Guest
Progress in spiritual development is often divided into three “ways”: the purgative, the illuminative, and the unitive. A great book to read is Guidance in Spiritual Direction by Charles Hugo Doyle, currently re-issued by Roman Catholic Books. One point to consider: It may be that selfishness is not what is termed your “predominant fault”. Reading books like Doyle’s could clarify the relevant issues quite a lot.
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Salena
Guest
T.A.Stobie:
…and I got a good laugh out of Space Ghost’s comment…hope you did too!
Great advice!
…and I got a good laugh out of Space Ghost’s comment…hope you did too!
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