Overloaded by worries

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Searchofhope

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Hi,
I would like to share and also would welcome advice in my issues. I worry too much and all the time, it has been going on for about a couple of years. I have OCD in a mild form, not taking any medicine for it, but I guess it enlarges my worries too. Mostly I am worried about my mum and my dog because both of them are elderly and I try to overprotect them even if I know and believe that Jesus is the only One that can help and save. I want to trust Him but I think I must have serious faith issues, even if I pray several times a day, if I worry so much that I feel burdened by it daily.
I’m a single school teacher anyway (over 40, secondary school)), I have one best friend who I can be totally honest with, but no other close friends.
I have tried several times to help myself by deciding that I will not worry but it won’t work. Please pray for me and if you can give advice, I would be happy about that.

God bless you and thank you for reading.
 
I can relate. I too live alone and have a very limited social life.

I too have a tendency to worrying too much and overthinking things and as a result suffer from anxiety. The year 2018 has been one big worry fest for me. The one thing that helps me is the thought that no amount of worry will solve any future problems or present day problems. Worry does not solve anything except add to stress which gives rise to health problems. Worrying actually adds to the problem.

Praying for us both. I know what a struggle it can be.
 
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Thank you for your prayers. I also suffer from a lot of anxiety, together with the worries and it’s very tiring and demanding. I guess introverted personality has a huge role in limited social life that we have, it would be probably good to have more close friends but it’s difficult for me to let them in. I wish you a Happy and Blessed New Year.
 
Thank you.

I sincerely hope that 2019 will be a lot better year for the both of us.

May God bless you with his care and the grace of trust in his providence.
 
I have tried with psychologists, even a Christian one, didn’t help anything. I didn’t feel at all that the person can relate to my problems and couldn’t give useful advice either. I would not like to take medicine as I believe the side effects are a lot worse even than my present problems.
 
One thing that helps is daily prayer, especially if you catch yourself worrying.

When I start worrying, I catch myself and say a prayer asking God for his care and guidance.

God will give you what you need when you need it. I speak from experience.
 
Thank you! Yes, prayer helps a lot, I do pray several times a day but when there is a problem my mind overloads itself with worries, that I tend to forget about prayer for a while during the day. I try to put myself back to course when I realise it, but worry is sucha bad feeling also physically. I sometimes tremble, my stomach is stiff, my muscles are in pain. I take some herbs to feel calmer but it’s usually not enough to help. God has helped me many times and has given several graces, but I think my main problem is that I blame myself for everything that happens. I’m actually tried of blaming myself for everything but I can’t stop it. So when something happens, I fear that I will be responsible and will feel guilty and then things are even worse.
 
Excessive worrying can be counterproductive because it actually distorts reality. You mentioned blaming yourself for a lot of things that happen and it may arise from an exaggerated sense of power to affect things and events. In reality we really don’t have that much power as individuals. I guess as introverts we live in our own little world and we lose the ability to look at the real world and our place in it more objectively.

It helps to have someone look at your worries from an objective point of view. This could help you.

This forum has helped me a lot in term of worry. Helps me gain a sense of perspective. There are some people who will say that I am making a mountain out of a molehill which helps me.

Remember perception does not always equate to reality.
 
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There are many ways to tackle anxiety. As a Catholic I’d say it’s very difficult to pray the rosary properly and worry simultaneously, in fact it may be impossible if you are actually visualising the mysteries alongside saying the Hail Mary. That may give you a badly needed break even if you only say one decade, perhaps at lunch for five minutes.

Sometimes we can look back to a period of time when we didn’t have these kinds of worries, what were your circumstances then, how was your life then and perhaps attempt to recreate the circumstances and mindset you had at that time.

We can also visualise how it would feel to not have worries. How would that feel, how would you imagine it would be? Perhaps it is possible to do such a visualisation habitually, especially once you become adept at it.

Of course God has all the answers, all that love for you and of course He wants you well, healthy in mind, spirit and body. Sometimes we forget that we are more than just human bodies, we might forget that we have within us the precious cargo of the Holy Sprirt. As Catholics we can offer up our suffering and request some relief from it too.
 
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I haven’t read this forum for long but now I will try to read what could help me as objectivitiy is very important, as you said. I experienced it too that both our intorvert natures and our subjectivity of our own problems would distort reality to a great extent. Many times family members tell me that I exaggerate things and that is correct, I know that for sure.
Sometimes I fear that I hurt God by behaving as if I had the power to stop anything, but then the other side of the story is that if I don’t do anything I can, then I feel the blame already that it will be my fault if something happens. It’s very difficult to find the balance and to put these worries into God’s hands, even if that is my ultimate goal.
 
The first step is to kick out the worry and look at a problem and see what is within your control and what is not. The accompanying sense of worry will not help you solve a problem and may even prevent you from doing your part to solve it.

Worrying is not just beside the point it is counterproductive.

I think you will have to be stern with yourself. I have an inner drill instructor who gives me a much needed kick in the you know what when I get too hysterical emotionally.

It’s hard, it’s like trying to keep an overexcited horse under control, but it gets better with practice.
 
Search,

I used to have uncontrollable anxiety (I have severe Bipolar Disorder), too. But, I am in psychotherapy and I’m on a drug regimen which keeps me stable. I have no side-effects from my medications.

By not seeking help you are only allowing your symptoms run your life.

That’s tragic. Please give yourself a chance to heal. You need not hurt any longer.
 
Searchofhope said:
I’m a … school teacher
Click to expand...
Here’s your problem. Just kidding. I was a special education teacher for 15 years before transitioning into teaching master’s students at a university. K-12 is a rough business and can be very stressful.

Follow 1ke’s and staurtbrianhenlis’s advice about getting professional counseling. Actually, you will need a psychiatrist. Perhaps a low dose of anti-anxiety medicine would be a life-changer for you. You’d have to discuss this with your psychiatrist. See if your general practitioner can refer you to a psychiatrist. DO NOT let your GP prescribe you an anti-anxiety medicine. That is ethically questionable as they are not trained to do that. Like stuartbrianhenlis, I suffer from Type 2 Bipolar Disorder (don’t know if Stuart has Type 1 or Type 2 BP disorder, though) and anxiety disorder. I have to take anti-anxiety medicine to leave the house. What you describe sounds like an anxiety. The mild OCD might be something you can live with.

Also, pray. It never hurts to pray about things!
 
Thank you for your answer. To be honest, I go to the Catholic Church but I’m not exactly Catholic. I am baptised and attend mass and take the Holy Blood and Body of Jesus, but I don’t believe in praying to saints and similar things which are not clearly stated in the Bible. I don’t really remember a time when I did not have such worries, sometimes they are just milder, sometimes they are stronger.
I think visualization of not having worries and what we can gain when we don’t give in to worries is very helpful as it deprives us from many positive experiences and feelings and we should not allow it to happen. Habit is really very important too, many things in our life can be changed by the changing of habits, I believe that. Many times I think of other people who starve and suffer from a lot more serious diseases and I feel very grateful to God, anyway I feel grateful daily for several things that He has blessed me with and when I can feel His love.
 
Thank you for your answer. I’m generally too afraid of taking any medication, so I haven’t even tried, but it would be probably a good idea to ask a doctor if I would need some and what kind. It’s nice to hear that you are keeping well with the drugs and the psychotherapy!
 
You are not totally wrong. The kids (special education me too) 🙂 get on my nerves quite many times, there are really severe groups, but thankfully there are very kind, loving students too who keep me going in this profession. I do it also for the holidays, honestly. It’s very stressful but I can’t leave it as it’s a stable job with a lot of freetime to work on other things. Thank you for suggesting, I will definitely consider asking a psychiatrist about my situation. I have experienced too GPs prescribing anti-anxiety medicine and I guess they have not much idea about what they are doing. I pray several times a day and God helps me a lot I think. Trying to have my students get to know Jesus too and that gives me some meaningful goal in my work which sometimes seems meaningless and without any improvement in kids.
 
I agree that the key is keeping in mind what I can control and what I can"t. It’s necessary to consider these two and exactly worrying has a hindering and not a helping effect. I believe in discipline too a lot, I guess you meant that when you said I have to be stern with myself, I’m trying to keep myself under control and ask Jesus always to keep my emotions objective so I don’t get lost in subjectivity as it can be dangerous when I should act and I can’t because of my emotions. I will practice it and pray and I hope it will get better. I needed to talk about it now and it helped that you all listened to me and supported me, thank you!
 
You’re welcome.

Please pray for me too as I struggle with the same issues you do. 😊
 
Of course I will pray for you, you really helped a lot. Happy New Year and God bless you. 🙂 Take care.
 
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