Overprotective family woes

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Crescentinus

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I do not know what to do anymore.
I have a family of overprotective women (I do not know where in Hades is my father) and I am getting sick and tired of it. I can’t do anything unless I tell them. To make things worse, they HATE almost all my hobbies.
I do not know what to do anymore.
 
It’s hard to make any comment without knowing how old you are, if you live with family or on your own, are supporting yourself, etc.
 
If you live in a house full of over-protective / overbearing women, move out. You can’t change them, so focus on what you can change, and then do that.
 
maryjk said:
And you are still living at home. As I said, that makes you answerable to those that support you.

If you want to be answerable to yourself, support yourself. 🤷
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I’m 24 unemployed and can’t afford school so I can fully attest to saying that is way easier said than done. Especially living in northern illinois. Thanks Obama!
 
Never forget, in life, he who pays the bills, calls the shotsIf you are serious about this and not just bitching, you have to go out on your own. It isn’t easy, but then life away from home isn’t a bed of roses eitiher.
You could always go into the Military and continue your education under the GI Bill. That would make you self sufficient and answerable only to yourself (and your military superiors of course)
Otherwise, grit your teeth and avoid conflict as much as possible. And, once you finish school, get out on your own as fast as possible! All too often, young men go from one set of apron strings to another without the benefit of growing up… a sure receipe for personal as well as spiritual disaster!
I think I should know because I have been on my own since I was 15 years old, got my own education (2 Masters Degrees), and raised 3 sons, all of whom are very successful professionals.
 
The Pearl of the Orient…Hong Kong? The Philippines? 😉

You will get an American perspective here, so unless you are an American (or a western European) advice does not really apply to your case I think. Family relations and obligations are quite different in Asia from those in the US. Maybe someone from your or a similar culture can help?
 
Contra_Mundum said:
The Pearl of the Orient…Hong Kong? The Philippines? 😉

You will get an American perspective here, so unless you are an American (or a western European) advice does not really apply to your case I think. Family relations and obligations are quite different in Asia from those in the US. Maybe someone from your or a similar culture can help?
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The Philippines. 🙂

Please do. o:
I’m not a Westerner. o:
 
Crescentinus said:
The Philippines. 🙂

Please do. o:
I’m not a Westerner. o:
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Well, I come from central Europe and family dynamic in my culture can be a bit intense :o People put up with all sorts of things but are also willing to do all sorts of things for family. (Being financially independent doesn’t mean much, relationships are not defined by that.)

Is there a reason why your family is concerned about what you do and dislike your hobbies? Do they think they are dangerous or that you are just wasting time? Are you fulfilling your duties otherwise? You said that your father is not in the picture. My guess (as a mother) is that they want to protect you from the bad world out there and make sure you are on the right track. Raising a young man without a father is challenging. Do you think this could be the case?
 
George_Stegmeir said:
Never forget, in life, he who pays the bills, calls the shotsIf you are serious about this and not just bitching, you have to go out on your own. It isn’t easy, but then life away from home isn’t a bed of roses eitiher.
Otherwise, grit your teeth and avoid conflict as much as possible. And, once you finish school, get out on your own as fast as possible! All too often, young men go from one set of apron strings to another without the benefit of growing up… a sure receipe for personal as well as spiritual disaster!
.
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These are your options. There is no “magic bullet” or “magic solution.”
 
Contra_Mundum said:
Well, I come from central Europe and family dynamic in my culture can be a bit intense :o People put up with all sorts of things but are also willing to do all sorts of things for family. (Being financially independent doesn’t mean much, relationships are not defined by that.)

Is there a reason why your family is concerned about what you do and dislike your hobbies? Do they think they are dangerous or that you are just wasting time? Are you fulfilling your duties otherwise? You said that your father is not in the picture. My guess (as a mother) is that they want to protect you from the bad world out there and make sure you are on the right track. Raising a young man without a father is challenging. Do you think this could be the case?
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Let’s see:
  1. They strongly dislike cosplaying since they see it as a waste of time.
  2. They don’t like video games that much.
  3. My mom wants me to watch her mainstream American shows.
  4. I’ve never seen my father.
  5. I want to hang around with sane dudes more.
 
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