Overwhelmed by lustful desire to self satisfy

[thomasjefferson]

Hi all, I’m really struggling here and didn’t know where to turn for help. I’m married with 3 kids, generally happy and have a loving relationship with my wife. I’ve managed to stay away from this particular sin for over a year for which I feel really proud of myself. However, I am overcome with sexual desire today and have come very close to slipping back to my old shameful habit. In these times I normally try and turn my sexual desire to my wife but without going into detail, she is not in the right place to help me with that right now!

I am working from home and am struggling to focus on work because of this. An Italian priest once told me to ask St. Maria Goretti for prayer which I have done but I’m still struggling with temptation.

Can anyone suggest how to help? Unfortunately I can’t “go do something else” because I should be working

 

[jvickers]

My thoughts, for what they are worth…

First, strongly consider talking to your priest for spiritual assistance. Second, when you have these urges, whatever they might be, turn to prayer. I find the Serenity Prayer is short and helps me a great deal. I am sure you have your favorites, so try turning to them in times of need.

I am currently reading The Choice Wine by Steve Bollman. It is an excellent book on steps to an abundant marriage. He has an entire couple’s help series. I’ve not gotten it. I thought I’d read the book first. I got it from an Amazon reseller for something like $4.00 plus shipping. Steve has very practical advice for making your marriage superabundant.

If your wife is in a bad place, try to support her as best you can. We all have sexual urges - it’s only normal. However, your first priority should be on your number one and not self-satisfaction (sorry to sound as if I’m taking the higher moral ground).

Be patient. Try your best to resist temptation. That is the adversary at work. Turn to your prayer and faith life to overcome these things.

Just my thoughts…

Edit: Oh, and try a lot of pushups .

 

[thomasjefferson]

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply. I think just knowing that there are other brothers and sisters out there facing the same battle and rooting for me has helped

Thank you for the book recommendation, that sounds like something I would gain a lot from reading. My wife and I are very happy but with three young children it’s easy to neglect each other completely by accident/overlooking one another’s needs.

I have tried focusing on prayer as you suggested age I think it has just opened my mind to God to see another view. I decided to come into the office which I think was a good idea to cut out temptation. I always remember I think it was St Paul’s advice but to try to face down temptation as we will likely fall, but to run away instead. I do believe God always provides a fire escape for us!

Thanks again for taking the time to reply, you have helped me and I am grateful. I’ll pray for you ray:t2:

God bless

EDIT: sorry it’s badly written… done on the hoof on my phone

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Can someone please move this thread over to Family Life? Not really a Casual Discussion topic.
Thanks!

 

[Retsel]

Making an assumption…

Objectification of woman and lust thereof comes from imagery your eyes collect. You can replace those bad person sales pitches with good imagery.

Once or twice a day, collect your wife’s face into your hands and really look at her. Three seconds will do.

Soon you will begin to see the real person your are married to, and I don’t mean just the image of her face, but also her womanhood and strength.

Also, keep EWTN handy on your streaming tv, phone or internet. When a random urge hits, switch to it and watch, listen or read. Bad images will quickly disappear.

PS, Install a filter/blocker on all devices.

 

[thomasjefferson]

absolutely right thank you… I know you are right now, but so hard to see it at the difficult times… it’s like a fog descending over you… as I’m sure you and just about every other human being are aware! Such a great feeling to overcome it though, for Jesus sake

 

[thomasjefferson]

that’s a great idea I will try that… yes you are right I do collect those images. I have found benefit in what someone on here once said which is that if you find it too hard to look away, focus on the person’s face and not their body… the idea being its pretty hard to lust after someone’s face.

I do wish the fairer sex were kinder to us gentlemen though, and perhaps dressed more modestly :man_shrugging:t2: but hey I guess this is 2019 and the enemy is in control. so we have to be on our guard…

 

[Retsel]

I guess this is 2019 and the enemy is in control

Everything was made new by Jesus. The enemy was put back in his box, once again giving us free will and choice! Slaves no more.

I do wish the fairer sex were kinder to us gentlemen though, and perhaps dressed more modestly

If we men stop running away from the role God created us for…, they will!