R
Redrose13
Guest
I met a guy in a catholic dating app early this year around 1st week of March. We’ve exchanged FB accounts and eventually, he pursued me. Our vocation to marriage somehow deepen our desires to get to know each other well. I don’t know why he was so in a hurry that time that he wanted me to be his gf when we’ve just knew each other for a couple of days. So, I gave it a chance but there are still walls. Whenever he asks personal questions I dare not to tell the truth. Coz I was afraid that he won’t be able to accept my past.
As we chat everyday, my feelings grew for him quickly and eventually, he became my bf. We were in a long distance relationship. He lives in California and I live in the Philippines So, we lasted for about a week due to unresolved conflicts, trust issues and other miscommunication and misunderstandings. But I am guilty that I broke his trust coz i lied several times and I was trying to patch things up. But the truth prevails and I believe that I hurt him that much. After the break up we decided to became friends. But there were times that I tried to bring back our relationship but it didn’t work.
We split up on black Saturday and the irony of Easter really knocked me down. Almost two months had passed when we chose to be friends and it’s getting unhealthy for me. First, he was the guy who took me out of my dark past and redirected my path to God. My Catholic faith totally became on fire in seeking the truth. Second, he taught me to be strong and to have a strong mindset in achieving my goals in life. And that changed my perspectives and mindset too in a positive way. In short, he made a great impact in my life that it’s hard for me to let him go.
Being friends with him felt like I was in a thread still connected to him. And the feelings, I can’t deny I still love him. There were hopes and dreams that maybe someday we’ll be back together but per our conversations those dreams turned into a nightmare. So that was an eye opener to me that I really need to move forward with my life. Coz if I continue befriending my ex, I will just allow myself to suffer more bringing ressurected feelings with me. So 2 days ago I decided to really cut the ties with him.
I told him to cut our comms coz it’s not healthy for me. But he was saying that I was his only friend, etc. Honestly, it was hard for me to leave him in a state that he’s a step closer to achieve his dream coz he will continue college this June. I helped him daily to encourage and motivate him to work on his project that will be his future. And it hurts even more that I was tied to a friendship that is beneficial for him but will hurt me more.
Now, I’m trying to move on with my decision of leaving him behind and go separate ways. But there’s still a guilt feelings of abandoning a friend. I need your advice on how I can deal with loss and grief.
Thanks and God bless!
As we chat everyday, my feelings grew for him quickly and eventually, he became my bf. We were in a long distance relationship. He lives in California and I live in the Philippines So, we lasted for about a week due to unresolved conflicts, trust issues and other miscommunication and misunderstandings. But I am guilty that I broke his trust coz i lied several times and I was trying to patch things up. But the truth prevails and I believe that I hurt him that much. After the break up we decided to became friends. But there were times that I tried to bring back our relationship but it didn’t work.
We split up on black Saturday and the irony of Easter really knocked me down. Almost two months had passed when we chose to be friends and it’s getting unhealthy for me. First, he was the guy who took me out of my dark past and redirected my path to God. My Catholic faith totally became on fire in seeking the truth. Second, he taught me to be strong and to have a strong mindset in achieving my goals in life. And that changed my perspectives and mindset too in a positive way. In short, he made a great impact in my life that it’s hard for me to let him go.
Being friends with him felt like I was in a thread still connected to him. And the feelings, I can’t deny I still love him. There were hopes and dreams that maybe someday we’ll be back together but per our conversations those dreams turned into a nightmare. So that was an eye opener to me that I really need to move forward with my life. Coz if I continue befriending my ex, I will just allow myself to suffer more bringing ressurected feelings with me. So 2 days ago I decided to really cut the ties with him.
I told him to cut our comms coz it’s not healthy for me. But he was saying that I was his only friend, etc. Honestly, it was hard for me to leave him in a state that he’s a step closer to achieve his dream coz he will continue college this June. I helped him daily to encourage and motivate him to work on his project that will be his future. And it hurts even more that I was tied to a friendship that is beneficial for him but will hurt me more.
Now, I’m trying to move on with my decision of leaving him behind and go separate ways. But there’s still a guilt feelings of abandoning a friend. I need your advice on how I can deal with loss and grief.
Thanks and God bless!
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