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Xantippe
Guest
Do people have bar codes or something that makes this all instantly visible?
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C
Cruciferi
Guest
Awkward 
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Norseman82
Guest
No, but it could come up if they are in the same social circle (or posted on the internet for the world to know).
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Xantippe
Guest
I think it’s a really bad idea to be telling the whole world about what one has or hasn’t been doing with one’s genitals.
I know the very young have a tendency to overshare, but hopefully people who are grownup enough to get married are more discreet.
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BoomBoomMancini
Guest
He’s going to need to kill them and drink their blood to gain their virginal essence, thus transforming himself into SuperVirgin.
Joking aside, I honestly think this is something not to worry about too much. As pianistclare said, this isn’t something you unveil on a first date. “So…you’re from Cleveland? Cool. I’ve had sex with dozens of people.” By the time this conversation is going to come up, you should be in an established relationship. And then, just be honest. Say you were unchaste in the past, you don’t do that anymore, and you’re now committed to waiting. The vast majority of girls will be fine with that. Answer her questions honestly, but don’t volunteer too many details she isn’t asking for.
As you get older and mature, you realize that everyone has a past and has made mistakes. We’re all “damaged goods” so to speak. What’s important is how you act in your relationship with her, not what you did before you even met her.
Also, not to be a bummer, but you should get tested for STIs so you don’t pass anything on to your future wife.
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Well I went for the girl, got the girl, and married the girl. And now it’s a non issue.
To the OP: This could well be an issue that causes a lot of hurt for a while. But believe me when I say that if a woman is really in love with you this will eventually become an issue that is consigned to the past where it belongs.
My wife had a hard time with this until we were actually doing marriage prep. One of out classes was with a young enough married couple and they had had the exact same issue. Guy was away from the faith, did some stuff and then came back to the faith. Woman was a virgin and had trouble dealing with it.
Their advice was that it will make no difference in marriage and that the sexual bond in marriage is non-comparable to anything else.
Also marital sex can be a healing experience. You know in marriage that this person is tied to you for life and there is nobody else that can come between that.
To put it briefly: If she loves you and you love her she’ll get over it.
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