'Paying' to have your loved ones remembered?

  • Thread starter Thread starter whatevergirl
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
W

whatevergirl

Guest
I received today in an email, from a popular, Catholic tv host who will be nameless for this discussion, a link to her website to submit names of my loved ones, etc…for prayer intentions for tomorrow’s All Souls Day mass. Ok, so I thought this was great, and I filled in the names, and pressed ‘submit.’ A page appeared with a statement…"We prayerfully request that you consider offering a stupidend for this intention.’’ (in increments of $50?) LOL :eek: Huh? So, can I assume from that statement that if I choose to not send a stipend, that my loved ones will not be mentioned in this mass?:o I just can’t help but think this is somehow wrong…what do you think? I understand that sometimes funerals, etc…one can offer a donation to the particular parish you belong to, for something along those lines. But, an online donation for a priest to mention my loved ones’ names in a mass? Where’s the money going to? The website doesn’t provide the name of the parish where the mass is to take place… I dunno, it seems wrong/greedy/opportunistic, actually, so I just clicked out of the link. We can pray to God…for free…I don’t need to pay in order for God to hear my prayer intentions. 😦

Thought I’d run it by you guys…what do you think?
 
There are some cloistered orders of brothers or sisters who spend all their life in prayer and they rely on donations to support themselves. If that’s not what it is, then it sounds a little odd to me.
 
It’s very common to offer a stipend for Masses. That wording, “consider” does not convey to me that they’re saying it’s “mandatory”. They should have an option to donate whatever you want, and maybe you should e-mail them and let them know how it came across to you. I get tons of charity mail, and there are some suggested donations that you can check (and usually the one in the middle is circled with a “This amount would really help!” next to it), but you don’t have to give that amount. Asking for a $50 donation seems a little pricey to me, but even my parish church asks for stipends for Masses said for someone. Don’t worry about it 🙂
 
Our pastor was very careful to explain that offerings for Masses were accepted, but not mandatory. As he put it, you cannot buy sacred things. He assured everyone that whether you put any money in the All Souls envelope or not he would pray for all of the names on the envelopes.

Marsha
 
I agree with JimO. I am aware of a a cloistered order I support. I am not “paying” for prayers. I am supporting the needs of those who devote their lives to prayer. In a similar way I support the needs of an order devoted to driver safety - the Good Lord knows just how much we need this in post-Katrina south Louisiana!
 
brotherhrolf said:
I agree with JimO. I am aware of a a cloistered order I support. I am not “paying” for prayers. I am supporting the needs of those who devote their lives to prayer. In a similar way I support the needs of an order devoted to driver safety - the Good Lord knows just how much we need this in post-Katrina south Louisiana!
Click to expand...
Thank you for your replies, everyone. This is not a cloistered order…this is a tv host (Catholic) who is asking for donations for prayer intentions given by the priest who typically appears on her show. I wholeheartedly believe in charity and generosity and to support our Cathlic parishes…but, there is something that strikes me as wrong to have the starting amount be $50 and it goes up to $300 for asking a priest to simply utter our loved ones name aloud. It just doesn’t seem right. We can agree to disagree I suppose, but there is no reason to send money online…not knowing where the money is going to…I have a feeling that the money is going to the host’s ministry, and again…why should I donate money to her ministry, for a mass given in the name of my loved ones? My loved ones’ deaths have nothing to do with her ministry…so, I’m not seeing why she has this link on her website. If nothing else, it is tacky. She has a separate link for donations…I mean…don’t ask for donations on behalf of praying for loved ones. That’s my problem with it. I am not donating, so I guess I’ll just leave it at that.

I don’t believe that local suburban parishes should accept money for such things either, frankly.

I mean…when someone asks you to pray for them, do you tell them to make the check payable to…?? LOL AAhhh well…I love the Church, but this could stand to change.
 
As one of the posters stated…this is a request, true, but it does leave one feeling that gee, if I don’t send money…I guess my loved ones won’t be mentioned? That’s just not right!!!:o :o :o
 
Speaking only for myself, I had no qualms whatsoever about about buying a set of Grogorian Masses, from CNEWA, for my deceased Father, as part of the healing process. The money goes to support overseas missions.

cnewa.org/generalpg-verus.aspx?pageID=191

And $150 can go a long way overseas:thumbsup:
 
We do donation envelopes at our parish for All Souls’ Day - we put them in a basket up by the Altar, with the names of the dead written on them.

We also have a Book of the Dead.

I wouldn’t do this by internet, just because you have no idea, as you said, where the Mass is being said - in our case, you take the donation envelope to the Mass, yourself.
 
Don’t most dioceses have a limit on stipend amounts of $10?
 
Hi,

Thought you’d like to know, in my Diocese, the maximum stipend allowed for a Mass is $10 and a priest may only take one stipend per day. Even so, a stipend is NOT required to have a mass said for any intention, that of someone living or for the deceased.

Reading between the lines (pretty obvious who you mean), I went to the website you refer to and put in my mom’s name to have prayers said for her, just so I could see what you mean. I agree, it looks weird. I even went ahead and deselected a donation and hit submit and all I got was “your shopping cart is empty”, certainly doesn’t leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling that my mom might be prayed for.

So, while I tend to agree that she’s not always as prudent as she might be, especially when it comes to fund raising activities such as this, the concept of receiving stipends for Mass’s is not in and of itself an abuse. The priest gives his time to say Mass, this is something that requires his time. There’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to receive a small sacrifice of money from the person requesting the prayer, but it should always be a free-will offering.

God Bless,

CARose
 
Wouldn’t All Souls’ Day donations be different than Mass stipends, anyway?

Since for a Mass stipend, they are only praying for that one person, but on All Souls’ Day, they are praying for all of the dead in Purgatory - no? :confused:
 
CARose said:
Hi,

Thought you’d like to know, in my Diocese, the maximum stipend allowed for a Mass is $10 and a priest may only take one stipend per day. Even so, a stipend is NOT required to have a mass said for any intention, that of someone living or for the deceased.

Reading between the lines (pretty obvious who you mean), I went to the website you refer to and put in my mom’s name to have prayers said for her, just so I could see what you mean. I agree, it looks weird. I even went ahead and deselected a donation and hit submit and all I got was “your shopping cart is empty”, certainly doesn’t leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling that my mom might be prayed for.

So, while I tend to agree that she’s not always as prudent as she might be, especially when it comes to fund raising activities such as this, the concept of receiving stipends for Mass’s is not in and of itself an abuse. The priest gives his time to say Mass, this is something that requires his time. There’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to receive a small sacrifice of money from the person requesting the prayer, but it should always be a free-will offering.

God Bless,

CARose
Click to expand...
aw, man and i tried to be discreet hee hee;) 😛 thanks for checking…and seeing exactly what i mean…eek…that just seems wrong…your shopping cart is empty? haha oh well… This is precisely why we have priests…all these spin off ministries…where people are selling books, coffee mugs, bla bla etc…based on their own ministry for Catholicism, has a Protestant ‘ring’ to it, to me. Nothing wrong with writing books like Scott Hahn, but if he ever starts selling coffee mugs, I will think differently. 😛 But, that’s another ball of wax for another thread. LOL

Oh well…thanks for seeing what I was trying to say!!🙂
 
whatevergirl said:
aw, man and i tried to be discreet hee hee;) 😛 thanks for checking…and seeing exactly what i mean…eek…that just seems wrong…your shopping cart is empty? haha oh well…i like her and all, think she is a wonderful person but i also feel her to be somewhat opportunistic. Oh well…thanks for seeing what I was trying to say!!🙂
Click to expand...
 
whatevergirl said:
This is precisely why we have priests…all these spin off ministries…where people are selling books, coffee mugs, bla bla etc…based on their own ministry for Catholicism, has a Protestant ‘ring’ to it, to me. Nothing wrong with writing books like Scott Hahn, but if he ever starts selling coffee mugs, I will think differently. 😛 But, that’s another ball of wax for another thread. LOL
Click to expand...
This is exactly why lay ministries need to be volunteer-based “tent-maker” (have a paying day job to cover your bills) ministries - I also keep getting begging letters from “full-time Catholic apologists” - “Good Lord man, get a job” I keep wanting to say, “You have children to feed; you need something that has medical benefits and a pension plan” - but I never do - well, I did that once, and got an earful - but, yeah, there’s a reason we delegate ministry to priests, and why priests are celibate - they can afford these kind of risks.

Scott Hahn has a day job (he’s a professor at Franciscan University), so you’ll never see him sending begging letters to support his ministry, or branching out into “holy coffee cups” or anything like that. 😛

He’s a man of great integrity, and I admire him very much.
 
jmcrae said:
This is exactly why lay ministries need to be volunteer-based “tent-maker” (have a paying day job to cover your bills) ministries - I also keep getting begging letters from “full-time Catholic apologists” - “Good Lord man, get a job” I keep wanting to say, “You have children to feed; you need something that has medical benefits and a pension plan” - but I never do - well, I did that once, and got an earful - but, yeah, there’s a reason we delegate ministry to priests, and why priests are celibate - they can afford these kind of risks.

Scott Hahn has a day job (he’s a professor at Franciscan University), so you’ll never see him sending begging letters to support his ministry, or branching out into “holy coffee cups” or anything like that. 😛

He’s a man of great integrity, and I admire him very much.
Click to expand...
Yes–absolutely. Totally agree…You’re right, he has a day job. You know, this particular tv personality has a ‘day job’ too which is her television show on EWTN. Ok…so if you want to start your own ministry…that’s great, but don’t be an opportunist. It looks bad…if you are interested in preaching to women, why is it necessary to do so at a lavish hotel (which her presentations/seminars take place in) ? Ya know? So, is that where one’s ‘donations’ are going? To your lavish weekend at a hotel somewhere to preach about God? I’m sorry…again, I’m not judging her as a person–not my place. I’m discerning that this is not a good place to send one’s money. God expects us to discern, and I think that EWTN should be careful to allow lay people to branch out into their own ministries, and use their NON PROFIT station as an advertising outlet. Oh well…onward upward…thanks for your thoughts!
 
Our November Novena of Masses for your deceased loved ones will be held** throughout** the month of November.
Click to expand...
I checked out the site, and noted that it is not simply a single mass, but multiple masses throughout the month. By default, the checkmark is on the $25 offering, although there are larger increments. This seems very reasonable to me, in light of the full month being prayed.
If someone offers a stipend of $10 in my parish, it is typically for All Souls Day masses.
 
if you are interested in preaching to women, why is it necessary to do so at a lavish hotel (which her presentations/seminars take place in) ?
Click to expand...
Many of these places are able to offer a reasonable rental fee to use their rooms, because their main source of income is not these rentals. We have scheduled events in our town at the Holiday Inn, simply because there are very few other places that have rentals … and it is truly a bargain price.

Not only that, a place is selected for its accomodation to food so that these folks will not have to leave the building and eat out. Again, the price may be a package deal that is cheaper than other sites. Many times a place is chosen also for its centrality, travel expressways, ease of parking, etc. It is unwise to judge until all of the facts are known.
 
I think it is usual and customary for some (if not many) churches to charge for mass intentions. To have a mass said for a specific individual in our area, it costs $200. That is in downtown DC and in suburban Maryland.

They do not usually charge anything if they are mentioning parishioners as a regular part of the mass. BUT if you go to the office and say I want a mass said for my parent/relative/ or friend, that is a $200 fee, even if it will be mentioned in a regularly schedule mass (which will most likely be the case… they almost never schedule a special mass outside of the normal schedule)

SO yes, $50 sounds expensive, but compared to $200, it is a bargain. And it is Biblically sound as well, Macabees has a Hebrew officer telling someone to go to Jerusalem to pay for prayers for fallen soldiers. That is why Protestants removed that book from the Bible. It clearly legitimizes payment for prayers for the dead.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top