PennitentMan's Saga, phase II

[kage_ar]

Plan here - suggest yet ANOTHER book, you will be so busy reading that you won’t have time for anything else

Your first post on this thread, you kept talking about intimacy. A great book, written by a Catholic man, is “The Seven Levels of Intimacy” by Matthew Kelly. IMHO, all married couples should have this in the family library.

 

[Trudy_Whittaker]

Hi,

As married couples, we our desires are not always in sync, and we do need to be able to work out ways of living with this.

One of the agreements my husband and I came to is that we did not get married to say no to each other, so if one of us is interested, and the other is not, our chosen response is - “woo me” That is to say, I need help to get into the mood."

One problem that men have is that their sexuality is so visual/physical, they have a hard time making a romantic move that does not involve touch, yet a mother of a young child does get an overdose of touch!

We ladies like narrative - and we need verbal appreciation. Mommys need conversation. Try getting into conversations about stuff that you did while dating.

Whenever you express your physical desire, always relate it to her - talk nabout how much you appreciate her - let her know that she is the one you desire, that your love for her causes this yearning within you.

This is important, as the world depicts male sexuality in the wrong way, and we ladies need to hear that your desire is rightly ordered.

I’ll keep you both in my prayers.

 

[BEattitude]

I realize that I will be criticized for saying that your wife really needs to be attentive to your needs. We all do things in a marriage that we dont particularly want to do. I also believe that once you are “into it” she will really enjoy where shes at. I think getting her in the mood is where I would focus my attention. I would also explain that this is the way you feel connected and intimate with your wife, its not used just for the physical aspect. My husband takes out the garbage every thursday, I know its -20 degrees and he hates doing it, but I do believe that makes it more meritorious. Trust me, a wife wants to please her man and wants him to take control of things. I really suggest having a converation on what makes her feel relaxed intimate and aroused (not just physically).
This conversation is not a pleasant one but it needs to happen for your sanity.
How would your wife feel if you suddenly stopped going to work because you didnt feel in the mood to go. Or how would your wife feel if you just stopped paying all the bills or stopped taking out the garbage… or fill in the blanks!! There is a million and one things you do for the sole reason that you love your wife and love your family regardless of how you feel at the moment. She will understand, just explain it like that. Good Luck.