People Asking Whether Relatives/Friends Are Going to Hell?

[Melodeonist]

The story goes something like this. I don’t want to accidentally lie here so I will say that this might not be totally accurate.

So I was telling my Mother that all I care is that when I die (hopefully way in the future) that I die in a state of Grace. My Mother asked about it and I said that you need to follow God’s commandments. My mother then proceeded to ask whether relatives who don’t necessarily follow all God’s commandments will go to Hell. I said I just don’t know.

This is a real stumper. What are you supposed to say in a situation like this?

 

[FollowChrist34]

Indeed. There may be some surprising no shows too, along the same lines. As they say, if Heaven is just the self-proclaimed Good Christians among us (all denominations, all time)…can you imagine.

I actually find it quite helpful as well as prudent not to assume anyone is saved or damned, including myself.

Though I also believe the die is cast - this has all (alpha and omega) freely played out already. Sometimes I think we each know deep down which way it goes with us, by a sort of revelation…but we don’t know about everyone else, except perhaps some loved ones.

 

[ChurchSoldier]

Of course we always want to ask if Jesus spoke about it. In this case he did. John 3:35 "The Father loves the Son and has placed all things in His hands. 36Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life. Whoever rejects the Son will not see life. Instead, the wrath of God remains on him.”

That said, sometimes it is how we respond rather than what we respond. Jesus used the analogy of being invited (in his case to a great feast). I would ask the person, someone invites you to dinner over and over, and you keep saying no, is it the person who invited you’s(?) fault that you won’t experience the wonderful meal?

The same analogy using vacation property, or someone’s home, or an event…

The concept being, if someone invited you and paid your way, is it their fault if you don’t accept their offer and don’t receive the benefit of what they offered?

Thanks for asking.

 

[pianistclare]

The story goes something like this. I don’t want to accidentally lie here so I will say that this might not be totally accurate.

So I was telling my Mother that all I care is that when I die (hopefully way in the future) that I die in a state of Grace. My Mother asked about it and I said that you need to follow God’s commandments. My mother then proceeded to ask whether relatives who don’t necessarily follow all God’s commandments will go to Hell. I said I just don’t know.

This is a real stumper. What are you supposed to say in a situation like this?

Of course you don’t know. You said the right thing.
Read the catechism and be prepared for questions from people who want good info on Catholicism. Don’t speculate, learn.

 

[ChurchSoldier]

You did say the right thing for the moment, but you also have an opportunity (obligation) to learn about your faith and have an answer for next time. In reality, people use the “we don’t know the condition of anyone’s soul…” as a technique to avoid criticism as often as a pastoral response.

Look what the first Pope said (from 1Peter3):
*13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is right? 14 But even if you do suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts reverence Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence; 16 and keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are abused, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 17 For it is better to suffer for doing right, if that should be God’s will, than for doing wrong. 18 For Christ also died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit; 19 in which he went and preached to the spirits in prison, 20 who formerly did not obey, when God’s patience waited in the days of Noah, during the building of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were saved through water. 21 Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a clear conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22 who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers subject to him.

The reason most people would not want to answer is concern (read fear) over social awkwardness or criticism. But the Pope who walked with Jesus said we need to be knowledgable and courageous enough to “give a defense” of the hope that is within us. Without regard to criticism or consequence.

The biggest criticism of Christians is that we don’t live our faith. Well if we, who claim to live in the beliefs of Christ aren’t going to proclaim it when asked, who will?

Pax

P.s. To your original post: We don’t get into heaven by following the Commandments, but how we live them out is a reflection of the faith that is within us.*

 

[GLam8833]

As PianistClare said you don’t know, all you
can say is that HOPEFULLY their Faith did
not fail them before they died(2 Tim. 2:12-13)
Our Covenant w/ God is based on the Sacri-
fice of Jesus on the Cross in His Passion,
just as long as we don’t Deny Him before we
die,(2 Tim. 2:12) He IS ABLE to save us from
hell.(John 10:28-29) And we can PRAY for them
and offer sacrifices for them so that they will
sooner attain the Beatific Vision. Also, they are
called the Holy Souls b/c they can sin no more
AND they can pray for US!!

 

[Melodeonist]

Thanks for the replies! I usually try to avoid getting into situations like this but sometimes they are unavoidable.

 

[PJM]

The story goes something like this. I don’t want to accidentally lie here so I will say that this might not be totally accurate.

So I was telling my Mother that all I care is that when I die (hopefully way in the future) that I die in a state of Grace. My Mother asked about it and I said that you need to follow God’s commandments. My mother then proceeded to ask whether relatives who don’t necessarily follow all God’s commandments will go to Hell. I said I just don’t know.

This is a real stumper. What are you supposed to say in a situation like this?

May I suggest that a good reply is that we are not to Judge. Then point out that God makes it possible for everyone through at least the offer of SUFFICIENT grace for all to know, then choose to love and serve God.

Actions do have consequences, and we will be Judged by God, not simply on our choices, even though that is a critical element; rather it will be on what GOD has made possible for each of us to know accept and live.

So those who deserve to be saved will be, those who choose not to be will not be

God Bless you

Partick

 

[TheAmazingGrace]

The story goes something like this. I don’t want to accidentally lie here so I will say that this might not be totally accurate.

So I was telling my Mother that all I care is that when I die (hopefully way in the future) that I die in a state of Grace. My Mother asked about it and I said that you need to follow God’s commandments. My mother then proceeded to ask whether relatives who don’t necessarily follow all God’s commandments will go to Hell. I said I just don’t know.

This is a real stumper. What are you supposed to say in a situation like this?

“Only God knows where any of us go, Mom.”