People poverty

[ela2]

Has anyone experienced or is going through ‘people poverty’? (That’s what I call it).

Lately I have lost the few good friends I had to various unfortunate situations. I don’t have connection with my extended family and my in-laws are well…let’s say ‘very special’. So that leaves us with no one and it is so hard to make friends especially when we speak different languages.

Sigh…

 

[UbiCaritas]

Has anyone experienced or is going through ‘people poverty’? (That’s what I call it).

Lately I have lost the few good friends I had to various unfortunate situations. I don’t have connection with my extended family and my in-laws are well…let’s say ‘very special’. So that leaves us with no one and it is so hard to make friends especially when we speak different languages.

Sigh…

I did after I got married and had DD. Because of DH’s job, I moved 4 hours from where I’d lived all my adult life. The first year was lonely, but not too bad: I had the house to set up, the local area to get to know, and I got pregnant 6 months after the wedding and had the baby to plan for and so on. What made it really bad was once DD arrived. I couldn’t really go out anymore, so I was stuck at home. I couldn’t do any of the things I used to find enjoyable (shopping, sewing, reading, crafting, cooking, etc) because of DD, and this also meant that I didn’t even get the minimal interaction one gets with a store clerk. I literally knew no other mom in the area, and I didn’t have any girlfriends locally, either. Honestly, that was just about the worst 6-8 months of my life.

Are there any moms’ groups or clubs in your native language near where you are? How good are you at the local language–could you get by in a LLL meeting? If you’re in Europe, English is a very common second language there; I’d be surprised if there wasn’t at least one mom at a LLL meeting who didn’t speak at least enough English to be conversational.

 

[Casilda]

I belong to two volunteer groups, one I have been going to almost 10yrs, and the ladies are very close, helping each other out with driving to Dr appts and cooking meals for each other.

 

[Xantippe]

Has anyone experienced or is going through ‘people poverty’? (That’s what I call it).

Lately I have lost the few good friends I had to various unfortunate situations. I don’t have connection with my extended family and my in-laws are well…let’s say ‘very special’. So that leaves us with no one and it is so hard to make friends especially when we speak different languages.

Sigh…

Oh, yes, over and over again, do to moves and life changes.

I’ve only recently (and I’m 39) realized that building friendships and a social life are pretty much a lifelong responsibility.

I was doing REALLY good about two years ago, as I had two close local friends that both had active social circles and we had babies at around the same time–it was AMAZING. However, one of my two close local friends has moved out of state and the other is making noises about doing the same in future, so I’ve lost nearly half of my social life, and may lose nearly another half.

I do have some ideas, though:

–going to the book club that I’ve gone to occasionally
–running Dave Ramsey’s FPU (if the pastor approves it)
–doing more school volunteering
–taking a class
–our youngest is going to pre-K in 2+ years, which I know will present many opportunities
–going back to work in 2+ years

Doing any one of those things will bring more people into my life and doing two will probably bring as many as I can manage.

So, I know more or less what to do, but it won’t happen right away or without effort by me.

 

[Bataar]

I know the feeling. Other than my mom and my brother, I really don’t have anyone in my life that I interact with. I’ve never been good at making friends and I’ve never had any kind of romantic relationships so I’ve been in this position most of my life.

 

[Della]

I live bascially like a hermit. My dh is my only real friend/companion. I don’t drive, so I can’t go to a lot of functions and I’m an introvert. But, for me, that’s all okay. I could easily have lived alone if I hadn’t met someone to marry. Having to deal with others makes me crazy. Communicating online is great for me–even there I’m not on FB or any other social media except a very few selected websites like CAF. But then, this is all natural for me and I realize I’m pretty much the odd man out, so to say. I’ve never needed others to be content. Indeed, interacting with people is almost painful for me. I go shopping with dh and to Mass and that’s about it, except for a very occasional outing to a KofC function or family get together. I don’t find it limiting or lonely at all. I’m a writer, so it’s really a good thing for me, I guess.