People with 6+ kids - how do you manage living arrangements at home?

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Benjinho

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I’ll be getting married to my fiancee in the next 6-10 months and we are planning on having as many kids as God gives us. This may or may not be a lot.

So, for couples with 6 or more kids, how many bedrooms does your house have? And how do you manage the arrangements at home? I love the idea of a big family but am also a little intimidated too.
 
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Take this one baby at a time. Most couples don’t go from 0 to 6 overnight. On the other hand, my husband an I did. We adopted a sibling group of 6! We now have 8 and have fostered off and on over the years.

On the off chance that you follow in our footsteps, we had at the time a two bedroom apartment with a spare room that we moved into. We have the girls one bedroom and the boys the master bedroom. We bought a sleeper softer for ourselves and used that. We are military so we moved a lot while they were growing up. Some houses were larger than others but we noticed that extra space can sometimes be a curse instead of the blessing we had imagined. We found even if we had 5 bedrooms (at two posts they had five bedroom homes), our kids still preferred to sleep girls room, boys room, parents and have the other rooms for homework areas or play space. In a three bedroom home we just did homework at the table and played in the garage or living room. You just find what works wherever you end up being.

If your children arrive the traditional way, you will ease into whatever your particular situation needs and allows.

Congratulations on your family! Thank you for being open to life as God allows. Try to avoid any type of set plans in order to allow for adjustments. I pray you have a long, happy marriage
 
I was only one of 4. When we were young, we lived in a 2/1. Our parents and the baby had one room; the three of us older kids shared another room. (Bunkbed + foldable cot.) When the baby got older, we upgraded to 2 bunkbeds. When we got even older, we split up— girls’ room, boys’ room.

My MIL was one of eleven that survived. She was possibly the youngest, so by the time she was school-aged, many of her older siblings had already left the house. So, if you figure you have, say, 12 kids, and suppose each of them is about 2 years apart… by the time the baby is 2 years old, you only have eight kids left in the house full-time… one is 18; one is 20; one is 22; and one is 24; and those are presumably starting to transition into adult life, whether it’s through work, through college, through marriage, or whatever.

That’s assuming that things like twins/triplets/quads don’t run in either of your families. 😉

But the next time I see her, I can ask her how they did their bedrooms.
 
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A couple at our parish just had their 11th and 12th children, their second set of twins. Only 8 are at home still. It is good to keep in mind that families don’t all grow at the same speed, but chances are high if you have multiple children, some will be leaving the house as babies are coming into it.

Even with our 8, including six that are very close in age, our two youngest have never lived in the same home as the oldest two, and currently there are only two left in the house. Another one will be leaving next year.
 
Sleeping arrangements, meh…what I want to know is how do you keep all the toothbrushes straight? They don’t come in that many colors! 😂😂😂😂

JK, my dad was one of seven in a 3bedroom, 1 bath home. Boys (3) in one room and girls (4) in the other. Bathroom time was somewhat scheduled and hair fixing, makeup etc. was done at a dresser with mirror. Bathroom hogging was not allowed. My dad was number 6 and said he never remembers new clothes. Even his sox were hand me downs. They were poor but a very close family. You have to get along when that crowded. It’s a matter of survival!
 
Benjinho said:
how do you manage the arrangements at home?
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I was one of six kids. Mind you, all six of us were in the house for a grand total of only four years, since the eldest moved out when the youngest was 4. I remember sharing a room with my younger brother, and each of the older four shared; two boys, two girls. Meal times were a crowd around the table as, with mom and dad, there 8 of course. Mom had a woman come in to help with cleaning and stuff once a week. The older ones helped with dishes and laundry. I was the fifth of the six so my memories are not all that vivid now, but having six kids is not something I would ever have wanted myself. The expenses must have been astronomical and I wore patched and mended hand-me-downs for years.

My wife and I have three kids, all grown now. I couldn’t have handled any more than that.
 
One at a time. Even if you have a baby every other year, you’re talking 12 years until you have six. Not to mention that it is often harder to get pregnant than most people think.
 
bobperk said:
Not to mention that it is often harder to get pregnant than most people think.
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Most definitely! It took us over 20 years to have our first biological child. Imagine if we hadn’t started young.

The six we adopted are very close in age. They are all 11-18 months apart. So it’s possible to have a houseful for several years. We got them at 6 months-7 years old. That still is a pretty big gap from oldest leaving to youngest leaving though.
 
Dont depend on that! My grandma had the first four about a year apart then about two years for number six and seven so nine years and seven kids…she had to have a hysterectomy after the last one. Goodness only knows how many they would have had otherwise. Grandma was very sad to know she couldn’t have more. She did appreciate the older ones being able to help with the others when they became old enough and she did enroll my dad in kindergarten when he was only four…they found out at the end of the school year and he had to repeat it! He jokes that he failed kindergarten!
 
Pattylt said:
Sleeping arrangements, meh…what I want to know is how do you keep all the toothbrushes straight? They don’t come in that many colors! 😂😂😂😂
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This is actually a great question. For us, we had a travel covers and wrote their names on them. We stored the tooth brushes in their covers in the drawer or the mirror depending on the house we were in. Now with just two Littles to keep up with we buy one in one color, one in another. Problem is I’m old now and sometimes forget who uses which color! I am seriously considering going back to the other method.
 
As one of ten ,there was a boys room and a girls room,bunk beds 🙂 The older children had moved out of home well before the youngest was born.
Rooms were changed and added on as the years went by .It all worked out very well.
 
I’m one of 12 (soon to be 13). My family has 7 bedrooms. Most of these rooms have a bunk-bed and a couple have a spare single bed in addition to that.
 
Benjinho said:
I’ll be getting married to my fiancee in the next 6-10 months and we are planning on having as many kids as God gives us. This may or may not be a lot.

So, for couples with 6 or more kids, how many bedrooms does your house have? And how do you manage the arrangements at home? I love the idea of a big family but am also a little intimidated too.
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I am the oldest of 5 kids. My parents originally only had a house with 2.5 bedrooms. The smallest bedroom was considered a half size because it was really a sewing room. So my parents always used it as a the baby’s bedroom.

When their was just three of us, I eventually moved into that small room. Then, when my sister was born, I was moved in with my two brothers. We had a bunkbed and a third twin bed in an L formation. I (being the oldest) was on the top bunk.

Our house had a partly finished basement, so my dad started building me my own bedroom in the basement. Eventually I moved down there.

Then, before my second sister was born, my dad started building my brother a bedroom in the basement too. Then my youngest brother moved into the “sewing room” and my two sisters shared the larger bedroom.

My dad eventually added a 2nd bathroom onto the side of the house too. But that wasn’t completed until after I moved out for college.

So, really, it depends on age of children, sex breakdown, and available space.

But one thing I HIGHLY recommend is buying a house with a basement that could one day be finished or sectioned off. The fact that my parents had a basement with the same footprint of our house allowed them to essentially double the size of our house and double the number of bedrooms. And if needed, my dad could have created one or two more bedrooms down there.

So moral of the story… look for a house with a basement. And if you build a house, pay the little extra to get a basement built. If you have a lot of kids, a basement will come in very handy.

God Bless you and congrats on your upcoming marriage!
 
BTW - when my dad was a kid (he was born in 1951) he not only shared a bedroom with his brother, but shared a bed with his brother for many years. The were only 15 months apart, so they were the same size for a while - so it wasn’t too bad.

And my two aunts shared a bed too and they were approx 8 years apart.

However, twin beds are more affordable today, so you might not need to have the kids share beds, but if needed that’s always an option too.
 
I shared a bed with my sister even though there were just 2 of us.

The second bedroom was too small for two twins, but fine for a full sized bed.
 
I did not have 6 kids, but my mother’s family did and my father’s family had 5. They basically had Brady Bunch setups: 1 bedroom for mom and dad, 1 bedroom for the boys and 1 bedroom for the girls. They either all shared a bed or for the boys especially would have army cots and the like. The bedrooms were also tiny by today’s US standards and each house had only one bathroom. I don’t know how they managed it to be honest but it seemed to work in those days.
 
An aunty of mine had 11 children including 2 sets of twins. They ended up buying a portable 4 room donger (which is a basic rectangular building used to house miners on site or make additional classrooms in schools). They set it up against the back verandah and the older children used those for bedrooms. They only moved once from one small town to the other so were able to take the donger with them when they moved.
 
  1. You are correct that it may or may not be a lot. You really don’t know what your fertility and situation holds…
  2. My wife is due with our 7th in July. We will have 7 13 and under. 5 girls, 2 boys. I stay home and homeschool them. My wife works and has a well paying high level job. We have lived in 5 houses in this time. House 1 with first kid for about 8 months. 900 sq feet 2 bedroom.
    House 2. From kids 1-4. New construction, 1500 sq feet 3 bedrooms. 3 girls in 1 room with a seperate “baby” room for newborn.
    House 3. Moved accross country rental. 1400 sq feet 3 bedrooms, kids 4 and 5. all girls in 1 room, boy with his own. New baby with us until our next move.
    House 4. Rental back in hometown 1600 sq feet, 4 bedrooms. 5 kids. 3 girls in one room (the older) boy with own room, baby with own room.
    house 5. Purchased a new, large home. 3200 sq feet. 5 bedrooms two “masters” kids 6 and 7. 4 girls in 1 master. 1 baby room 1 boy room and an “office” or homeschool room.
    plenty of room for pretty much whatever happens…
    when we moved across country we “downsized” our house and up sized our people. Honestly it is very nice to have plenty of room now, but if I’m completely honest, I could be happy in the first 900 sq foot two bedroom house we started out in. We often joke we could actually do a big family in a “tiny house” as we are all snugglers…We have a lot of stuff and a lot of unused or cluttered space. Both cars fit in garage and we have plenty of storage. The house we purchased boarders a park so even with a spacious backyard there is litterally acres of play area for the kids that I can see from my window and the kids can play on the playground anytime.
    We are fortunate. I know many many large families who do just fine with way less money and house.
 
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