Personal sacrifices

[105lynne]

My husband doesn’t understand why we make sacrifices. For example, giving things up for Lent. He feels that Christ did all the suffering for us. If we are making sacrifices for poor souls, conversion of sinners, for the love of Jesus, then we’re basically saying that Jesus’ sacrifice was not enough. That it’s arrogant of us to think we can save someone’s soul by making sacrifices. Plus, he feels that if it has no weigh on our salvation, why do it? I try to explain it that it’s like making sacrifices in a marriage. If I really don’t want to do his laundry and feel like he can do it himself, I do it anyway out of love for him. Not that it will break our marriage if I don’t wash his clothes, but it’ll make my love for him grow and my self love is set aside.
I hope I’m explaining this ok. I want some of your thoughts on how to explain this to him. To explain that making sacrifices is not an insult to Jesus and His death on the Cross.

 

[JRKH]

My husband doesn’t understand why we make sacrifices. For example, giving things up for Lent. He feels that Christ did all the suffering for us. If we are making sacrifices for poor souls, conversion of sinners, for the love of Jesus, then we’re basically saying that Jesus’ sacrifice was not enough. That it’s arrogant of us to think we can save someone’s soul by making sacrifices. Plus, he feels that if it has no weigh on our salvation, why do it? I try to explain it that it’s like making sacrifices in a marriage. If I really don’t want to do his laundry and feel like he can do it himself, I do it anyway out of love for him. Not that it will break our marriage if I don’t wash his clothes, but it’ll make my love for him grow and my self love is set aside.
I hope I’m explaining this ok. I want some of your thoughts on how to explain this to him. To explain that making sacrifices is not an insult to Jesus and His death on the Cross.

Frankly, I think that you have given a very clear example with your laundry analogy.

As for Christ’s sacrifice being sufficient…It certainly was sufficient for the restoration of man to friendship with God. But does that mean we are finished - that we need do no more than believe (Sola fide?) Not according to Scripture.
St James speaks of the need to care for others:
What does it profit, my brethren, if a man says he has faith but has not works? Can his faith save him? If a brother or sister is ill-clad and in lack of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what does it profit? James 2:14-16
Can these things be said to be done in love (as called for in Mt 22:36-40) only when it does not involve sacrifice?
Consider Jesus words about the “widow’s mite” and how much greater and more pleasing is her offering because it came came from her very “need” and indeed was a sacrifice.

St Paul speaks of adding his sufferings to those of Christ’s in Col 1:24 he says
Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church,
I would ask your husband how he squares his view with the the Holy Spirit of God inspired Paul to say here.

Peace
James

 

[garn9173]

My husband doesn’t understand why we make sacrifices. For example, giving things up for Lent. He feels that Christ did all the suffering for us. If we are making sacrifices for poor souls, conversion of sinners, for the love of Jesus, then we’re basically saying that Jesus’ sacrifice was not enough. That it’s arrogant of us to think we can save someone’s soul by making sacrifices. Plus, he feels that if it has no weigh on our salvation, why do it? I try to explain it that it’s like making sacrifices in a marriage. If I really don’t want to do his laundry and feel like he can do it himself, I do it anyway out of love for him. Not that it will break our marriage if I don’t wash his clothes, but it’ll make my love for him grow and my self love is set aside.
I hope I’m explaining this ok. I want some of your thoughts on how to explain this to him. To explain that making sacrifices is not an insult to Jesus and His death on the Cross.

There are no rules that say you must give something up for Lent. The Sunday prior to Ash Wednesday, a Deacon at my Parish during his Homily encouraged adults not to give something up, but to be more patient, more forgiving, more charitable, more prayful, etc.

 

[sllhouette]

I have in the past had a lot of trouble with fasting. I didn’t understand the reason why I should. Eventually I realized that the point was that we exercise our will by denying some good things so that when the time comes we will be strong enough to deny what is bad. I have gained a great deal from fasting. I can’t even begin to tell you.

 

[105lynne]

I have in the past had a lot of trouble with fasting. I didn’t understand the reason why I should. Eventually I realized that the point was that we exercise our will by denying some good things so that when the time comes we will be strong enough to deny what is bad. I have gained a great deal from fasting. I can’t even begin to tell you.

Yes, I totally agree. But, my husband is a Protestant and sees no reason to “train” yourself to have self control so you’ll avoid sin. In his mind, he’s going to Heaven and that’s that. What he does now (good or bad) makes no difference. He’s accepted Jesus and that’s all he needs. This idea makes me nervous–does this mean he will cheat on me or abuse our kids because it has no bearing on his salvation?? I don’t think he would do either one of those things, but the fact that most Protestants have this idea that they can do no wrong means they give into temptation more easily. I don’t know…my husband is a tough nut to crack. I’ll remain docile, patient and prayerful! It’s all I can do right now.

 

[105lynne]

Frankly, I think that you have given a very clear example with your laundry analogy.

As for Christ’s sacrifice being sufficient…It certainly was sufficient for the restoration of man to friendship with God. But does that mean we are finished - that we need do no more than believe (Sola fide?) Not according to Scripture.
St James speaks of the need to care for others:
What does it profit, my brethren, if a man says he has faith but has not works? Can his faith save him? If a brother or sister is ill-clad and in lack of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what does it profit? James 2:14-16
Can these things be said to be done in love (as called for in Mt 22:36-40) only when it does not involve sacrifice?
Consider Jesus words about the “widow’s mite” and how much greater and more pleasing is her offering because it came came from her very “need” and indeed was a sacrifice.

St Paul speaks of adding his sufferings to those of Christ’s in Col 1:24 he says
Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church,
I would ask your husband how he squares his view with the the Holy Spirit of God inspired Paul to say here.

Peace
James

Oh, James. I was hoping you’d reply!! Thanks so much! Wonderful answer, as usual!

 

[JRKH]

Yes, I totally agree. But, my husband is a Protestant and sees no reason to “train” yourself to have self control so you’ll avoid sin. In his mind, he’s going to Heaven and that’s that. What he does now (good or bad) makes no difference. He’s accepted Jesus and that’s all he needs. This idea makes me nervous–does this mean he will cheat on me or abuse our kids because it has no bearing on his salvation?? I don’t think he would do either one of those things, but the fact that most Protestants have this idea that they can do no wrong means they give into temptation more easily. I don’t know…my husband is a tough nut to crack. I’ll remain docile, patient and prayerful! It’s all I can do right now.

Yes this is troubling. Your husband is obviously of the OSAS crowd. He is deluded when he thinks that, “What he does now (good or bad) makes no difference”. St James makes that very clear in his letter.

It may be that the idea of “Sacrifice” (giving till it hurts, or giving up something for lent, or not eating meat on Friday’s) will be something he just won’t get, but that really starts to get more into disciplines rather than principles. So obviously there is room for differences in approaches.
But even the OSAS Christian, who believes that he is truly saved will say that a saving faith will naturally produce the fruits of charity etc. That should be a good place to start.

Peace
James

 

[JRKH]

Oh, James. I was hoping you’d reply!! Thanks so much! Wonderful answer, as usual!

Happy to be of help.

Peace
James

 

[sllhouette]

Yes, I totally agree. But, my husband is a Protestant and sees no reason to “train” yourself to have self control so you’ll avoid sin. In his mind, he’s going to Heaven and that’s that. What he does now (good or bad) makes no difference. He’s accepted Jesus and that’s all he needs. This idea makes me nervous–does this mean he will cheat on me or abuse our kids because it has no bearing on his salvation?? I don’t think he would do either one of those things, but the fact that most Protestants have this idea that they can do no wrong means they give into temptation more easily. I don’t know…my husband is a tough nut to crack. I’ll remain docile, patient and prayerful! It’s all I can do right now.

Then phrase things in the positive. Make it about loving God as much as we can. We avoid sin, not just so that we might avoid punishment, but also because we love God. What do we do when we have committed a crime against our God? We do everything we can to make sure it doesn’t happen again, because we Love him and do not wish to offend him. Even if your husband believes his salvation is assured, he should be able see that sin is offensive to God and so should be minimized.

 

[JRKH]

Then phrase things in the positive. Make it about loving God as much as we can. We avoid sin, not just so that we might avoid punishment, but also because we love God. What do we do when we have committed a crime against our God? We do everything we can to make sure it doesn’t happen again, because we Love him and do not wish to offend him. Even if your husband believes his salvation is assured, he should be able see that sin is offensive to God and so should be minimized.

 

[fred_conty]

It has been an ancient church tradition. Holy people and especially the prophets did it as a practise. St John the Baptist is an example. Jesus Himself is another if we look closely at his life style.

The teaching that there is a pull between the body and soul is an old one. The body pulls the person to the material comforts and enjoyments, while the soul is a spirit always struggling to contain the body within moderation. And thus Jesus said, “what will a man give for the loss of his soul?” We also see this same effect in the U S A in observing all the overweight population. We could mention all the other problems such as drink, drugs, etc. It is rather obvious that many people are out of control is so many areas. How did we get there? Little by little and not doing God’s will.

In the religious arena, the church has recognized and pointed out our inclinations to overdue it a bit. Which in many cases result in sin. So she asks us to back off a bit and offer this hardship not only to show God our goodwill and conformity to his will, but also as means of SHOWING Him our reparation for our disobedience to His loving will.

Obviously this struggle with the body may focus on food or many other things. But also in giving up wrongful habits and conforming to God’s will in the future.

The condition that makes this very effective, is our doing it out of love for Jesus who sacrificed everything for us. He is a warm, loving, living, kind, person.

Just a thought or two.

And here is another thought.

“… heirs of God and coheirs with Christ, sharing his sufferings so as to share his glory.” Romans 8:17