Physical attraction of little importance

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I think of how arranged marriage works, people grow to love and become attracted to their spouse. Ultimately marriage is about uniting of souls. Why do people nowadays consider physical attraction important? Should physical attraction matter to me less as a woman? It seems like it easier for women to overlook a man’s looks if he has other attributes. Like Beyonce with Jay z or Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller or Sophia Loren and her late husband.

Beauty fades. What should I ultimately looking for?
 
Jump4Joy said:
Beauty fades. What should I ultimately looking for?
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Someone who feels like home.
Someone who you have no doubts about when you ask, is it my vocation to marry this person?
The one person you’d most want to wander the streets with if you lost everything.
 
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Is it immoral to want a hot guy? It seems more acceptable for men to care about looks. Women seem to be discouraged
 
“hot” is relative. If you have a vocation to marriage, you will find your beloved attractive. Maybe not the first time you see him. I found my husband neither attractive nor unattractive when I first met him. Now he is the most attractive man in the whole world to me. He was just some guy. The magnetism of finding him attractive crept in the more we talked.
 
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with wanting an attractive spouse. As long as we remember looks aren’t the entirety of the person. Sometimes they are a catalyst for meeting someone. Sometimes they are a bonus advantage.
 
I’ve found in my life that the more I get to know the character of a person, the more attractive they become. Same for women, I think.
That said, if you want someone attractive, you have to be attractive. And some people are just not attracted to others.
Speaking from a man’s standpoint, (and experience). I once really liked/loved someone. Could never get the spark going though. I’ve learned that women who have had good fathers, tend toward men with that physicality and personality. I once met her dad, and understood why. I was the total opposite of him. Not a universal characteristic, but I do think in many cases it holds water. For both sexes.
Good luck.
 
Jump4Joy said:
Men are looking for women like their mothers
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That is just a cliched generalization. Some do, some don’t. Same can be said for women, “they want men like their fathers.”

This has nothing to do with the topic of your thread.

It is not one or the other. What good is a great looking person if they have a terrible personality? At the same time, no one is saying you cannot be attracted to someone initially because of their looks.

However, you should be open to getting to know average looking men, you may be overlooking someone really suitable if you base everything on looks alone.
 
Here’s something I’ve often wondered about about as I sat in summer professional development. We supposedly have a dominant learning style- visual, auditory or kinesthetic. Does attraction align with your learning style?

Most people are visual learners and lot of people find visual traits attractive. I’m an auditory learner. I’d about snap my neck turning my head to figure out which dude is the one with the pleasant speaking voice or who is crooning like Bing Crosby.(no one is! Bings are rare.)

If any of this holds true, kinesthetic learners are the most rare. What would their preferences be? A good dance partner? The explosive tactile experience of that first time holding hands?
 
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