Pirating, but repentant

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bonzomanz

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So I am a musician. I make music on my laptop, while also being a drummer. I realized my passion, life purpose, and (current) possible vocation is music. Coming back to God slowly, I want to write music for him, and others, since the power he bestowed in his creation of music is utterly beautiful and full of love. I want it to save others like it did me (I know Jesus saves, but I mean as in it bringing me back to him).

What makes me believe this more so now, is because I was going to ship out to the Navy on the 14th, but my ship date got pushed to December 7th. I had prayed to Mary, and Jesus for them to let me release at least ONE SONG. My prayer was answered tenfold.

The problem is, before i was serious (and while I was becoming serious) about becoming holy and doing this whole music thing, I had pirated a DAW, and some virtual instruments, along with some effects plugins. I had done that a long time ago as well (when I first started music around when my mother passed away). Today, I was feeling so hopeful and excited to get this song finished, then like A TONE OF BRICKS it hit me about this being a mortal sin. And feeling that in order for me to be even remotely forgiven, I must delete all of what I have. I just can’t. I am SORRY my Lord in Heaven, but I just can’t.

I have a deep desire to do the Lords will with music, as it once healed me. So many songs are in the works to be completed, but it feels like this hit me at the worst time! Not to mention I had copied some of these files for my partner whom I’m making music with as well. Now I feel his sin is on my soul too. I almost feel sick.

I KNOW if I would’ve had the money, I would’ve paid for these tools (all of them add up to over 1200$!!) but it angers me that these necessary tools are so overpriced. I still plan to pay for all I have pirated once God gives me the opportunity to do so (after having much prayer with him about this!)

I talked to my priest/spiritual director, and here are some of his texts regarding this

“Resolve to pay forward any proportionate profits you may earn from your music to a good charity; that is a proper mode of penance and restitution.”

“Internally promise yourself that you will pay for the value of what you took, to people in need. And that will be over and above the “tithe” of charity you would otherwise give.”

I HEAVILY PLAN to do these with the gift of music that God has bestowed upon me. It’s just for the time being I NEED these tools because of the sound needed, the way the industry is, etc. The music scene on the web now is so heavily stacked towards pirating, and consciously creating horrible sounding freeware to convince you to fork over hard earned dollars for a small piece of software. I’m not putting theft on a scale on what was stolen, but a matter of this unjust corporatism for those who just want to live their passion.

In conclusion, I am heavily repentant of this sin. I am determined to make restitution when given the chance, but for now, I just can’t delete all of what I’ve pirated.

While refusing to delete all of this for now, to keep working on this music I find full of love and beauty, will God forgive me this sin?
 
To repent means to turn away from, not just to feel guilty.

That’s all I’ll say, and I really should say nothing. This is something you should discuss with your confessor and/or spiritual director. We’re anonymous people on the Internet.
 
bonzomanz said:
but it angers me that these necessary tools are so overpriced
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DAWS are not overpriced lol. A lot of resources and talent goes into making a good one,and all the mainstream DAWS (Ableton, FL, Logic etc.) are fairly priced or generously priced (like Reaper).

Just get a free DAW like LMMS if it bothers you that much. You want to be a musician, so do your research. Plenty of free software and VSTs out there if you spend 20 seconds googling.
I’d personally reccomend Reaper. It’s dirt cheap ($60 for a fully functional DAW :o) but it’s got a pretty steep learning curve tbf.
So you don’t need to hold on to your pirated goods, just go open source lol.
 
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See the thing about this is, I had this post much longer, and I had to delete the part where I addressed this. Vsts are way overpriced, that much I stick by. I have so many songs in the works, and getting rid of these would destroy them.
 
You clearly don’t know what goes into developing a VST then.
Stop justifying stealing someone’s work and go find open source plugins if it bothers you that much.
 
Consider the vast amount of beautiful music that was created in garages with a Tascam 4 track. Friend of mine has won multiple Grammys for producing, he is sought after for his analog skills.

You do not HAVE to use these specific softwares, it does sound like you very much WANT to use them.

Yes, make reparations for the theft. That does not mean you continue using the stolen property.

Imagine you stole a car. You go to Confession, determine to pay forward the value of the car. That does not mean you keep driving a stolen vehicle, even if you use it to deliver meals on wheels.
 
Did the priest tell you to delete your stuff?
Unless he told you to do it, then don’t do it. Focus on doing what the priest told you to do and don’t decide you need to do something else or do something different.
 
I had specifically talked about that with him. Those were his replies to all of it. He talked to offer up any profits of music for charity. I hope to do so with the help of the blessed virgin, while saving enough to buy these tools.
 
In my opinion, you do not have to delete recordings of music that you have already created. However, you should delete the pirated software and purchase the things you need, even if you can only afford less expensive options. As an acoustic musician, I can’t say, “It’s not fair that the really good guitars are so expensive! I’m passionate about music an these immoral, profit seeking manufacturers are keeping me from my dream! I’ll just steal a guitar.” If you really think that the technology you are using is so overpriced, then make it yourself. When you see just how much work goes into it, then you might change your tune.
 
I do agree and back off on the overpriced statement. These songs are all project files, however. They are not finished. Some are recorded to mp3, but they’re demos for lyrics. I get senses that this might just be desolation at the moment.
 
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