Planning ahead, just in case

[Eucharisted]

Eucharisted ~ I must be honest with you…because I have always held your posts in high regard. If you and your future spouse are having communication problems now and have not spoken in four months…please consider waiting. It is not the right time. A sacramental marriage is centered on honest and constant communication. That is not something that will suddenly appear on the wedding day…it needs to be developed during the courtship. If that is not happening perhaps it is the sign to wait.

I will pray.

Thanks for advice and prayers. I will wait, by His grace.

 

[MercyMia]

How do I plan for a wedding? Can I have a private wedding? I would feel embarassed being married in front of my family, because I want to hide myself in Jesus’ Heart from the world.

Here is how it usually works:

Most parishes would like you to approach them at least 6 months prior to the intended wedding date. This is because they want you to go through a marriage preparation. Typically, the parish will expect you to be a member who attends regularly. I don’t know what your parish situation is, but you could probably appeal to them if you had special circumstances. Also, if you want to get married in the church, you do not have to marry a Catholic - but you do have to marry a baptized Christian. Someone can correct me if I am wrong, but if your girlfriend is not baptized as a Christian I do not think the Church will marry you. I know that being married in the Church is probably very important to you, given your devotion to God.

Yes, weddings typically are public because you are proclaiming your love. Even a “private” wedding in the Church will require 2 witnesses. I know that there is something very romantic and peaceful about getting married in secret, but won’t both of your families feel hurt if you do not include them?

Now that the technical part is out of the way I will be honest and say that the situation seems a bit strange because you and your girlfriend have not spoken for a few months. Not to pry, but it sounds like you have an “online” relationship. Now, I see nothing wrong with that at all and many people find their spouses on the internet. My only concern is that you two may not really be a state for marriage preparation. Have you ever spent time together in person? Has she actually accepted your proposal? You have mentioned that her mother does not like you very much. Is your girlfriend an adult? It sounds like she still lives with her parents? If you really want to marry her, you need to travel to wherever she is and sit down with her parents and explain to them your intentions. I’m serious; this is part of being a man worthy of being a husband. You must walk into the lions den for her.
I have nothing against a young marriage; I’m 25 and was married when I was 23. There is a practical side to marriage too, such as - are you prepared to financially provide for a wife, and any children that may come as a result of your union? Do you have a safe and secure place for you to live as a married couple?

From your other posts, you seem be a very wise and faithful person to God. I do not mean to bombard you with questions or call into question your ability to become a good spouse. It seems that you have given yourself a time table until the end of the year to get married, but God does not work in our time, he works in his.

And most importantly, about tacos. They can be eaten often and without fear. They can also be served at a wedding reception fairly cheaply