Please help friends how do i choose a parish?

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I apologize for the yet again redundant topic. But I really need some help here, with a little/yet big decision…

I’m so utterly confused living in such a big city, with 10 parishes around, I have no idea how to choose one in which to start the RCIA class in a month. What do I look for? Three parishes are within a 7 minute drive, 2 are 20 minutes away. I’m drawn to the older, gorgeous churches with stained glass, pipe organs, and more aesthetic appeal for my creative nature, but really all the priests at all the parishes I’ve visited, seem non-descript really. Should I simply look for the main things I’m looking for in a church? Should I meet with all the priests to determine which one? Wow–living in a big city is at times overwheming–like now, and as a new–soon to be Catholic—I’m at my wit’s end with confusion! The poll I proposed was helpful, although there were so many differing views.

Any advice anyone??? I’ve always been an instinctual person, should I just wait until my instincts hit the nail on the head??? Maybe-------

Thanks.
 
You sound like you have an enviable problem. If someone you trust says that a certain RCIA program is a good one, why not just go with that? You have the rest of your life to choose a different parish.

Personally, I am attracted to the oldfashioned notion of beginning with your geographic location. Wherever you live is technically within the boundaries of one parish and the pastor there has a responsibility for your soul given to him by God when he was assigned there by the bishop. Without a very good reason, I would trust that God placed me within that parish and I would start out there. (But there is no rule that says you can’t go elsewhere.)

A lot of people will disagree with me (and I would have, too, some years ago) but I belong to my geographic parish even though some that are a little further from me are far more attractive in terms of trustworthy teaching and beautiful liturgy. But I pray where God put me.

May God bless you in your decision, whatever it may be.
 
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sparkle:
I apologize for the yet again redundant topic. But I really need some help here, with a little/yet big decision…

I’m so utterly confused living in such a big city, with 10 parishes around, I have no idea how to choose one in which to start the RCIA class in a month. What do I look for? Three parishes are within a 7 minute drive, 2 are 20 minutes away. I’m drawn to the older, gorgeous churches with stained glass, pipe organs, and more aesthetic appeal for my creative nature, but really all the priests at all the parishes I’ve visited, seem non-descript really. Should I simply look for the main things I’m looking for in a church? Should I meet with all the priests to determine which one? Wow–living in a big city is at times overwheming–like now, and as a new–soon to be Catholic—I’m at my wit’s end with confusion! The poll I proposed was helpful, although there were so many differing views.

Any advice anyone??? I’ve always been an instinctual person, should I just wait until my instincts hit the nail on the head??? Maybe-------

Thanks.
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Simple, visit the NEAREST to you, and go to the Mass. If all seems to be well, the priest is holy and follows all the laws and teachings of the Chuch, and he has no liturgical dancers, none or few EXTRA-ORDINARY ministers of the Eucharist, etc. No electric guitars, drums, dancing, then it is a good Parish. If is has liturgical dances, and nonsence, leave, go to the next parish, and so forth and so forth. Try to find one run by a RELIGIOUS ORDER of priests, not diocesan clergy, unless the diocesan clergy live holy lives.
 
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Grayton:
You sound like you have an enviable problem. If someone you trust says that a certain RCIA program is a good one, why not just go with that? You have the rest of your life to choose a different parish.

Personally, I am attracted to the oldfashioned notion of beginning with your geographic location. Wherever you live is technically within the boundaries of one parish and the pastor there has a responsibility for your soul given to him by God when he was assigned there by the bishop. Without a very good reason, I would trust that God placed me within that parish and I would start out there. (But there is no rule that says you can’t go elsewhere.)

A lot of people will disagree with me (and I would have, too, some years ago) but I belong to my geographic parish even though some that are a little further from me are far more attractive in terms of trustworthy teaching and beautiful liturgy. But I pray where God put me.

May God bless you in your decision, whatever it may be.
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How faithful and holy a parish is, also depends on the DIOCESE. If you are in a good diocese, it will show in its parishes, if a liberal bishop and hence diocese, that to will show. Location(Diocese) is very important.
 
Choose one with Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration, if possible. I think all those extra graces help a parish a lot.
 
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Lorik:
Choose one with Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration, if possible. I think all those extra graces help a parish a lot.
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I agree, the best advice yet.
 
Are you willing to say what city you live in? There might be some folks on this board who also live there and could steer you in the right direction.
 
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Grayton:
Personally, I am attracted to the oldfashioned notion of beginning with your geographic location. Wherever you live is technically within the boundaries of one parish and the pastor there has a responsibility for your soul given to him by God when he was assigned there by the bishop. Without a very good reason, I would trust that God placed me within that parish and I would start out there.
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This is really good advice…and it worked for me when I entered RCIA.
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Lorik:
Choose one with Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration, if possible. I think all those extra graces help a parish a lot.
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Ditto!!

Best of luck!
🙂 Lilder
 
I understand your quandry! 🙂 When I first started RCIA 11 years ago, I went to the church nearest my home, after two ‘classes’ I knew I wouldn’t be going THERE again (a quote from an instructor “we really can’t say how many children Joseph and Mary went on to have after Jesus” I kid you not!!) Luckily a friend referred me to a WONDERFUL priest and parish, where I was so very blessed to recieve private weekly instructions from the priest, and we are raising our family in that very parish now, 11 years later! 🙂
If you choose a parish, and come to realize it’s not exactly in line with Church teaching or conductive to worship, prayerfully discern if you are called to stay there and fight the fight, or go to another parish. Follow His lead, you can’t go wrong!
 
Krazykatlady gave the bet advice. What city do you live in?

Chris C.
 
I’m having the same problem. I’ve chosen, but not yet gone, to the closest one to me (a half an hour bus ride), i’m probably going tomorrow night. Some on says that the churches depend on the diocese??? What’s your opinion of the diocese of toronto? That’s where I am…
 
I am in the “bloom where you’re planted” school of thought, which is to go to the parish in whose geographical boundaries you live. If I were joining the Church, I’d of course want to go to one that had RCIA going.
 
Thanks all!!!

Just one more question:

ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ONLY GO TO THE PARISH WITHIN YOUR BOUNDARIES WHERE YOU LIVE? WILL A CHURCH LET SOMEONE IN THE RCIA PROGRAM IF THEY LIVE 20 MINUTES AWAY? AND NOT WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF THAT PARISH? IS THERE SOME SORT OF RULE ABOUT THAT??
JUST CURIOUS!!!

THX AGAIN~~
 
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sparkle:
Thanks all!!!

Just one more question:

ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ONLY GO TO THE PARISH WITHIN YOUR BOUNDARIES WHERE YOU LIVE? WILL A CHURCH LET SOMEONE IN THE RCIA PROGRAM IF THEY LIVE 20 MINUTES AWAY? AND NOT WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF THAT PARISH? IS THERE SOME SORT OF RULE ABOUT THAT??
JUST CURIOUS!!!

THX AGAIN~~
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When I called the Chancery office to find out what parish I lived in, they were almost puzzled. In most parishes, if you’re thrilled to be there, they’re double-thrilled to have you!

I would suggest, though, that you try to join just one parish and commit to the community you meet there, unless there are chronic and unaddressed abuses that require you by conscience to go elsewhere.
 
You have already had much good advice. I would absolutely attend Mass in the parish I was considering. Further the pastor should be the celebrant.

A couple weeks ago, I was to take a priest friend to supper after his vigil mass (new assignment). When I walked in I noticed the biggest CROSS I had ever seen. It had to have been twenty feet tall. One problem –no CORPUS. Next, I could not find the tabernacle. I even asked the couple behind me, and they did not even know what I was talking about. One of the altar servers was wearing flip flops, and an usher shorts. While the congregation knelt for the consecration no one in the sanctuary bothered.

Of course Father said Mass according to the rubrics;–I pray three years from now this is still true. Regardless this is not the type parish I would dream of enrolling for RCIA. I agree these things may not tell the entire story, but they say enough.
 
Thanks so much everyone for helping me decide!

Guess, the parish I like the best is where I will enroll in the RCIA program! I’m so excited!!!
 
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Lorik:
Choose one with Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration, if possible. I think all those extra graces help a parish a lot.
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I second this recommendation. Even if not perpetual Adoration, look for a parish that has regular established times of Adoration. I find this to be the best indicator of the spirituality of both the pastor and the parish community.
 
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sparkle:
Thanks all!!!

Just one more question:

ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ONLY GO TO THE PARISH WITHIN YOUR BOUNDARIES WHERE YOU LIVE? WILL A CHURCH LET SOMEONE IN THE RCIA PROGRAM IF THEY LIVE 20 MINUTES AWAY? AND NOT WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF THAT PARISH? IS THERE SOME SORT OF RULE ABOUT THAT??
JUST CURIOUS!!!

THX AGAIN~~
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That is not a requirement. However, if you become involved in the life of your chosen parish, it is much easier to commute to the one closest to home.

I have chosen a parish that is NOT my geographical parish, and the extra 15 minute drive is not a big problem. However, if I was dependant on public transportation, it would be a huge problem.

As others have said, this is not necessarily a decision you need to make right now. Find an RCIA program that fits. You may decide later that the parish does not fit, and can change at that time.
 
We used to live in Queens, New York (part of the city), and there were four parishes about equal in distance from home. Although officially we belonged to one parish we attended all four Churches at different times for different reasons. I worked near one for a while, so attended there when I was working, another had great teen activities, so I attended there for that, our “official” parish is where I went to CCD, it also had the best RCIA program, and I worked BINGO, the fourth is near where some of my friends lived, so we attended there when more convenient. I’d suggest “trying” all of them out for a while before you “register” with any. See which one you enjoy, which is most convenient, which has more appropriate programs for your family. Then of course go to the one “designated” for your address, because you wouldn’t want to offend anyone…
 
Good Morning Church

I am a Catholic Charismatic. When I have moved into a new area, I call the Diocese and speak to someone working with the Charismatic Renewal and ask for a recommendation of a parish.
They will know.
Since this will be your parish home for quite sometime, you should find a parish that you feel at home in.
Misericordi and I would, for example, not feel really “at home” in each others parishes. We are both Catholic and both respect each other but Holy Mother Church embraces each of us in a different way.
I would recommend you call your Diocese office and ask to speak to someone that can help you. I have always found these folks very helpful.
 
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