Please Help: Loving God OR Man

[catholicgal]

First, please be kind if you respond to this. I’m reaching out for any help or advice I can get.

I don’t know how to reconcile the desire for human companionship (aka – marriage) with a relationship with God. I’m 38 with no husband or children, and I find myself finally so lonely, I can’t stand it. I surround myself with family/friends, have a few hobbies to keep myself engaged, but none are a replacement for that intimate union I feel called towards.

My confusion arises with the Church’s strict teaching about sex/sexuality. I’m not referring solely to the act of sex itself, but even something as simple as kissing is deemed a mortal sin (I go to a traditional Latin Mass, and this is the case in their Examination of Conscience). How is a single gal supposed to date in the 21st Century without doing the most basic of romantic gestures towards someone they like?

Now I find myself in a state of mortal sin. I’ve been in this state for the past month, and the only reason I haven’t reconciled myself to God is because (quite frankly) I’m not sorry. What I AM sorry for is being away from Him, not being able to receive Him for the past month. But I’m in a position where I literally have to choose between God and this mortal man I have extremely strong feelings for. And I never thought I’d say this, and maybe I’m weak or something, but I’m choosing this man.

How does one go through life without love? I feel like that’s what I’m being asked to do by the Church, which is why I’m reaching out to you guys. Am I totally off about this? How come I see so many happy families at Mass? Didn’t they kiss when they were dating? I don’t want to live opposed to God anymore, but I feel I can’t sacrifice human companionship for Him either. Weren’t we made for this anyways?

I realize this is a jumble of thoughts (welcome to my confused head), but any help/guidance you can give would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, and God bless.

 

[worldwideweary]

As you have written that you don’t know how to reconcile a desire for marriage with having a relationship with the Creator, you are fundamentally stating that you are lacking in wisdom as exemplified by your believing that a loss of sanctifying grace ensues for doing exactly what Paul wrote to do (i.e. to greet each other with a holy kiss in his letter to the Romans).

Take James’ words into strong consideration (the beginning of his letter):

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.

 

[fide]

I am so sorry that you came upon an Examination of Conscience that led you to your present conclusion/confusion. I am sorry that you did not come upon a priest or lay man or woman with some wisdom, and good formation in Catholic moral teachings. I am very sorry that the Church has not guided you well enough into good, solid Catholic formation in our Faith, that you are now suffering in this confusion.

Is there a priest nearby who is old enough to have gained a good solid foundation in the Faith, that you could go to him in Confession, and lay out your confusion to him? I very strongly suspect that if you did this, he would relieve you of much unfounded grief and fear and confusion - and he would help you better understand what really might be a mortal sin in this area, and what is not.

May the Lord lead you to the right man, by the way, if marriage is in His will for you! Marriage is a beautiful and rich sacrament - but not all are called to it: some are entrusted with a gift of celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom. Not many, I suspect, but some are.

Blessings to you - and peace. Be at peace in Him: His love and provision for us is perfect.

 

[TechieGuy]

I’m not referring solely to the act of sex itself, but even something as simple as kissing is deemed a mortal sin (I go to a traditional Latin Mass, and this is the case in their Examination of Conscience).

Maybe they are mistaken about this and kissing is not a mortal sin.

 

[petra22]

Praying for you… all have offered good advice. Go talk to your priest. It’s like talking to Jesus…

Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you.
Blessed are you among women and blessed is the
fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
NOW and at the hour of our death. Amen!

Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do thou, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God cast into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

 

[TheButler]

I don’t know how to reconcile the desire for human companionship (aka – marriage) with a relationship with God.

To love the Creator is to love Creation.
To love Creation is to love Humanity.
To love Humanity is to bond with a Person.
To ultimate bond with a Person is physical.

Therefore to physically bond with someone is to love the Creator. (No mention of marriage required.)

 

[0104]

Kissing and holding hands there is nothing wrong in that. You will no how far to go. Your conscience is a good tool and helping you discern the good from the bad. If you are single we are told by the Church that we shouldn’t have sex with each other until we are married. Since the beginning it has been man and woman joined together and they are one.

I will be totally honest with you and not being judgemental. That if this is not bothering you as it should. That means you are putting the man that you love first before Loving God and the miracle we have every Sunday and every day of the week. The miracle Jesus Christ in the flesh and blood of the Eucharist. If you are missing out on the Eucharist you need to be one with our Lord again go to confession and then receive His body.

You will slip into sin again just get up as long as you are trying God will continue to put his grace upon you
God bless