Please help me with my situation?

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MonteCristo

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Hi friends,

Let me preface this question by stating that my no one in family is “practicing” Catholic. With that, I will say that the last time I have been to Church was this past Easter. The time before that? About 8 years ago, when I was a very young child. I would like to start going to Church again, but when I went this past Easter, I felt completely humiliated. I did not know what to do at all. I had no idea how to receive the Eucharist, and I just recently found out (yesterday!!!) that Catholics are not supposed to receive it until they have confessed!!! I have never been to a Confession in my life and I am so worried right now that I may be living in mortal sin. I want to attend a Confession but literally just googled what a Confession was today and feel like I’ve wasted so much time.

In addition to that, when attending the Easter Mass, I felt like I stood out like a sore thumb because I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Like I did not know at what segments I was supposed to kneel and pray (everyone else seemed to know) or that I even had to make the sign of the Cross when I arrived in the Church! I felt so happy that I was finally able to go though, and I want to make this a regular thing, but feel very insecure. I don’t know how to pray to a Rosary, I don’t know any prayers at all actually (my prayers consist of talking to God) and I am not familiar with anything that occurs in Church. I have always lived as my parents told me (never been in a relationship, have always obeyed my them, do not cheat etc.) and have always been grateful and felt like they taught me well, but ever since reading so many old threads here today I feel so worried about never being exposed to Catholic teachings my whole life, and I feel so horrible and worried about whether or not I may be in mortal sin right now!!!

Does anyone have any advice about how I should start going to Church and REALLY become active in my faith? I am so nervous to return, but am eager to start. I began this past year reading a lot about my Catholic faith and watching EWTN and feel knowledgable about it sometimes, yet right now I feel so hopeless.

Please help and pray that I will receive guidance from the Creator friends!!! 🙂
 
Make an appointment with your local Catholic pastor and tell him what you have told us here. He will help you.
 
Ask the priest about joining RCIA which is basically adult education classes. Go to the local library and they will have books on the Catholic Mass and those will be very beneficial.

Until you go through RCIA don’t worry about confession and you shouldn’t take communion until you are confirmed.

God Bless
 
This website has a basic “how to” for the mass.

wikihow.com/Visit-a-Catholic-Mass

If you go along and just want to sit toward the back for the first few times and watch what people are doing during the mass to get the hang of it perhaps.

The rosary is quite a simple prayer once you get the hang of it. I would certainly recommend praying the rosary if you are newly returning to the church. It is a powerful prayer and will give you spiritual strength in your journey in the faith.

This website contains a “how to” for praying the rosary.

ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/rosary/how_to.htm

For confession, you can always google the confession times in your local church. Generally all you have to say in confession is:

Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

It’s been (amount of time) since my last confession.

These are my sins:
(sins)

The priest will grant absolution and you will then say your act of contrition.

God Bless
 
Like others have stated, make an appointment with your parish priest. Write down all your questions and concerns and take them with you to your appointment.

As for feeling out of place at Mass, please do not feel this way. I see people at Mass all the time and I can tell they are either new to the Church or have been away for a while. We do not look down on you or make fun of you, we love you for being there.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite Gospels passages…The Parable of the Lost Sheep (Luke 15:1-7) when Jesus said, “Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

God Bless
 
I just saw this website on EWTN that I think may help you out with some questions you have. But please still contact your parish priest and make an appointment.

catholicscomehome.org/
 
Please don’t feel bad. As Brad pointed out, angels in heaven are rejoicing that you’ve decided to attend mass!

I felt really nervous when I returned to the church. I’d only been to Protestant services for most of my life, and a Catholic mass felt like a foreign country. (Well, partly because I started attending mass in Spanish, at the request of my foreign exchange student!) But even when I went to mass in English I felt nervous.

Nobody is looking at you, people are mostly focusing on the priest and the Lord. You will get the hang of it before long. And the websites and books mentioned here will help a lot.
Pretty soon you will be able to walk into a celebration of mass anywhere in the world, even in a foreign language, and be able to follow along! It’s pretty cool,.
God bless.

.
 
Hello and Welcome!

This is my advice, please take or leave it as you see fit.

Just go. The priest will help you and prompt you in the confessional. Go to a priest who has a reputation for holiness. This is your eternal soul - don’t wait - go to Confession ASAP.
MonteCristo said:
I feel so horrible and worried about whether or not I may be in mortal sin right now!!!
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Just go. Come a little early, read what the missalette says, it will say when to stand, sit, bow and kneel - follow the lead of the rest of the congregation. Read the readings ahead of time. Tell God, who is right there in the tabernacle before you, tell him how worried you feel. Talk to him and listen for the reply. Sometimes it’s through another person, a book, a homily, a realization. Go to Mass every week. Follow the precepts of the Catholic Church.

Read the bulletin. There’s always things and events listed in there. Go to the ones that appeal to you. Sign up to be an usher, sign up for things that catch your attention (one of the ways God speaks to us), volunteer for events. Tell us in these forums how things are going - keep us posted.
MonteCristo said:
Does anyone have any advice about how I should start going to Church and REALLY become active in my faith?
Click to expand...
My pastor tells me when I feel bad, dismal, dejected and hopeless “who is it that wants us to feel hopeless? It certainly isn’t God.” Don’t listen to that which is not of God. Send it to the foot of the cross.
MonteCristo said:
I am so nervous to return, but am eager to start. I began this past year reading a lot about my Catholic faith and watching EWTN and feel knowledgable about it sometimes, yet right now I feel so hopeless.
Click to expand...
 
I know it feels like everyone is looking at you, but I can assure you that nobody really cares.

You are fine and are to be commended for taking your first steps to coming back! 👍

For now, you could just sit in the back pew and watch, listen and learn.

God is only so happy you’re are seeking Him and won’t be upset with mistakes you make when you still don’t know any better. :console:

Do follow up with the priest and the links for study people have given.

You are on your way to a deep and rich learning experience and I pray that Mary, the mother of all Christians will be your protector and guide.

God Bless!
 
Yes, make an appointment with a priest to discuss your situation.

Were you baptized as a child? If you never made a first Confession, I am guessing that you didn’t receive the Sacrament of Confirmation either? Don’t be embarrassed to tell a priest about this, a lot of people had less than adequate religious education as children.

A good introductory book on Catholicism:

amazon.com/Catholicism-Dummies-Rev-John-Trigilio/dp/1118077784/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
 
MonteCristo said:
Hi friends,

Let me preface this question by stating that my no one in family is “practicing” Catholic. With that, I will say that the last time I have been to Church was this past Easter. The time before that? About 8 years ago, when I was a very young child. I would like to start going to Church again, but when I went this past Easter, I felt completely humiliated. I did not know what to do at all. I had no idea how to receive the Eucharist, and I just recently found out (yesterday!!!) that Catholics are not supposed to receive it until they have confessed!!! I have never been to a Confession in my life and I am so worried right now that I may be living in mortal sin. I want to attend a Confession but literally just googled what a Confession was today and feel like I’ve wasted so much time.

In addition to that, when attending the Easter Mass, I felt like I stood out like a sore thumb because I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Like I did not know at what segments I was supposed to kneel and pray (everyone else seemed to know) or that I even had to make the sign of the Cross when I arrived in the Church! I felt so happy that I was finally able to go though, and I want to make this a regular thing, but feel very insecure. I don’t know how to pray to a Rosary, I don’t know any prayers at all actually (my prayers consist of talking to God) and I am not familiar with anything that occurs in Church. I have always lived as my parents told me (never been in a relationship, have always obeyed my them, do not cheat etc.) and have always been grateful and felt like they taught me well, but ever since reading so many old threads here today I feel so worried about never being exposed to Catholic teachings my whole life, and I feel so horrible and worried about whether or not I may be in mortal sin right now!!!

Does anyone have any advice about how I should start going to Church and REALLY become active in my faith? I am so nervous to return, but am eager to start. I began this past year reading a lot about my Catholic faith and watching EWTN and feel knowledgable about it sometimes, yet right now I feel so hopeless.

Please help and pray that I will receive guidance from the Creator friends!!! 🙂
Click to expand...
First, do not be anxious. Do not feel hopeless! That is not a good response. You have the opportunity to grow and learn. Look at it from the positive perspective.

Second, know that you are warmly and cordially welcomed back.

Yes, call the priest and make an appointment to see him and tell him what you have written here. He will be able to guide you in the making of a general confession. It sounds as though as you have not been confirmed, so he will help you to have the opportunity to study the faith/refresh what knowledge you do have in a systematic way so that you will be more knowledgeable and also to prepare you to receive the sacrament of confirmation.

You would not be, actually, properly placed in RCIA since you are actually already Catholic.

Perhaps there is someone, such as a volunteer with the RCIA (The Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) or other parish ministry, that the pastor of your parish could introduce you to who could befriend you and mentor you in the practicalities of attending Mass, the recitation of the rosary, and things like that which you may have missed out on learning along the way. Of course, so much is available for learning by tutorials on the Internet today.

You should not feel embarrassed at all. Many people simply follow those who are about them. It may have appeared everyone knew, but I can guarantee that they did not…least of all for the Easter Vigil since it has peculiarities that are unique to it and it is a once per year occurrence.

It is very clear to me, as I offer Mass, that this is true because someone in the congregation will do the wrong thing and others will instantly imitate them and it catches my eye. Or there will be some special occasion and I will have to give verbal prompts from the altar because no one is quite sure what to do.

Do reach out to the parish priest right away so that you are on a course to being fully reconciled and fully practicing. It is not that hard for you…I promise. And it should make the priest’s day when he receives your call that you want to come “home”.
 
Check out the monthly magazine Magnificat. It will tell you exactly what to do at Mass every day. There are also helpful aps for your phone or tablet.
 
First, as others have said, contact your local priest. He will steer you in the right direction.

Second, you don’t have to “do” much anything at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass except pray. Unite your prayers with those of the priest.

Welcome back!!! 🙂
 
My only comment to add to the wonderful responses you have, is that I and many I am sure. love it when a Catholic comes back to the Church. Often times their enthusiasm for learning is contagious.

Welcome back and I pray you soon feel comfortable at Mass and find a priest that is warm and welcoming to help you with your other thoughts and guide you to the people that might help with the rosary etc.

Mary.
 
Welcome home! I concur with the rest of the posters in this thread that talking to a priest is the surest route, so I don’t mean to take away from that advice.

ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/rosary/how_to.htm

Here is a guide on the Rosary. Don’t worry if you forget some prayer intentions or if it doesn’t feel as if you’re doing much of anything at first. You can simply read the stories in the Gospel while you pray (except for the Assumption and Coronation of Our Lady) if you prefer. Our Lady is always happy for those starting to pray the Rosary and is very generous to those who do.

usccb.org/bible/books-of-the-bible/index.cfm

Here’s a Bible if you need one. For the Assumption and Coronation, though they aren’t directly related, I find that Judith 15: 9-10 sounds very much like it could be about Mary.

I’m happy to see you thinking of coming to Church! Matthew 20: 1-16 is a very comforting reading to those who may have come a bit later than most. I’ll pray for you.
 
roseofshannon said:
I know it feels like everyone is looking at you, but I can assure you that nobody really cares.

You are fine and are to be commended for taking your first steps to coming back! 👍

For now, you could just sit in the back pew and watch, listen and learn.

God is only so happy you’re are seeking Him and won’t be upset with mistakes you make when you still don’t know any better. :console:

Do follow up with the priest and the links for study people have given.

You are on your way to a deep and rich learning experience and I pray that Mary, the mother of all Christians will be your protector and guide.

God Bless!
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👍 Well said!
 
Thank you so much. I read each and every one of your replies and am so happy I decided to do this. I plan on first purchasing a Catholic Catechism book, reading it, and then setting up a plan for my Confirmation!!! I am so happy!!! :):):):angel1::):):)🙂
 
MonteCristo said:
Thank you so much. I read each and every one of your replies and am so happy I decided to do this. I plan on first purchasing a Catholic Catechism book, reading it, and then setting up a plan for my Confirmation!!! I am so happy!!! :):):):angel1::):):)🙂
Click to expand...
Just FYI, you can access it for free both on the Vatican and USCCB websites.
 
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