What do you mean by not believing in God?
It sounds like this is more a matter of emotion than intellectual, but I can’t really tell. Whatever it is… Here is one sign that God is with you…
God is good, He is absolutely good, and without God no one can do or desire anything good at all. For Christians this goes even further, with our baptism we gain supernatural graces – the ability to do virtuous things for the sake of God in ways no other people can… these supernatural acts of charity are too further signs of God’s graces.
So… whenever God feels farther from you, the very desire for God – His goodness, is the sign that He is within you. The more you desire Him, the more He is with you, for the desire for God is a great good – a great good from God.
Instead of despairing from that desire, or misunderstanding it, one is to take it for what it is – a good, a longing, a calling to pursue God, to gain Him, to come closer to Him.
How do you do this? To do this… one gives up sin, and devotes oneself to virtuous works for the love of God and prayer.
Prayer especially. One makes acts of faith – and submits to His pleasure as to whether He will reveal Himself in some further way or not to you.
The devils try to drive us to despair and twist our emotions, this battle is for our growth. We must try to control our emotions and turn them to what they should properly be for the sake of ourselves and God.
Have faith! You will receive consolation. . But do not let your own misguided heart get in the way of such consolation… give of yourself… then the road will start to show rays of light.
**Act of Hope
**from the Small Roman Missal
Since Thou vouchsafest to come and dwell within me, O my Redeemer! What may I not expect from Thy bounty! I therefore present myself before Thee with that lively confidence which Thine infinite goodness inspires. Thou not only knowest all my wants, but Thou art also willing and able to relieve them. Thou hast not only invited me, but also promised me Thy gracious assistance: “Come to Me all ye that labour and are burdened, and I will refresh you.” Behold, then, O Lord, I accept of Thy gracious invitation; lay before Thee all my wants, my misery, and my blindness, and confidently hope, without the fear of being disappointed, that Thou wilt enable me to persevere, unto the end of my life, in Thy service. “In Thee, O Lord, have I hoped; I shall not be confounded forever.”
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want; he maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in paths of righteousness for his name sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
An Act of Love
from the Small Roman Missal
As the hart panteth after the fountains of water, so my soul panteth after Thee, O God! “My soul hath thirsted after the strong, living God; when shall I come and appear before the face of God?” “For what have I in heaven? And besides Thee, what do I desire on earth?” Let blind and infatuated worldlings intoxicate themselves with the false, transient, and fading happiness of this life; for my part, nothing besides Thyself can content me, either in heaven or on earth. Come then, O Thou Lamb of God, Who takest away the sins of the world! Come, Thou beloved of my heart! Adorable Flesh and precious Blood of my Saviour! Come, to nourish, comfort, and enliven my sickly soul. O God of my heart! Let me neither love, seek, nor think of any other object but Thyself alone; for Thou alone art my consolation, my treasure, my joy, my life, my all!
“My heart and my flesh have rejoiced in the living God… Thou art, O Lord of hosts! My King and my God!” “Who will give me wings like a dove and I will fly and be at rest!”
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