Please I need advice and Prayers:my wife is threatening to divorce me if I become Catholic

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SeekerOfTruth7

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I was raised one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. When I was 19, I left the JW’s and became a Christian. I initially believed in the Reformed tradition, attended a Reformed Church. But after about 4 years of being a Protestant, I began to study the teaching and practices of the Roman Catholic Church. At first I was hesitant, being told many things (all wrong) about the RCC. But after some study, I have come to be of the conviction that the Roman Catholic Church is the Church that Our Lord established in His first advent. After some time went by, my studies and new views, such as the True Presence in the Eucharist, the Authority of the Magisterium, the cleansing of Purgatory, and the Papacy all coming into line with the Catholic Church, my wife found out. I had been keeping these things to myself during my study. We were just recently married a little over a year ago. She was raised in a Seventh-Day Adventist family and while she doesn’t really practice Seventh-Day Adventism, her family still does and she has been raised with their views in mind, such as the Sabbath only on Saturday, and the hatred for the Pope and the Catholic Church that the SDA have. Once she found out by finding books I had been reading and a rosary that I owned, a huge argument ensued. That was a few months ago. Since then I have tried to “calm” down my studies and new convictions, but every time I see anything Catholic related, whether a TV program, YouTube video or the rosary I hang in my car’s rearview mirror, I feel this intense desire to become Catholic and live as a Catholic Christian would, a sacramental lifestyle. I feel this burning in me to partake of the Eucharist and experience the Body and Blood of Christ. But wife has told me multiple times that if I become a Catholic, she will leave me. She does not want to be Catholic, doesn’t want our future children to be Catholic, and wants nothing to do with Catholicism. I have tried to explain to her the misconceptions that she has about the Church and the beautiful teachings that it truly has, but she won’t listen. Now, I don’t know what to do. I love my wife. And I want to do only that which is good for her, but the more I keep denying the Catholic faith, the more I begin to feel like I am denying God the Father and His Son and His Spirit. I don’t know what to do now or where to go. Please help. I need guidance and most of all prayers.
Thank you
J.Ruiz
 
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well, it looks like u answered your own question. You said you feel you are denying God and Son and HS

objectively, you are, if you put your wife over them.

If you don’t believe me (and you… laugh)

it says that very thing in the Bible, which as I read elsewhere… is a Catholic book. Jesus said that unless you HATE (hard word but that’s what it says) your mother, father, spouse etc… you are not worthy of him
 
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Jesus should always be placed first. This is the reason so many (most people) end up in Hell, they do not put Jesus first. The idolize human relationships and human-whatever…

Just speaking as a human being, though… doesn’t look like the wife really loved her husband in the first place… or not as much as she should, I should say… if she is willing to leave over something like this… It is not like he is beating her or something like that
 
If my wife said that, I would preach the Gospel to her. But I wouldn’t threaten divorce. I wouldn’t threaten to leave her. And on the children issue, I wouldn’t be okay with that. But I never said I wanted advice on the children. She threatened to leave If I become Catholic, not our children. So if my children want to become “wiccan” then that’s their choice when their adults. But that’s not what this post is about
 
So therefore you are saying that my wife is justified in leaving me if I become a Catholic? Justified in breaking our marriage? I don’t think you have a biblical worldview. But in reality, if you want to give helpful advice or talking points I can bring up to my wife, then I’m all ears. But throwing out how “offensive” the Catholic Church is and that’s justifiable to get a divorce is not helpful. Just say what you mean. You are meaning, DONT BECOME CATHOLIC. But that’s not my request for help here. Its good advice from Catholics, hence I am on a Catholic forum, and talking points that I could bring up with my wife, and prayers. All in the goal of becoming a practicing Catholic and keeping my marriage. if you’re not a Catholic, then I don’t really care for your advice.
 
I will try and set up a meeting with the Priest, but I don’t want to sneak to the meeting. I don’t feel like that is right. I think if I were to tell her that she would get angry, and then I don’t what would happen. But you’re right… I will stand before God and answer for myself and my deeds. I think a hard part for me is that I want so badly for her to see the Truth, the Catholic Church that way I have been seeing it. And its hurting that she isn’t and that we can’t find joy In that together…
 
why the comparison, the eqivalancy of wicca with catholicism?

please

find a better comparison

but even if you do, that does not negate what JESUS himself said: Unless you hate your mother, father, sister, spouse… you cannot be my disciple

And indeed, why should we be faithful to such folks when they can always, always be so unfaithful to us? No human love is guaranteed. Jesus’s love IS
 
you don’t understand bc that poster does not understand. that poster (who sides w/ wife) wouldn’t think of putting Jesus first. Most people are like that… it’s why the world is a chaotic, sinful, virtually un-livable mess
 
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yeah, doesn’t make sense why a non-Catholic would try and give advice from someone who is seeking the advice of Catholics on a Catholic forum…
 
I am not in a situation with two incompatible things. Maybe to you it is. But I have heard many stories of spouses becoming Catholic while the other stays Protestant. The way I view it is that my wife Believes in Christ as her Lord and Savior, she prays to God, tries to live a righteous life. She sins and asks for forgiveness when she does. She is a Christian. ANd I think even the Church would say she is a Christian. But I have found an expression of Christianity that I find more fulfilling, ancient, and closer to what the Lord wanted us to practice. Nothing incompatible about it at all. I think it is for you. And again in a biblical worldview, I wouldn’t “set her free”. unbiblical and not a correct answer
 
wife should have told him before wedding: if you ever become catholic, you can kiss me goodbye.

then he could have made a decision…
 
I have never told my wife she has to become Catholic. I would never push that on her. I would want her to be Catholic to experience that joy that I am discovering as well. But if she never does then that is her decision. I think you are adding to my words and motives things that aren’t there and are therefore arguing a strawman.
 
We are not discussing raising children. We are discussing a difference in values which are based off of value systems. Her’s is Protestant, mine is becoming more and more Catholic everyday. But I don’t see a difference in fundamental values. I see a difference in teachings and understanding in some things, such as the eucharist and the papacy, but not in our devotion to Christ, which is where our values stem from. I think you are conflating the action of raising children with the values system of two expressions of Christianity
 
I think you have to hit the reply button on the post. But it still shows up on the whole feed.
 
i press the Reply under the comment

i would like to see my response under the post I am responding to. . sigh. Most forums are like that. but then again, most forums… oh never mind…

sigh again…
 
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Moved to Family Life as you are asking for advice.

I would suggest that you follow Christ to His Church. Your wife will make a decision, does she stand between you and where God is calling or does she accept with humility that you are following Christ as you hear Him call.

“I love my husband and I believe he is a honest, good man. If this is where he feels God wants him, I will support him. If this is Truth, it will last and if it is not true, he will walk away.” would be my words had my husband wished to convert somewhere. When Catholicism makes you a better husband, that you love her more and better with this step,

Is it possible that she married you hoping you would be won to SDA?


There is a good book, you can pick it up used for a couple bucks:

 
I would encourage you to read Dr. Scott Hahn’s book Rome Sweet Home, about his journey to Catholicism. His wife was totally opposed to it as well.

I have seen posts with similar questions, and the advice is often to take it slowly, not rush into something that will alienate your wife. She is concerned for your soul. Threatening you with divorce is not the best way to handle it, but she may be very afraid, or maybe angry. This is not what she signed up for.

I would do your best to practice your faith-- pray, say the rosary in private, and attend mass when you can. You can’t yet, of course, receive the sacraments, but you can make a spiritual communion. Try to be a good husband and help relieve her fears.
If she’s not practicing her faith, or any faith, maybe suggest you both start attending church together. She could choose the church.

you could also discuss your situation with a priest. You have a right to do so. Invite her to go with you if she’d like to.
Will pray for you.
 
Follow Jesus at all costs. Contact an attorney regarding divorce, not that you should file one, rather their are very specific things you can not say or do that will result in massive economic decimation. I am not going to lie, females have the upper hand in court, your wages might be garnished by a court, you might lose part of a 401k. Prepare ye…
 
SeekerOfTruth7 said:
She was raised in a Seventh-Day Adventist family and while she doesn’t really practice Seventh-Day Adventism, her family still does and she has been raised with their views in mind, such as the Sabbath only on Saturday, and the hatred for the Pope and the Catholic Church that the SDA have.
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Marriage is a place of change.

Her stonewall communication skills come from many years of SD emotional manipulation. (Similar to your background?)

This may be your only toehold with her.

Call her bluff.
Explain how a marriage without proper communication is doomed no matter what the subject.

If she blinks, talk to her about how hard it was for you to overcome your childhood training.
 
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