HurtbutChanging-I’m so frustrated. I have been praying, asking for forgiveness/guidance, and trying to keep a positive attitude - but I feel like I get no response! I am still not working (although have been working HARD to find something and had a new interviews, but nothing has materialized) , and I’m still dealing with the aftermath of my affair. What bothers me the most is that even though I have a supportive husband, I still long for ‘the other man’. As painful as it sounds, I do not know how I feel about the man I married. Truth me told, I had my reservations long before we were married (we had discussed my fears) and went through with it anyway. Now I am in a horrible mess. As much as I pray, and attempt to show self constraint I still feel so lonely, hurt, and confused. I’m trying desperately to do the right thing here, but I don’t even know what it is.
A very wise person once told me ‘when in doubt, do nothing but pray’…it’s been 3 long months though and there hasn’t been much change…
As juvenile as this may sound, I must ask how can I turn my life around? I pray every day that the Lord change my mind and heart, but for now they both remain in a state of chaos (sadness, despair).
I pray for all of those who are going through a similar situation. I also pray for all of those who are/becoming involved in an affair that they take a step back and not indulge in such evil and selfish acts.
I cannot help but wonder what is wrong with me…I guess this situation really shows how human I really am! Selfish.
I guess it’s the immature/very human side of me that still misses and longs for him. I have been trying to deal with all of this, and all I am capable of is not contacting him. Truthfully, even having no contact is difficult, even after 3 months (we have have ZERO contact with one another for 3 months). I know that length of time does not seem significant, but it seems like an eternity to me.HurtbutChanging-
It is not something that will happen overnight (3 months is still a short time). You have to learn to forgive yourself first. An act of confession is to be truely sorry for the sin that you committed. Since you have stated that you still long for the other man, God knows what’s in your heart and what you desire. You must let go for the healing to begin. I’ve been on the other side of an affair…thought of suicide too. I realized that it’s just a coward’s way out of not having to deal with the situation (my thoughts) and here I am 20 years later…I pray for you…
O Lord, Jesus Christ,
Redeemer and Saviour,
forgive my sins,
just as You forgave Peter’s denial
and those who crucified You.
Count not my transgressions, but,
rather, my tears of repentance.
Remember not my iniquities, but,
more especially,
my sorrow for the offenses I have committed against You.
I long to be true to Your Word,
and pray that You will love me
and come to make Your dwelling place within me.
I promise to give You praise and glory in love
and in service all the days of my life.
Amen
Glad to hear about the counseling and Marriage Encounter.I guess it’s the immature/very human side of me that still misses and longs for him. I have been trying to deal with all of this, and all I am capable of is not contacting him. Truthfully, even having no contact is difficult, even after 3 months (we have have ZERO contact with one another for 3 months). I know that length of time does not seem significant, but it seems like an eternity to me.
I don’t know how to let go though, that is my biggest struggle. Things ended very abruptly with the other man, and badly. So no closure there. I feel depressed and unhappy in my marriage and I’ll admit in my life in general. I have sought counseling (both privately and with my husband) attended numerous sessions and well nothing really came of those. We will be soon attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend and I hope and pray that something will come of that. I’m trying my best to make things work, but at times it feels forced.
I know I need more patience, that’s for certain. I need to trust more too, and accept God’s will. I agree that suicide is the coward’s way out, and is a grossly selfish act too…
I’ll just continue to pray, and hopefully somewhere down the line I’ll begin to see things clearly (for what they are) and move pas this.