I’m sorry; the last time I posted this under severe stress, and apparently people thought I was trolling.
Please pray for me; I’m worried that I have the potential to become a pedophile. I’m a faithful catholic, I hate the feelings I recieve, but I cannot shake them. I will never hurt a child; but please, pray that this cup may pass. It is terrible.
Thank you, whoever it was, that recommended the “binding” prayer on my last thread; it has helped consideribly.
…Which means that your struggle is a result of a demon tormenting you. Don’t freak out over it, but trust in the Name of Jesus to make them flee. It may even be helpful to imagine demons fleeing as you say the Name of Jesus. The only reason evil spirits come back is because we invite them back, sometimes habitually and without fully realizing it, Sometimes we think that we can let them dwell for just a little bit and then they will go away. That’s their lie, so don’t let them in. Bind them in the Name of Jesus as soon as you detect that deceitful enticement. Once you build that new habit of shutting the door on them, you’ll feel like you’ve been freed from a prison.
For positive actions, use holy water at home, go to confession frequently, if possible go to daily mass, but don’t go to communion if in the state of mortal sin. Pray to St. Joseph to help you. His solemn feast is this Friday, March 19th. I think it would be a great thing if you could attend mass that day even if it seems impossible. Why? Because God entrusted him with the protection of the Blessed Virgin and His Divine Son on earth. Just imagine how virtuous St. Joseph was.
You need to strive for small victories and remember that you can’t overcome the darkness except by turning on the light. In other words, other than avoiding idleness (TV!) concentrate on doing positive things such as mass, adoration, acts of charity, work around the house. Read holy books, such as St. Faustina’s diary. If you spend some time in a catholic store, you’ll find plenty good readings to keep you motivated (preferably the lives of saints).
I found that saying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy is very helpful in tough times like you describe, because it allows you to concentrate one aspect of your relationship to God, that is your absolute dependence on God and His infinite love for you. That’s all you need to think about when saying the chaplet.
Don’t see yourself as somehow evil. You’re clearly reaching out and fighting, which means that you have a well formed conscience and are being assailed, due to some weakness. God may have great things in store for you and the devil is trying to destroy His work. I will keep praying for you. God bless.
