K
Katie817
Guest
Hello all, I know this is long but please read it I need so much help : (
I am writing this through my tears in a state of total and true sadness, panic, anxiety any other word you can think of. I am 22 years old, and think I might be pregnant I won’t know for sure until around my 23rd birthday on March 1. My life is a mess. My heart and soul hurt because I was raised to know better and I I have made such mistakes. I feel pathetic and I want to vanish I wish I never was
I have had a boyfriend for 3 years lately though, we had some problems and we decided to take a break from January 21st - February 5th. I never go out or do anything, I hardly drink and I am a regular home body. Well I was so sad, since we were on break. I decided to go out and do something to distract myself and because my boyfriend works in the hospitality industry and I knew he would be busy. So I wanted to be busy too, to make myself feel better. I went to a party on Feb. 4th and ended up hanging out all night with what I assume was a gay man. He was very feminine. He asked me to kiss him while we were dancing I didn’t think anything of it because from what I see on tv… its normal? ( I feel so naive and stupid ) Anyways I drank, and it hit me hard because I never drink. I remember bits and pieces of the night but I don’t remember leaving the party. I woke up the next morning in his hotel room, all my clothes were on and I didn’t notice anything to signify I had been raped. I even asked if anything had happened only because I couldn’t remember going to sleep. He assured me twice that there was no sexual contact. So that morning I even got my period just as expected however it was a little shorter than usual…Since then my boyfriend and I got back together. We have slept together. But now…Feb. 18th. I am thinking maybe I am pregnant. My tummy has felt a little different and the past two nights (only at night) my breasts have hurt (only a dull achy feeling, not too bothersome) I do have a tendency to freak out and be paranoid…I have had panic attacks in the past. Maybe because I can’t remember and I am worrying, I am causing myself to create symptoms? I don’t know if I am just being paranoid since I went to sleep drunk and couldn’t remember? Or if I am pregnant…If I am pregnant is it a strangers baby?? Or my boyfriends? I just wanted to go out and have a good time to get my mind off of things and now its all backfired on me I have never been sooooo upset. I know this forum is Catholic, and I am Catholic I know I have made stupid mistakes but I believe in Catholicism I hope you all here can give me some advice or peace of mind because I need help right now. Please don’t say anything mean to me or criticize my mistakes because the sheer memory of things I have done is enough to make me sob and feel worthless so please help me…
If I am pregnant, is it okay for me to put the baby for adoption? (I’m not sure I could even go through with it, I’m sure if I have a baby I will want to keep it…but if its not my boyfriends baby…I don’t know…I don’t know if I am strong enough to keep the baby if it is a strangers and thats the case ) I just have so many things I’m scared of and thinking about and I desperately need someone. Someone just to talk to about it or give me advice.
I am writing this through my tears in a state of total and true sadness, panic, anxiety any other word you can think of. I am 22 years old, and think I might be pregnant I won’t know for sure until around my 23rd birthday on March 1. My life is a mess. My heart and soul hurt because I was raised to know better and I I have made such mistakes. I feel pathetic and I want to vanish I wish I never was
I have had a boyfriend for 3 years lately though, we had some problems and we decided to take a break from January 21st - February 5th. I never go out or do anything, I hardly drink and I am a regular home body. Well I was so sad, since we were on break. I decided to go out and do something to distract myself and because my boyfriend works in the hospitality industry and I knew he would be busy. So I wanted to be busy too, to make myself feel better. I went to a party on Feb. 4th and ended up hanging out all night with what I assume was a gay man. He was very feminine. He asked me to kiss him while we were dancing I didn’t think anything of it because from what I see on tv… its normal? ( I feel so naive and stupid
) Anyways I drank, and it hit me hard because I never drink. I remember bits and pieces of the night but I don’t remember leaving the party. I woke up the next morning in his hotel room, all my clothes were on and I didn’t notice anything to signify I had been raped. I even asked if anything had happened only because I couldn’t remember going to sleep. He assured me twice that there was no sexual contact. So that morning I even got my period just as expected however it was a little shorter than usual…Since then my boyfriend and I got back together. We have slept together. But now…Feb. 18th. I am thinking maybe I am pregnant. My tummy has felt a little different and the past two nights (only at night) my breasts have hurt (only a dull achy feeling, not too bothersome) I do have a tendency to freak out and be paranoid…I have had panic attacks in the past. Maybe because I can’t remember and I am worrying, I am causing myself to create symptoms? I don’t know if I am just being paranoid since I went to sleep drunk and couldn’t remember? Or if I am pregnant…If I am pregnant is it a strangers baby?? Or my boyfriends? I just wanted to go out and have a good time to get my mind off of things and now its all backfired on me I have never been sooooo upset. I know this forum is Catholic, and I am Catholic I know I have made stupid mistakes but I believe in Catholicism I hope you all here can give me some advice or peace of mind because I need help right now. Please don’t say anything mean to me or criticize my mistakes because the sheer memory of things I have done is enough to make me sob and feel worthless so please help me…If I am pregnant, is it okay for me to put the baby for adoption? (I’m not sure I could even go through with it, I’m sure if I have a baby I will want to keep it…but if its not my boyfriends baby…I don’t know…I don’t know if I am strong enough to keep the baby if it is a strangers and thats the case ) I just have so many things I’m scared of and thinking about and I desperately need someone. Someone just to talk to about it or give me advice.