P
Povero
Guest
Your particular diagnosis (if it has been done correctly) presents a common experience: pursuit by Satan, warnings that you must die to “save” others, “demonic” attacks from auditory and visual hallucnations, and obsessive fear of hell and damnation.
You wear a crown of thorns if you are indeed experiencing this exquisite torment. You are not going to “hell”…I think “Hell” is a choice made face to Face with a God whom a person has denied and whose actions in life have been seriously disruptive to the lives of others, to their continuing lives. Your dreams are not “real” in the sense that that they convey TRUTH of God’s love for you and His judgment. You will go to heaven but you must ACKNOWLEDGE THIS SUFFERING to your mental health providers: psychiatrist, therapist. I lost my daughter to thoughts such as you have. She is far from “lost”, she is in the loving and healing arms of God. BE HONEST with your psychiatric team. Tell THEM what you TELL US. There IS help available, but it won’t be easy, and it will take time. You have no idea what God’s plan is for your life. Perhaps you will be chosen as a spokesperson for others who are suffering as you are suffering. Remember Christ’s message: 1 John 4:4: “4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”