POLL FOR GIRLS: What is/was most important to you in selecting a spouse?

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Minerva:
when I was still single and searching for a husband the things that were most important to me in a man were first that he was a strong Catholic, second that he was very intelligent, and third that he valued intelligence and ambition in his wife (sadly, many “good catholics” I met did not value this last thing - some outright had contempt for it). I was very lucky to meet such a man and marry him.
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Same here. Though it’s not likely to apply to me, I’d look for someone who was a strong Catholic, emotionally stable, had life goals similar to my own, was intelligent, and valued intelligence in his spouse. I concur that many otherwise “good catholics” I’ve met became hostile when it can to a wife who was intelligent, ambitious, or otherwise in a profession they viewed as pretentious.
 
The initial attraction was that among my friends he was the only person playing that knew who Jack Ruby was and what he did for a living. (We met playing Trivial Pursuit) Wow!, thought I, someone with whom I can have a conversation about something other than hairstyles, football and who’s seeing who! The rest is 15 years of history and I still enjoy our conversations. We watch the evening news together every night and discuss the current events. 🙂
 
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LabChick:
Same here. Though it’s not likely to apply to me, I’d look for someone who was a strong Catholic, emotionally stable, had life goals similar to my own, was intelligent, and valued intelligence in his spouse. I concur that many otherwise “good catholics” I’ve met became hostile when it can to a wife who was intelligent, ambitious, or otherwise in a profession they viewed as pretentious.
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Women with brains scare a lot of people… i really believe that’s why so many don’t like Hilary Clinton… They may disagree with her politics, but it’s much more… Margaret Thatcher was another. 👍
 
I knew my husband was the guy for me when he would come with me to the laundromat to do my laundry and even doing that was fun because the conversationwas so good. Even now, after ten years of marriage and with two children in the back seat, we don’t turn on the radio in the car, so we can talk.

My husband is very intelligent, encourages me to grow and learn, and is very helpful around the house. I like the way he looks as well, but that is secondary.
 
WOW! All the pics on this thread!!! Awesome!!!
THE most important thing in choosing a spouse is that they truly Love the Lord God with all their heart soul and mind. If they have this–all else falls into place.
 
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sparkle:
WOW! All the pics on this thread!!! Awesome!!!
THE most important thing in choosing a spouse is that they truly Love the Lord God with all their heart soul and mind. If they have this–all else falls into place.
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don’t forget the latest…

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I based my choice on character, steadiness, and integrity. My husband is very nice looking but that was not as high on the list for me. He does what he says, you can count on him, and he’s very very good to his mom!

I wanted to be married to someone who shared my basic philosophy and political views. I see no reason to marry someone you will be arguing with every day. Oddly I was much more liberal than he when we first met. Thank heavens I saw the light

Lisa N (married 25 years same guy)
 
I didn’t choose him, God did. I made so many stupid mistakes, I could write a book and then a guy that lived a block away all my life came into the picture. I remember thinking “He is okay.” Then we continued to date and I was truly blown away by his gentle kindness. He did sweet things all the time and they were little things, and to this day when he brings me a simple cup of coffee, my heart starts to flutter!:love:

I tell my kids all the time, send God to find the “one” for you, he does a great job!👍

Blessings,
Helen
 
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homeschoolhelen:
I tell my kids all the time, send God to find the “one” for you, he does a great job!👍
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Nice post! also to remind mothers to pray for their childrens’ spouses from the time they are born! I have done this and my daughter-in-law is every mother’s dream! Now for the other one!
(course his bride could be the Church)?:whistle:
Annunciata:)
 
When I was younger, I probably would have answered, “All the above.”

But now that I’m a…ahem…in my “mature” years (old enough to remember President Kennedy and too young to retire), my list has definitely changed.

My ideal man would be (in no particular order):

One with a job
One not addicted to drugs/alcohol/porn/etc.
One not tied to Mama’s apron
One without an ex-wife…or 2…or 3…
One without a bunch of kids with different women, none of which he was married to
One free to marry in the Church
One willing to show up for Mass
One without STD’s
One without control/abuse issues
One without an arrest record

Guess that’s why I’m still single and gave up looking YEARS AGO! 😦 But, that’s ok. I have a peaceful life.
 
My husband was truly a prince charming. He listened to me talk for a whole year and I didn’t even notice him. Then he started to get me to like him. He is so talented and self-assured and thought I was the most beautiful girl in the world.
Then he told me that he would like to marry me, but he was only going to marry a Catholic. Would I read up on the Catholic Church and its teachings and discuss it with him. I was heartbroken because I considered Catholics to be a non-Christian cult group like the Mormons. So I prayed, Lord I don’t want to hurt you or go away from you. Show me what you want. So I read a little and saw that Catholics also believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and that he is God and in the Holy Trinity. So I could in good conscience become Catholic although with reservations about some of the teachings. My third conversion came later after marriage. So I am grateful he stood his ground for the Faith.
 
I met my fiancee in Junior High School when I was 13. Let’s just say we did not hit it off well! We went through a few rounds of friends and enemies as I pined for him and he barely noticed me. I even tried to hook him up with a friend of mine that he liked just so he’d be happy. Anyway, fortunately for me that didn’t work out and we are getting married at the end of this year. What I like most about him is his capacity to love. He has a great heart and is very loyal to family. Oh, and the perks of having my own personal mechanic can’t be left unsaid!👍 Oh, yeah.
 
WhatMeWorry … I think your list was reasonable… but tell me, did you already give up? I believe there must be many men out there in the Body of Christ who can live up to these standards so dont give up hope 👍 …

As for me my “list” goes like this:

Personality. It’s that which is most important… I could find someone who is utterly Catholic but who doesn’t have that connection with me that I need and then his Catholicism would not help him enter my heart in the special way.
Part of that personality would be passion… I can’t imagine coupling up with a man who does not have passion - which I have - both when it come to love and when it comes to fighting the good fight of truth and visions.

That being said my main criteria is a Christian who has a personal faith and who walks with the Lord as a personal friend. A Catholic man meeting these criteria would be a fantastic gift, but I don’t have a lot of chances of meeting young Catholic men where I live…

One of the ladies inhere said that all the ducks should be lined up and ready when you marry… something like that (sorry, I am not American;) and I took that as a great advice which is why I also think your list is reasonable because we talk about a man who would be bound to me for the rest of my life as husband and hopefully father… I would never take that lightly.

Grace 🙂
 
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