Pornography and Masturbation

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Readthebeads

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Hello im new to the site, I was received into the church through RCIA this last easter vidgil and have found something that often kicks me hard. I have had an addiction to pornography/masturbation for years. Often the smallest thought will trigger me to do this and afterwords I am overcome with guilt. I’m scared to death of living in mortal sin and that I’ll die before I reach confession, that my act of contrition isn’t enough. I pray my rosary daily and often pray when I get the urge but it just doesn’t seem to quell the flames of lust. I have installed covenant eyes on my phone and my laptop but this last time I stole my Fiancé’s IPad. What should I do if I cannot reach the confessional at the moment and if I die will I go to hell?
 
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Praying for you,that you be brave enough now to get some professional help…and there is so much out there
I’ve realised.You’ve named it,it’s an addiction and like any addiction you really need the proper help and support.All the best and God bless.
 
Pray the Act of Contrition and make an appointment with a priest for confession. I suggest making an appointment for two reasons: You may be able to schedule it sooner than the regularly scheduled confession tines and it will allow you time to talk to the priest about this, the person you need to take this concern to, not people on the internet.
 
Readthebeads said:
guilt
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So have you read this in the Catechism?:
1735 Imputability and responsibility for an action can be diminished or even nullified by ignorance, inadvertence, duress, fear, habit, inordinate attachments, and other psychological or social factors.

1860 … The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. …

2352 … To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.
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I find having a internet family filter on my phone (or computer) really helps - it means you have to consciously turn it off to be able to view anything of that nature.

It’s really hard to stop any addiction, but this is a step you can take to mean that its not just a couple of clicks away on your phone.

There was an app I downloaded which you updated everyday how you are feeling and if you had been tempted, it also means you would have a stream of “x” days without doing it, just a bit more motivation not to break the streak
 
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No, it is pretty much the norm, though a lot of people find the holidays stressful. Is this not a struggle where you come from? I see you have only been with us a couple of days.
 
What?! Are you saying the Orthodox don’t recognize the terrible sin that is masturbation as sinful?!

I agree, there’s sooo many threads about this. We should sticky one or something so that it’s always at the top since so many people have issues with it.
 
Maybe. It depends on your contrition and your culpability. In general avoid sin.

You say you pray the Rosary. When? Do it around the time that you normally fall into this sin if there is one. Or does it just differ?
Perhaps pray to God for much more Grace than necessary to avoid this sin.

Pray the Rosary every day, if you need to kick it up then do more (for instance, if you say 5 decades a day now maybe kick it up to 10 or 15).
If it’s when you’re alone, then avoid being alone.
Surround yourself in Holy icons. Have a Crucifix or a picture of Mary nearby always. Books can be an easy way to do this without seeming weird.

At the beginning of temptation, so for you when you start thinking of that triggering thought, pray to God for Grace to not fall into sin. Think of Jesus Christ crucified in excruciating detail. Strike yourself (lightly, just enough to get your mind off the thought but not near enough to hurt you; naturally only parts that can be hit and not your head or anything like that). Do this every single time the triggering thoughts come.

As soon as you can, go to confession and make a good confession, knowing that you are no longer held by this sin. You are free from sin, be sure to persist on this.

Perhaps get a confession but facing the priest, to where you can see each other. Always go to the same priest. You don’t want to keep confessing the same sin every time to someone who sees you, do you?

Also mentally pray to Jesus, entrust all to God. Pray in your own words. This can be right before you go to bed.
God bless
 
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Yes, this could be because some may not know about it, so telling them to not do it could introduce the concept to them in the first place, so I can understand not talking about it.
 
@readthebeads hasn’t had his question answered yet, from what I can see.

Will he go to hell?

So far as I can answer–the answer is: We don’t know. We don’t know who is in hell. We can’t say for sure whether Hitler, for example, is in hell. Theoretically, theologically, mortal sin is a bad thing to have marked against you. But if we can’t say whether Pol Pot or Stalin or Hitler or Jeffrey Dahmer is in hell, how can we know that you’d go to hell for masturbating?

We can’t.

This is what I’ve learned from CAF. Take it for what it’s worth.
 
Masturbation and porn versus being in a purely spiritual state is a lot like having two personalities that do not communicate too well! Still, sex can be very dangerous, even for married couples. Keep confessing it as a serious sin. Seek God’s help, and know that simply repressing sexual desires is dangerous. Keep the desires in the conscious part of your mind and do not give into them. It’s a form of mental suffering that you can offer up to God as a sacrifice or for the intercession of someone you love.
 
i think because it’s a sin to imagine to make out with a woman (or women) but in the other hand, women is so tempting

it’s so hard to refuse the tempations of women

tbh
 
Readthebeads said:
I’m scared to death of living in mortal sin and that I’ll die before I reach confession, that my act of contrition isn’t enough
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This is scrupulosity. An anxiety disorder. You need professional help. A free website isn’t going to help and will most likely make it worse.
 
OP, many have said this but I’ll reiterate.
I too struggle with this sin. Years of wanton living and believing it was “normal” led to an addiction.
Others have posted what the catechism says about culpability so that’s already out there.
It’s still a struggle for me, but with prayer and study of the word, God has helped me. I find it helps immensely to figure out when the times of worst temptation occur and deliberately fill those times with something spiritual. My phone has always been a big stumbling block, but if I use it during those times to read about the saints, the daily Mass readings, or watch apologetics videos, the Lord bolsters me against the temptation.
First and foremost though, don’t rely on your own strength, and don’t worry about it all the time.
Good Bless
 
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