Pornography

[altosaxplayer33]

I recently found out that one of my friends is addicted to pornography. I’m a Catholic and they’re not. How do I help them stop their addiction without using just what the Catholic Church teaches?

 

[Grace_and_Glory]

First of all, I would recommend that you pray for this person. This will not only help your friend, but it will also help you keep a loving attitude towards your friend by keeping you in a relationship with God.

Second, I would talk to your friend (I’m assuming it’s a male). I don’t know how much of this you may already know, but ask him if he wants to break free of his addiction. If he does, then you can let him know you will help him in any way possible. If he is willing, ask him to be accountable to you by letting you know when he has fallen; I have heard that this is one of the best tools to help people addicted to pornography. If you do this, be patient with him. If he truly wants to be free of his addiction, he will feel bad when he falls back into it. Encourage him when he makes progress, even if it seems to be only in small steps.

If he does not admit that his addiction to pornography is a problem, ask him why he sees it as a good use of his time and energy. One does not have to be Catholic to see that pornography objectifies women. You could tell him (gently) that pornography does objectify women. If he does not agree, ask him if he cares about the women in pornography as anything more than tools for his own pleasure. Also ask him if he would want a woman he cares about, such as a sister, mother, female friend, etc. to be looked at the way he looks at the women in pornographic materials.

I hope this helps even a little bit. I myself have not had to deal with this, but I know people who have, and I hope you and your friend can benefit from their experience.

 

[Chris_W]

Is your friend a person of another faith, agnostic, athiest, or what?

 

[JLove]

I’m not so sure you can. Does your friend hold to any particular faith? If he doesn’t then he won’t view it as an addition or wrong for that matter, and so you won’t really be able to help him.

 

[Chris_W]

JLove:

I’m not so sure you can. Does your friend hold to any particular faith? If he doesn’t then he won’t view it as an addition or wrong for that matter, and so you won’t really be able to help him.

I asked the same question, and it will help to know the answer, but I’m not sure I agree with your conclusion. It seems to me, one can still appeal to the friend from the aspect of self esteem (many men are quite ashamed of it), general addiction (slavery to it), the time and money is consumes, affects on family (if applicable), how it does not satisfy, but instead leaves the person more miserable than before, etc.

 

[Timidity]

altosaxplayer33:

I recently found out that one of my friends is addicted to pornography. I’m a Catholic and they’re not.

How do you know that it’s a genuine addiction and not just a tasteless pasttime?

 

[puzzleannie]

when the topic comes up, react in disgust against the offense (not the person) just as you would if he used blasphemous language, told racists jokes, demeaned women or did anything else offensive. No need for a sermon, just relate briefly the fact that it is morally wrong and offensive. The person who sins is damaged, whether or not they believe the act is a sin. If he picked up a jug of koolaid you knew to contain poison, would you not warn him not to drink (and if possible remove the source of the poison) as an act of charity and friendship?

 

[jrabs]

I think prayer is the only way you can help - and with prayer, anything is possible.
I tend to agree that it may be difficult to persuade people this is sinful and harmful because the secular world does not see anything wrong with this in general. That seems apparent by the trend towards more sexually explicit ads, tv, movies, and songs.
It’s hard to overcome this when soft porn is infiltrating everyday life.

Pray pray pray

 

[Trelow]

www.dads.org has some good resources.

As someone who has struggled with this I know how tough it is to overcome. The best medicine? The daily rosary. Now getting them to take the medicine is another story.

 

[MichaelTDoyle]

I agree. Pray the Rosary for him. Buy him a Rosary and a booklet on how to pray it.

 

[Tlaloc]

JLove:

I’m not so sure you can. Does your friend hold to any particular faith? If he doesn’t then he won’t view it as an addition or wrong for that matter, and so you won’t really be able to help him.

As Chris said you are long jumping to a conclusion here. Addiction isn’t a religious concept, it’s a biological and psychological one. Last time I checked Atheists believed in those as much as anyone else. Secondly there are certainly non-religious people who believe pornography to be wrong. Morals are also not the exclusive purview of religions.

To the original poster:
Does your friend think he/she has a problem or is it your conclusion? Addiction issues can’t be treated unless the addict sees it as a problem as a general rule.

 

[FionnualaOC]

What about the men’s magazines that are in all the shops nowadays? I’m not talking the obvious ones like Playboy, etc… but the ones that cover everything that interests men - from cars to sport to women…
I believe that most of these are a form of pornography and I am very concerned when I see young boys aged 13+ going in to buy these. I wrote a letter to the newspaper once complaining about these magazines being displayed in shop windows and on the lower shelves of the newsagents. But you can guess the reaction I got…
Oh, and by-the-way, some of the women’s magazines are just as bad…