Post-Communist Vent

[TheRealJuliane]

I’m sorry I really don’t see how this is communist as much as its “old biddie” who has a government role.

I don’t know how many moms can attest to similar treatment in a small town. Nobody sais “molly coddling” anymore. But there was a time if you didn’t let a baby cry it out, didn’t spank a toddler or infant, potty train by 2, have a child drinking out of a glass by 1, and other silly things you were considered a horrible parent. And everyone, from storekeepers to school had to put their 2 cents in.

Most times the exams are well intended and to catch problems that parents may miss. And most times they allow you to use your own dr. I’ve never heard of a forced exam where you aren’t able to decide the practitioner.

You are aware that your younger daughter is behind in her speech. Why are you getting upset over this fact?

You are also putting words into the social workers mouth “neglectful and evil” because your child had stayed home. Why can’t it just be that she is concerned that a child who’s only encountered adults and a little sibling for the most part will have a hard time adjusting… especially one that wasn’t responding well.

Why does this make things communist and not just mainstream? I know 3 6 year olds well. One goes to public school, lives in an abysmal household with her single mom, her 3 siblings with different fathers, her aunt and 3 cousins with different fathers and her grandmother who has a infant.
The second is being raised by a single Catholic mother who’s spouse abandoned her.
The third is a little boy, middle of 5 who’s being home-schooled.

The little girl in public school is a true gem, great imagination, listens well, very sweet and a pleasure to be around. She is going places, despite her horrible background.
The second girl is a firecracker, funny and intelligent, and all over the place. Despite going being in daycare as an infant, pre-k and kindergarten even in First grade she still doesn’t listen to anything, and isn’t great at playing well in a group.
The little boy is very sweet but very scattered. He loves groups and is a natural leader. Being home-schooled with 2 older siblings he doesn’t often get to excercize this role and no doubt for better or worse he will develop differently being at home than in a peer group.

I fail to see how programs meant for child 1 would harm child 2 or 3. In-fact, I can only see benefits for child one and perks for child 2 and 3 as their parents are more aware of any surprise issues.

All of this is irrelevant to the OP’s statement. She lives in a formerly Communist country. She’s explaining her experience, which most of us have never been in. Are you a Communist apologist or what? You have 7 posts on this forum, usually it’s a good idea not to start arguing with other posters straight away.

 

[mdleagedguy]

LitCrit, it sounds like you are a great parent. Do what your husband says and ignore the vile creature you were forced to take your children to see.

 

[Aggies08]

Does this Dr exert any actual control over your family or child?

If not, I’d probably blow it off.

It sounds like you are aware of the issues they did bring up, speech wise, and so I assume you are working on them.

Ours was a late talker (not until 3ish), IS in a wonderful daycare for 5 hrs a day (2 of those are nap). We worked with her a lot on talking, just the usual “Can you say XYZ” before giving it to her.

 

[Litcrit]

You don’t. :hug1:

Thanks. :hug1:

 

[Litcrit]

LitCrit,
Listen to your husband, who knows both you and the situation in your country better than we do!

I have heard so many mothers say similar things–and I myself was worried when they counted the bruises on my 2yo’s legs: lack of bruises can mean the parents aren’t letting them explore enough, too many can indicate all sorts of things including too much Tylenol.

As a homeschooler, I know there are gaps in everyone’s education. My kids don’t know the rules of football, but other kids don’t know how to build and roof sheds. Your child may not know the days of the week, but the child down the street’s mother forgot to teach her child a second language… and so it goes.

Anyway, some medical practitioners are just nasty like that. No matter what field they are in, they like to intimidate people and feel powerful. Do your best to let their comments roll off your back, say a prayer for them, and move along.

{{{{Hugs}}}} I know those are horrible experiences. Maybe your husband can take them in next time

(I also think it is very cool that you do what you do!)

Annie

Thank you! I’ll never know the rules to any sports, although this was a mandatory part of my PE classes - who needs that?

I think it’s cool that your children know how to build!

She actually now does know the days of the week - I taught her yesterday. It took all of 90 seconds.

 

[Litcrit]

It may be common, but it is also proven to be false.

In some places it is, but apparantly it is still expected where the OP lives as that is precisely what the OP was expected to do, to blindly hand their child over to some program without being given any information about the program itself.

Really? The point isn’t that the OP is refusing to teach onomatopoeic words but rather that she is being told she is a bad parent because she just didn’t happen to teach them.

Thank you, this is exactly what I’ve been trying to say.

Your husband sounds like a wise and wonderful person. Go get a great big hug from him for being a good mom.

Thank you, that’s sweet.

All of this is irrelevant to the OP’s statement. She lives in a formerly Communist country. She’s explaining her experience, which most of us have never been in.

Yes - I realize it’s difficult to imagine being so afraid and sheepish in front of a person in a position of authority in a system that still doesn’t seem to think parents have anything of value to contribute to a child’s upbringing.

LitCrit, it sounds like you are a great parent. Do what your husband says and ignore the vile creature you were forced to take your children to see.

Thank you.

Does this Dr exert any actual control over your family or child?

If not, I’d probably blow it off.

It sounds like you are aware of the issues they did bring up, speech wise, and so I assume you are working on them.

Ours was a late talker (not until 3ish), IS in a wonderful daycare for 5 hrs a day (2 of those are nap). We worked with her a lot on talking, just the usual “Can you say XYZ” before giving it to her.

I don’t know - I’m just used to obeying people in positions of authority and being afraid of them.

The issue is really simply being a relatively late talker - she only really started uttering words around age 2, and can now say more than 200 words at age 2.5 (and is learning at a very fast pace now that she’s decided speaking is a useful skill after all). The official (very ambitious) guidelines state she should be saying 500-1000 at her age. According to other guidelines (like this here) I shouldn’t “worry too much”. We do talk to her a lot about the things we do and see, and repeat words several times.

 

[Litcrit]

What is specifically Communist about the whole thing is primarily the idea behind it that parents simply cannot provide an adequate environment for even a very small child to learn, develop, and become socialized in - only gov’t institutions can do that. A 2 yo who doesn’t spend 8 hours in an institution (and these look like tiny prisons) is automatically deemed to be somehow deprived of something essential.

 

[TC2]

Litcrit, as a stay at home, soon to be homeschooling (but don’t I school him now, everyday, somehow?) mom of a 4 year old, and an American, your experience freaks me right out.

The collective? Er, no thank you.
I’d listen to your husband and just stick to your principles, you sound
like an awesome mom!

 

[Litcrit]

Litcrit, as a stay at home, soon to be homeschooling (but don’t I school him now, everyday, somehow?) mom of a 4 year old, and an American, your experience freaks me right out.

The collective? Er, no thank you.
I’d listen to your husband and just stick to your principles, you sound
like an awesome mom!

Thank you, TC!

I think it’s the repeated use of “the collective” that creeped me out the most as well.

As a native who went to one of these institutions as a child, the word conjures up the images of crabby uniformed smoking old ladies, the smell of chlorine and bad food in big military-like pots, mandatory long “naps” (few kids actually slept; but we all had to lie perfectly still for an eternity while they had coffee and gossiped), and the feelings of dread and nausea.

 

[TC2]

I think my recent reading of “Tortured for Christ” by Richard Wurmbrand didn’t help any, lol.
He speaks of the communist collective many times, and it’s never a good thing. Def got my hackles up when you mentioned it!

“The collective”. Sounds like a group of brainwashed bots doing whatever their leader tells them without individual thought (which communists hate). Ugh. Need brain bleach!

Just do what’s right and Godly for your child, and try not to give ‘them’ the ‘hairy eyeball’ too much! lol

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Not at all. A lot of Americans don’t understand what Communism is, although we are hovering dangerously close to it ourselves.

I understand. My neighbors were Soviet refugees.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

What is specifically Communist about the whole thing is primarily the idea behind it that parents simply cannot provide an adequate environment for even a very small child to learn, develop, and become socialized in - only gov’t institutions can do that. A 2 yo who doesn’t spend 8 hours in an institution (and these look like tiny prisons) is automatically deemed to be somehow deprived of something essential.

Here in the US, we actually have that mentality, but the communist philosophy behind it is more hidden. It is that a societal institution is more competent to care for your children than you are. The public schools are very steeped in that mentality, to the point where many parents cannot begin to fathom home schooling. And our government has its hands in so many people’s lives that they are like slaves to the State. Then we also now have the belief that anyone who gets ahead has somehow done so through greed and theft, and that a person who doesn’t have as much wealth is entitled to take someone else’s wealth. So many of the elements of Communism but hidden under the “freedom” of our former Republic…

 

[Della]

Health professionals can be intimidating in the USA, as well. Some are cold and overly precise–giving you the impression all they care about is getting the facts and not about you or your well being. They seem to be the minority, but I’ve run into a few in my lifetime. I grew up believing that doctors were godlike creatures who could make no mistakes, as well. That belief killed my mother because her doctor was so lax about her health and never listened to her concerns. She might still be alive except for that. I’ve learned to be more discerning because of it.

Don’t let anyone tell you you’re a bad parent because your lifestyle and decisions for your children don’t line up with Communist/Nazi/Socialist/whatever ideology. Rearing children is not an exact science nor should it be subject to the state or anyone’s ideologies. Rather, as you are doing, it should be according to the needs of the child in a loving home with loving parents as God intended it to be.

I usually avoid using pejorative names for anyone, but I was so disgusted by the way those nurses treated you and your daughters the word “biddies” just wrote itself. Truly though, they are to be pitied because they actually believe all that nonsense–nonsense that our country has embraced, as TheRealJuliane cited, sad to say. I only pray their hearts unthaw and their minds be opened before they stand before God, as we all must do one day. God have mercy on us all! And God bless you and your family.