Postpartum NFP and breastfeeding

[maggie2]

Is there an NFP sticky thread around here somewhere?

A couple things…
I am 6 weeks postpartum and wondering about the effectiveness of NFP while I’m breastfeeding. I know there are certain criteria that need to be met (frequent nursing, no bottles, etc), to prevent fertility, but was also wondering if the use of ovulation tests can be an effective back-up for prevention of pregnancy.

Dh is definately not too keen about us using NFP, and he is freaked out about the possibility of having a fourth child right now. But he is willing to learn about it and possibly take a class. He keeps telling me a story about how his friend spoke to a priest one time with concerns about having more children (they have 4), and the priest said something along the lines of ‘well, you HAVE been open to having children, so it’s okay for you to get a vasectomy now’! So dh basically wants a vasectomy now because he thinks we’ve kept up our end of the bargain…

Anyway, I’m just wondering what exactly to do… what happens when one partner is not on board with NFP? If I explain to dh all the info about breastfeeding and infertility, and he agrees, and then we get pregnant… goodness… that would really cause some issues here… I don’t want to force him into a lifestyle that he’s not really accepting of, and I don’t want to withhold myself, but what do you do? Is it okay to use unacceptable prevention methods (condom, etc.) until both partners are willing to practice NFP? If dh refuses NFP, what do I do?


What should we do in the interim while he’s deciding if he wants to try NFP?

 

[bpbasilphx]

I think it’s a good idea for ALL women to be familiar with NFP.

It’s only smart to know what’s normal with the body and how it acts during the reproductive cycle.

I’m not a prophet nor the son of a prophet, but it would not surprise to to hear down the line that women who practice NFP can discover anomalies that could become malignant if they were discovered later.

 

[maggie2]

huh

I agree with you though - I think women should know more about their bodies and reproductive cycles… it’s so important for many reasons!

I’m really looking for some advice here, though! Has anyone been in a similar situation to what I described? How did you compromise with your husband if he didn’t want to do NFP? Would ovulation test kits be a good addition to the practice? Do these work during breastfeeding if your cycles have not returned or are irregular?

 

[budgie2]

Certainly a condom especially a non-spermicidal condom is a lesser sin than vasectomy so if it helps delay your husband’s plans for a vasectomy or allows you to reconsider then it might be helpful. There are also fertility monitors on the market such as Clearblue and also Ovacue which is a saliva testing monitor which might be helpful although experienced NFPers use observations of cervical mucus to monitor approaching fertility. Here’s a website on the Billings method which relies only on cervical mucus observation:

woomb.org/bom/index.html

The problem with ovulation test sticks is that they cannot make you aware of approaching fertility. A woman is fertile approximately 5 days prior to ovulation although she is at most risk of conceiving within 3 days of ovulation as sperm survives in the woman’s cervical mucus. In order for sperm to survive a woman needs to produce fertile type cervical mucus which is sperm-friendly and this is what is monitored in the Billings Method.

 

[Jennifer_J]

The Marquette Model of NFP uses a fertility monitor along with other fertility signs:
nfp.marquette.edu/

I would suggest that your dh was given poor advice from a friend. Each act of intercourse must be ordered to procreation (ie completed in the normal fashion without any chemical or physical barriers)–even if it’s objectively not fertile. Being “open to life” is really not the point. It’s the unaltered act that is the point. I’d suggest he find a good, faithful priest and have a conversation there. Also, he and you might want to check out omsoul.com/ esp under TOPICS (Contraception, Contracpetion-why not, Sterilization and Reversal and Theology of the Body)
You both would do a service to your marriage to read Theology of the Body together.

 

[InMarysArmy]

Hi Maggie! I think I can be helpful to you, since I was in your shoes not too long ago! I had my 4th baby in March 08…for medical reasons it was important that I didn’t get pregnant for at least a year (as per my doctor). SO, I will first tell you that YES NFP does work while breastfeeding…I am proof because my baby is almost 15 months old and I still haven’t become pregnant (and it isn’t because my husband and I don’t have relations!) I breastfed all my babies and with the special circumstances with my last baby, I knew I would have to do more research on NFP while breastfeeding because there are women who do become pregnant while nursing. I found 2 amazing books by Sheila Kippley…“Breastfeeding and natural child spacing” and “Catholic Motherhood” She has developed the model for Catholic families wanting to remain faithful to Church teaching and has shown through many proofs that the method of ecological breastfeeding does in fact work…it works because it is GOD’S plan!!! We seem to be the only creatures on the planet confused about how to feed our babies!! What I’ve learned is that breastfeeding is not only a feeding method, but GOD’S plan of bonding, nurturing and YES…NATURAL spacing between children. SO, why do some nursing women get pregnant quickly and others (like myself, go a year or LONGER without even a period returning?!) The answer is understanding ecological breastfeeding compared to cultural breastfeeding. The other part is understanding attachment parenting. Dr. Sears wrote a great book called “Attachment parenting” that explains the many benefits! I was amazed!..I am also able to report results back to newer mothers because I have 4 children and raised they all with attachment parenting…I have NO regrets!
SO, Maggie…sorry for my rambling! YES, breastfeeding can be implemented with NFP, but you have to committ yourself to ecological breastfeeding. Once the baby starts soilds…you will then have to start watching for signs of returning fertility…changes in cervial mucous or the return of your period…which is the biggest indicator that your fertility is waking up again. I didn’t get a period until my baby was 13 months old! He started solids slowly at 6 months. I would recommend reading Sheila Kippley’s books…they helped me very much! My baby is now in the weaning process, so I have started temping and doing regular NFP again. I know it can be hard getting our husbands to get on board…but I will tell you, my husband was skeptical at first, but NOW HE is promoting NFP and breastfeeding because he has seen how wonderful it has been in our family and I will also tell you…our marriage has NEVER been better! I am so glad we decided to listen to God’s plan!!..His plans are always better than ours!! Good Luck and God Bless you!!

 

[Em_in_FL]

Yes yes yes! NFP works while breastfeeding! It’s the hardest time to learn it, though, but it DOES WORK! I just tracked my returning fertility for the 3rd time using NFP while BF’ing!
(And yes, all our children were NFPlanned!)
Here are some fabulous resources:
nfpandmore.com/ - there’s a free how-to guide online and free charts to download.
ccli.org/ - has a take-home course you can purchase
tcoyf.com/ - fabulous book! Not catholic, so ignore the parts about using condoms during the fertile phase (just abstain), but great book!

The MAIN signs you are going to want to track while BF’ing are the cervical mucous and your cervical position. I also recommend purchasing a basal body thermometer at your local drug store - the basal body temperature is a secondary sign that verifies your ovulation after you’ve already detected it using the primary signs of mucous and cervical position.
I know there are portions of those links/books about that talk about Ecological BF’ing in order to delay your fertility, but even if you follow all those “rules”, it is only statistically accurate for 6 months… after that you’ll need to use the sympto-thermal method of NFP for greater statistical avoidance of pregnancy anyway, so you may as well learn it in the first 6 months anyway.
(I’ve never followed the Ecological BF’ing rules, personally)

HTH!.. Let me know if you have any questions!

 

[Jennifer_J]

Actually, and I love ecological breastfeeding and have used it, for SOME women, fertility returns early EVEN WITH ECOLOGICAL BREASTFEEDING. If you have serious need to delay pregnancy, then you should start charting your fertility signs now. The most telling fertility sign for most women while breastfeeding is a change in the mucous. Some women have a constant mucous patch which is a basic infertile pattern–what you are looking for is a CHANGE in the mucous. I’m thinking that the addition of the fertility monitor per the Marquette Method would be VERY helpful here. You could have months and months of infertility if you use ecological breastfeeding, or not. I get about 10 months of no cycles and a few more of infertile cycles, but have never gone more than a year. And I follow all 7 standards.

Prayers for you!

 

[budgie2]

Hi Maggie! I think I can be helpful to you, since I was in your shoes not too long ago! I had my 4th baby in March 08…for medical reasons it was important that I didn’t get pregnant for at least a year (as per my doctor). SO, I will first tell you that YES NFP does work while breastfeeding…I am proof because my baby is almost 15 months old and I still haven’t become pregnant (and it isn’t because my husband and I don’t have relations!) I breastfed all my babies and with the special circumstances with my last baby, I knew I would have to do more research on NFP while breastfeeding because there are women who do become pregnant while nursing. I found 2 amazing books by Sheila Kippley…“Breastfeeding and natural child spacing” and “Catholic Motherhood” She has developed the model for Catholic families wanting to remain faithful to Church teaching and has shown through many proofs that the method of ecological breastfeeding does in fact work…it works because it is GOD’S plan!!! We seem to be the only creatures on the planet confused about how to feed our babies!! What I’ve learned is that breastfeeding is not only a feeding method, but GOD’S plan of bonding, nurturing and YES…NATURAL spacing between children. SO, why do some nursing women get pregnant quickly and others (like myself, go a year or LONGER without even a period returning?!) The answer is understanding ecological breastfeeding compared to cultural breastfeeding. The other part is understanding attachment parenting. Dr. Sears wrote a great book called “Attachment parenting” that explains the many benefits! I was amazed!..I am also able to report results back to newer mothers because I have 4 children and raised they all with attachment parenting…I have NO regrets!
SO, Maggie…sorry for my rambling! YES, breastfeeding can be implemented with NFP, but you have to committ yourself to ecological breastfeeding. Once the baby starts soilds…you will then have to start watching for signs of returning fertility…changes in cervial mucous or the return of your period…which is the biggest indicator that your fertility is waking up again. I didn’t get a period until my baby was 13 months old! He started solids slowly at 6 months. I would recommend reading Sheila Kippley’s books…they helped me very much! My baby is now in the weaning process, so I have started temping and doing regular NFP again. I know it can be hard getting our husbands to get on board…but I will tell you, my husband was skeptical at first, but NOW HE is promoting NFP and breastfeeding because he has seen how wonderful it has been in our family and I will also tell you…our marriage has NEVER been better! I am so glad we decided to listen to God’s plan!!..His plans are always better than ours!! Good Luck and God Bless you!!

I read Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood whilst I was pregnant but didn’t read the other book by Sheila Kippley, Ecological Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing. I tried to follow the rules of Ecological Breastfeeding but it went wrong for me. My child lost too much weight and I was referred to a paediatrician. Not all women can breastfeed successfully. My gran couldn’t breastfeed past two weeks and was told to go on to bottles by her doctor. I went on to bottles and breast pumping was too much hard work. So work with your midwife and always take your midwife’s advice. Personally I’d top up with bottles in the first two week, so 3 bottles a day. My mum did this and she went on to breastfeed successfully and had lactational amenorrhoea.

 

[kage_ar]

Certainly a condom especially a non-spermicidal condom is a lesser sin than vasectomy so if it helps delay your husband’s plans for a vasectomy or allows you to reconsider then it might be helpful.

Budgie, there you go again, writing the catechism according to Budgie.

 

[just_me_1]

oof good thread, I’m right where you are right now too. we finally found a seminar in a couple weeks and that should help, but it has to be hard to chart and all that with no cycles! I’m not sure I trust BFing alone either! yikes, another one right now would put us right in the poorhouse!

so I’m no help at all, sorry, but tuning into this one for my situation too! maybe we can learn this thing together!

 

[perfectpeach]

in my opinion, breastfeeding and NFP are a horrible combination. I am currently pregnant. I became pregnant while breastfeeding my son before my menses returned.

I will either not have intercourse with my husband until menstruation returns or not breastfeed… can’t decide.

 

[Jennifer_J]

in my opinion, breastfeeding and NFP are a horrible combination. I am currently pregnant. I became pregnant while breastfeeding my son before my menses returned.

I will either not have intercourse with my husband until menstruation returns or not breastfeed… can’t decide.

While it can be difficult, it’s not impossible. Taking a referesher course or a course in postpartem fertility return is a good idea. Tracking your fertility from the beginning is also a good idea, for couples who really need to space babies. Pay special attention to any CHANGE in the mucous. Cervix position can also be helpful. As I mentioned above the Marquette Method adds a fertility monitor. There are other such devices that monitor hormone levels and such…LadyComp, I think? naturalmethods.com
Ovacue www.ovacue.com
Bioself bioself.com/

I hope that you don’t give up breastfeeding because of this. It’s such a gift to the baby. However, I understand how you would be hesitant. Were you charting at all when you got pregnant while breastfeeding? Were you following all 7 standards of ecological breastfeeding (it’s okay if you weren’t, but you have to know to chart if you aren’t)? How old was your baby (ie was it an early return of fertility)? Maybe talk to your NFP teaching couple and see if they can offer you any support or ideas…or try forums.delphiforums.com and look for the forum called NFPTALK. It is a Catholic NFP discussion forum and many women there are instructors for the various methods and can probably give you really good advice.

God bless!

 

[budgie2]

While it can be difficult, it’s not impossible. Taking a referesher course or a course in postpartem fertility return is a good idea. Tracking your fertility from the beginning is also a good idea, for couples who really need to space babies. Pay special attention to any CHANGE in the mucous. Cervix position can also be helpful. As I mentioned above the Marquette Method adds a fertility monitor. There are other such devices that monitor hormone levels and such…LadyComp, I think? naturalmethods.com
Ovacue www.ovacue.com
Bioself bioself.com/

I hope that you don’t give up breastfeeding because of this. It’s such a gift to the baby. However, I understand how you would be hesitant. Were you charting at all when you got pregnant while breastfeeding? Were you following all 7 standards of ecological breastfeeding (it’s okay if you weren’t, but you have to know to chart if you aren’t)? How old was your baby (ie was it an early return of fertility)? Maybe talk to your NFP teaching couple and see if they can offer you any support or ideas…or try forums.delphiforums.com and look for the forum called NFPTALK. It is a Catholic NFP discussion forum and many women there are instructors for the various methods and can probably give you really good advice.

God bless!

What’s the Marquette method? Never heard of it.

I honestly believe though that NFP is not essential and would only use it in severe circumstance, except for breastfeeding which primarily is to feed a baby. I believe that we can pray about family planning decisions to God as it is in God’s hands who he creates. I’ve prayed for five children and so far I am on track. It took me five years to have my first baby, and I’ve got another 22 years till my menopause so a baby every five years will suit me fine. I’ll probably have quads or something.

 

[Jennifer_J]

What’s the Marquette method? Never heard of it.

I honestly believe though that NFP is not essential and would only use it in severe circumstance, except for breastfeeding which primarily is to feed a baby. I believe that we can pray about family planning decisions to God as it is in God’s hands who he creates. I’ve prayed for five children and so far I am on track. It took me five years to have my first baby, and I’ve got another 22 years till my menopause so a baby every five years will suit me fine. I’ll probably have quads or something.

The Marquette method is a form of NFP that adds a fertility monitor to the other fertility awareness signs. nfp.marquette.edu/

NFP is essential for some families and less essential for others. Some women NEED spacing that even ecological breastfeeding doesn’t give them. While I agree it shouldn’t be used for any old reason, I have to trust that families are making wise choices and not assume they aren’t. The reasons need to be grave/serious/just–not just life and limb–but good solid reasons. Not all women get delayed return of fertility using just breastfeeding. Many of us are much more fertile than you. My first 2 are 2 1/2 years apart and then the middle 3 are around 17 months apart then back to 2 years apart…if I didn’t use NFP to space pregnancies I’d be pregnant that much faster.

 

[kage_ar]

in my opinion, breastfeeding and NFP are a horrible combination. I am currently pregnant. I became pregnant while breastfeeding my son before my menses returned.

I will either not have intercourse with my husband until menstruation returns or not breastfeed… can’t decide.

Google “ecological breastfeeding”. That is the kind of breastfeeding that people speak of when they have delayed return of fertility. Nothing but the breast, nursing on demand, etc.

Each type of NFP has postpartum rules. Have you talked to an expert in the type of NFP you use?

 

[New_at_this]

Hello ,

Despite not following all the rules of ecological breastfeeding i have had lactational amennorrhea both times for longer than 6 mths

despite that am not confortable with it so i started billings at 8 wkb pp. i did look into many methods but the bottom line was that while breastfeeding cm would be your best bet

i empathise those who hate postpartum nfp … it is not easy and i have been frustrated on many occassions however it does work to tta

 

[Em_in_FL]

in my opinion, breastfeeding and NFP are a horrible combination. I am currently pregnant. I became pregnant while breastfeeding my son before my menses returned.

I will either not have intercourse with my husband until menstruation returns or not breastfeed… can’t decide.

I’m so sorry you’ve struggled with this time - it IS the most difficult time to use NFP, so I do understand your frustration.
But, it IS possible! I’ve done it 3 times now! You have to be EXTREMELY vigilant during this time - watching the signs closely and charting with great detail. I too have ovulated BEFORE having my first period (all 3 times!), but thankfully I was able to detect that ovulation and avoid conception during that fertile time.
Don’t give up! If you fall in this spot again of needing to avoid while breastfeeding then I encourage you to READ, READ, READ about as many NFP methods as possible. If one method just doesn’t seem to be making sense to you, then try another. CONSTANT education is essential. While breastfeeding, the most important signs are the mucous and cervical position - actually, I personally found the cervical position to be the MOST accurate sign for detecting that first ovulation… so read up on that!
Good luck - you’ll be in my prayers, and feel free to ask any questions!!!

 

[iluvmybabies]

My exhusband wasn’t into a lot of Catholic teachings and didn’t accept them at all…We had major issues about it because I was ignorant to all that the Catholic faith required of us… AND because I thought the whole point of marriage was to keep your husband happy I did just that and did many things that went against the church…Very disappointing… The best advice I can give you is for you to contact your priest…AND speak with him about your problems and the circumstances you are in…

As far as I know there is only a few acceptable “contraceptives” out there for Catholics, NFP and breatsfeeding… Not much but there they are…There are several forms of NFP I am still new with this and since I am not remarried not practicing them…And since I was told can’t have any more children really dreading everything I did not to have any…Now at my age, 30, feeling the dread of not having more children…And it hurts especially since I asked for this you know, always trying to avoid…just to keep my exhusband happy…Believe me I am now a single mom and do I regret not having more children they are GOD’s blessing and even though I am a low income family the happiness they give me is worth more than any amount of money out there…

Another thing you should try is counseling…And get better educated together about NFP…The more the 2 of you will learn and learn together the higher and better the chances are of you both succeeding and having a successful time with NFP…

Good luck and God bless!