T
terri_fortner
Guest
I need your prayers:
I have been dealing with this constant back and forth and no matter what I do its not good enough. I got treatment for my BPD was released form individual therapy and told that I had the skills I was using them and as longas I kept doing that I would be fine. But theat wasn’t good enough. The place I went to wsan’t good enough. I decided to go back to individual therapy so I would have a place to talk about them keeping the kids form coming home.
I often feel like this is my own fault, and in reality it is. I should have known it wasn’t about me getting my life back together so I could take care of the kids, it was about her having control over the situation. Last week she asked if I wanted to come by after the kids got out of school today to take tem trick or treating, I said of course I would love to. Last night at 9:00 I finally got back in touch with her. (She called and left a message earlier that day and I called and left a reply message. She called me back later that night and I called her back). I was out having dinner with my mom and my new baby. SO I know I didn’t cause a scene or mom would have said something. We were in a little place (Chef Santos) so the whole place would have heard me if I was being loud. But she asked if I wanted to pick the kids up from school and maybe take them around my neighborhood before I brought them to her house around 5. I said sure that I could do that. But it was explained to me, when she asked last week about it, that their Aunt Teri was going ot pick them up from school and bring them to Her house and get them ready for ToT. I asked if that had changed and she said no, Teri was going to her house to get the treats and everything ready to give out candy, but she could pick the kids up if I couldn’t. I told her I could it would be no problem.
Then she asked if I wanted to keep the kids tomorrow night. I told her I didn’t think it would be a good idea becasue I didn’t want to get them all hyped up and then tyr to get them to my house late at night after the big to do at her house for halloween. and that I had Mass at 7pm that I was planning on going to that as well. She got mad! Said that I was unreliable (less then a days notice and she expacts me to give her 48 hrs notice), and that she would just have to get a babysitter for the lkids and start paying someone. (Okay so what you asked to play Mommy thats what I did when I worked). She said I never know week to week what is going on (neither do I becasue I have to wait until I am told when I can get the kids, I have been asking as soon as I return them when can I get them again; but she wasn’t even there when I dropped the kids off last time), when you want the kids when you don’t, I gave you a list (yes a list for Septemeber its is October and now November, where are those lists of your work days?). I interrupted her and said I want them everyday all day. She said well that isn’t going to happen. I didn’t say anything (sometimes its best to keep it in your mind rather then say it), but if she wants to know that then she needs to act like the guardian she signed up to be and make the decision on when I can and cannot have them, and stop saying I can have them whenever I want becasue I so obviously can’t!
She then hung up on me and told me not to worry about it. Don’t worry about it I told Anna I would be there and I am going to be there. I waited a few minutes and I called her back and told her answering machine, because she wouldn’t pick up, that I would pick the kids up from school and they could stay with me tonight and tomorrow night and I will drop them at school friday since she told the kids that they would go to the movies on Friday. I had asked for Thrusday and friday night that was the response I got.
So now I am preplexed. do I show up to pick them up this afternoon. I will not be mean I will take the kids over there to trick or treat for a little bit, but not like she had wanted. When I leave they will leave with me, that is if they are staying with me. I just do not know what to do. And I could use some prayers becasue that is the only thing I can think of that works in this situation. She isn’t going to change. And i am trying my best and getting there little by little with the help of God.
Thanks,
I have been dealing with this constant back and forth and no matter what I do its not good enough. I got treatment for my BPD was released form individual therapy and told that I had the skills I was using them and as longas I kept doing that I would be fine. But theat wasn’t good enough. The place I went to wsan’t good enough. I decided to go back to individual therapy so I would have a place to talk about them keeping the kids form coming home.
I often feel like this is my own fault, and in reality it is. I should have known it wasn’t about me getting my life back together so I could take care of the kids, it was about her having control over the situation. Last week she asked if I wanted to come by after the kids got out of school today to take tem trick or treating, I said of course I would love to. Last night at 9:00 I finally got back in touch with her. (She called and left a message earlier that day and I called and left a reply message. She called me back later that night and I called her back). I was out having dinner with my mom and my new baby. SO I know I didn’t cause a scene or mom would have said something. We were in a little place (Chef Santos) so the whole place would have heard me if I was being loud. But she asked if I wanted to pick the kids up from school and maybe take them around my neighborhood before I brought them to her house around 5. I said sure that I could do that. But it was explained to me, when she asked last week about it, that their Aunt Teri was going ot pick them up from school and bring them to Her house and get them ready for ToT. I asked if that had changed and she said no, Teri was going to her house to get the treats and everything ready to give out candy, but she could pick the kids up if I couldn’t. I told her I could it would be no problem.
Then she asked if I wanted to keep the kids tomorrow night. I told her I didn’t think it would be a good idea becasue I didn’t want to get them all hyped up and then tyr to get them to my house late at night after the big to do at her house for halloween. and that I had Mass at 7pm that I was planning on going to that as well. She got mad! Said that I was unreliable (less then a days notice and she expacts me to give her 48 hrs notice), and that she would just have to get a babysitter for the lkids and start paying someone. (Okay so what you asked to play Mommy thats what I did when I worked). She said I never know week to week what is going on (neither do I becasue I have to wait until I am told when I can get the kids, I have been asking as soon as I return them when can I get them again; but she wasn’t even there when I dropped the kids off last time), when you want the kids when you don’t, I gave you a list (yes a list for Septemeber its is October and now November, where are those lists of your work days?). I interrupted her and said I want them everyday all day. She said well that isn’t going to happen. I didn’t say anything (sometimes its best to keep it in your mind rather then say it), but if she wants to know that then she needs to act like the guardian she signed up to be and make the decision on when I can and cannot have them, and stop saying I can have them whenever I want becasue I so obviously can’t!
She then hung up on me and told me not to worry about it. Don’t worry about it I told Anna I would be there and I am going to be there. I waited a few minutes and I called her back and told her answering machine, because she wouldn’t pick up, that I would pick the kids up from school and they could stay with me tonight and tomorrow night and I will drop them at school friday since she told the kids that they would go to the movies on Friday. I had asked for Thrusday and friday night that was the response I got.
So now I am preplexed. do I show up to pick them up this afternoon. I will not be mean I will take the kids over there to trick or treat for a little bit, but not like she had wanted. When I leave they will leave with me, that is if they are staying with me. I just do not know what to do. And I could use some prayers becasue that is the only thing I can think of that works in this situation. She isn’t going to change. And i am trying my best and getting there little by little with the help of God.
Thanks,
Hail Mary…
