Pray for Me

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Mansizedtarget

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I have struggled for some years with an addiction to gambling. I’ve had periods of recovery and a handful of setbacks. When these setbacks occur, I’m usually in a world of pain: new financial problems, usurious loans to get my account in the black, depression that I’ve disappointed myself and others, the struggle to get things back together, suicidal thoughts. But even when things are going well, I find it a struggle to find happiness. Gambling is very bad for me, but a very intense desire. That’s the esence of addiction to me: you want to do this thing that you know is very very bad for you.

I’ve had some superficial successes in life, but I’m lonely, unmotivated, and lacking meaning and purpose. I am not living well all around. I’ve been skipping mass, smoking, induldging in strip clubs, but worst of all gambling, which is my killer addiction. I know I’ve flourished more when I’ve been in a meanigful relationship, but that is missing at the moment. Home, alone, at night, night after night, I tend to induldge in bad habits of one kind or another. Even when I’m not, I feel anxious and a little moody. The devil, in the guise of gambling, always invites me to the excitement of the poker room. I’ll win a few times, and then lose on a grand scale. I shudder to think this pattern will continue to repeat itself in my life. It’s horrible beyond words.

That’s where I am now: a little desperate, depressed, scared, mad at myself, and not knowing what to do or where to turn. I’m planning on going back to Gamblers Anonymous meetings tonight. I came clean with my family who has lived with me through this before. I also reached out to some former friends and sponsers in the 12 Step Program seeking guidance and encouragement. These are all steps in me creating more accountability and not isolating, as I have a habit of doing.

I believe in God and believe he can fix me. I know I need to do my part, but I’d appreciate all of your prayers. I need help with great loneliness, a lack of purpose and meaning, and this dreadful dreadful drift into uncontrolled problem gambling whenever I am too sad or too bored to fight the good fight.
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Hail Mary
full of grace
the lord is with thee
blessed are thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary
mother of God
pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death

Amen
 
God loves you. Remember that you’re never alone, and that Jesus Christ will always be here for you. He is your friend. - I suggest that the next time you feel tempted, head to church - to Adoration in front of the Blessed Eucharist - even if that means before the tabernacle in church.

Also, I suggest you pray the Rosary daily - even if that means a decade. Remember that every woman is of God’s creation, so the poor ladies at strip clubs are daughters of the Lord too, even if they’re not aware of it themselves. Make that an opportunity to pray for them, rather than looking at them lustfully. They are also human beings.

It sounds like you need more structure in your life, and although I am no expert I think you should make a weekly schedule with extra attention paid to the Lord - keep yourself busy, and don’t just sit around and tempt yourself - you can truly do this! 👍

I’ll say a prayer for you.
 
Haily Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women, and
Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of death,
Amen.
 
@Mansizedtarget: I pray that St. Michael protect you and help you fight off the evils that threaten to engulf you… I lift up to God your concerns and pray that He will bless you with inner strength and a deeper faith in Him. May you always walk in the path of righteousness… And I pray that you will always be surrounded by friends and loved ones who can help you get through this episode in your life. God bless you today and always…
 
Mother Mary, I recommend Mansizedtaget to you. He is in danger of losing his soul, please help him to get to confession and to Mass regularly. May he have a very fruitful meeting at GA tonight and stick with his meetings. Help him to hate all sin and to be resolved to avoid all occassions of sin and to be resolved to say No! to all temptations. May he find a holy priest to help him break free from every sinful habit he has. His bad habits will keep him depressed and unhappy, may he break from them with the help of your grace. Help him to truly pray to God and to you, and help him to persevere in prayer. He can not be freed of his depression on his own without you, Jesus and the power of prayer … he needs your help and God’s strength. Help him to carry this cross heroically and to cry out to you and Jesus for the assistance he needs. May you be his hope and confidence, sweetest Mother. Amen.
 
Thank you everyone for your prayers. I did go to meeting tonight and got a lot out of it. I also spoke at length to my parents, who are both very spiritual and good people.

A few things stood out to me from what I heard in the meetings and from my parents:

I should talk to a priest about my loneliness; they too live a life centered on the lord, but without the companionship of a romantic partner. They likely have good advice on how to deal with this issue.

I need to try to be less focused on winning and the ego-drive it entails. It–and the weird tricks gambling plays on one’s mind–have a lot to do with my desire to gamble. Also I need more purposefulness in my life focused on helping others and serving God. When I’ve done this–I did prison ministry for a while and was very active in GA in another city–I’ve lived a happier more meaningful life.

Even in a marriage, one might gamble. Lots of gamblers destroy their families with this addiction. I need to thank God I’ve not done this and he’s given me more time to purify myself before I might ever be married, if that’s his will for me. Also one can be lonely in relationships, particularly if one’s partner is unkind. I’ve experienced this to an extreme degree (an ex-fiancee may have had Borderline Personality Disorder) and know that is even worse than being single.

Thank you again; I appreciate all the advice and perspective.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
 
***Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.

Amen
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
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