Hi Everyone. My name is Jem. I’ve been searching for answers in my life. I’ve never loved someone so much that it physically hurts. He doesn’t feel the same way. I’ve ruminated several times on how the situation could’ve changed. Blamed myself and then blamed him. It’s been so mentally exhausting. I prayed for a year and a half for this man. I truly believe in my heart he is my soul mate. He is gone and moving to California on July. I told him to leave me alone because my heart can’t take it anymore. He put me down and didn’t give me what I deserved. I deserved more than a few hours of his time. I was raised with morals and respect. I am not his fwb that he can just throw away. My dilemma now is, is there hope? Do people change? When does God answer my prayers? Does he even hear me? A year and a half of loving someone who didn’t love me back. The pain and hurt. Why would God do this to me? Throughout this whole situation, I have been closer to God than ever. At the same time, I feel like I’m a hopeless case. Where is he? Where is the help? This man was the love of my life. It didn’t turn out how I imagined. What now?
Hi. Just wanted to let you know that I have been in love so deeply it was physically painful. More than once. Each of those relationships ended very badly. It took me a loooong time, but I realized my problem was that I made false idols out of the men in my life. They were my everything. My all. When the relationships ended, I didn’t think I could go on. Suicidal. Here is what I have learned from experience: if God is the center of your life, you don’t ever have to go through this again. It really is true that if you seek the kingdom of God, all things will be given unto you, even things you didn’t know you needed.
Another thing to consider, which I’m sure you don’t
even want to hear right now, is that God chooses some people for himself. What an honor and a privilege. No distractions. God has used me more in the last 3 years than he did in the 50 before that… because I cooperated instead of chasing things of the world. Oddly, now that I’m NOT interested in a relationship because I’m busy working on the most important one
, I have had several very nice men want to date me. I’m not ready for that, and thinking I may have found the perfect man for me. (My Lord and My God). Who knows? maybe later I’ll be interested but right now I have more peace AND joy in my life than I have ever had.
“Is there hope?” Absolutely… although probably not for what you’re hoping for.
“Do people change?” Rarely. It took me 5 years in Al-Anon (for friends and families of Alcoholics) to finally accept that.
God ALWAYS hears and answers prayers, just not always the answers we want. His view is eternal and He always wants what is best for our souls so that He can spend eternity loving us.
“A year and a half of loving someone who didn’t love me back. The pain and hurt. Why would God do this to me?” HE didn’t. YOU did. Sorry.
Remember too that you can always turn to Jesus. He
does know how you feel. Just think how it must have broken His heart to go through His Passion and Crucifixion while being mocked and rejected by those He did it for. And still is suffering mockery and rejection. He’s right there with ya’.
Hang in. It DOES get better. A lot better.
B.
