H
holyrood
Guest
I’ve posted about these things before. In a nutshell, I have removed myself from a decades long history of alcoholism, narcissistic behavior, and toxicity. Physical assault against me, my mother, and at least one sibling in the past. More recently, communication from my father has involved him calling me vulgar names I won’t repeat here and threatening me. One sibling took the opportunity of my daughter’s wedding, of all times to try to draw my friend into the family drama, to take their side and set me straight. At my daughter’s wedding!
People at church have come back to tell me the things my mother says about me (which are just not true) and I think her belief in these things stems back to dysfunction from decades ago in which I told on the wrong-doer. She’s heavily invested in believing I’m bad so she doesn’t have to face the truth. She literally will not even speak to anyone at church who speaks to me.
They’ve been working on my kids and I guess it’s to my credit that my kids are at least mostly hanging in the balance, but there’s an entire family engaged in this on one side and me, pretty much alone, on the other.
But my kids have an underlying anger at me because they’re being treated like little princes by my family and told I’m crazy and a liar. Tonight, I tried yet again to deal with one child’s disrespect to his teachers. It ended with him telling me how the entire family problem is my fault, how I’ve been so disrespectful to them. I stayed calm, asked him for examples. He couldn’t give me an example, of course.
But the real problem is that I’m constantly being undermined by my family with my own kids. They’re being taught to see me as a problem maker and to believe they don’t have to really respect me…and I’m seeing it in my son’s attitude toward his teacher’s, too. If he doesn’t like them, he feels he doesn’t have to respect them. Exactly what I heard from my dad about me. He doesn’t like me, therefore, no one has to respect me.
I’ve given up on advice. Short of moving the kids across the state from these toxic people, I see no answers left. I’m once again considering it, but honestly, then they’ll just be mad at me for taking them far away from where they’ve lived for so long.
But it becomes a struggle to continue to have faith in God or prayer when this drags on year after year and I’m continually dealing with this.
People at church have come back to tell me the things my mother says about me (which are just not true) and I think her belief in these things stems back to dysfunction from decades ago in which I told on the wrong-doer. She’s heavily invested in believing I’m bad so she doesn’t have to face the truth. She literally will not even speak to anyone at church who speaks to me.
They’ve been working on my kids and I guess it’s to my credit that my kids are at least mostly hanging in the balance, but there’s an entire family engaged in this on one side and me, pretty much alone, on the other.
But my kids have an underlying anger at me because they’re being treated like little princes by my family and told I’m crazy and a liar. Tonight, I tried yet again to deal with one child’s disrespect to his teachers. It ended with him telling me how the entire family problem is my fault, how I’ve been so disrespectful to them. I stayed calm, asked him for examples. He couldn’t give me an example, of course.
But the real problem is that I’m constantly being undermined by my family with my own kids. They’re being taught to see me as a problem maker and to believe they don’t have to really respect me…and I’m seeing it in my son’s attitude toward his teacher’s, too. If he doesn’t like them, he feels he doesn’t have to respect them. Exactly what I heard from my dad about me. He doesn’t like me, therefore, no one has to respect me.
I’ve given up on advice. Short of moving the kids across the state from these toxic people, I see no answers left. I’m once again considering it, but honestly, then they’ll just be mad at me for taking them far away from where they’ve lived for so long.
But it becomes a struggle to continue to have faith in God or prayer when this drags on year after year and I’m continually dealing with this.