Prayers for a difficult home life

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So, what is your point? Just because people can, doesn’t mean they should. 14 year olds might know “more stuff” but many are not well prepared for things yet, and do not have much life experience.

And I did use the word should, not can’t.
 
But, they are sadly mistaken if they think that this old fashioned, one size fits all option is the only possible one. And, if the baby’s mother feels strongly about keepping the baby, her thoughts should be considered, at least. An open adoption may be a compromise everyone can live with?

But, it still sounds a bit like a no-kill abortion, which is impossible.People are going to hurt, to feel, and no one’s feelings are unimportant.
 
I agree with you, Legend, that there is no one-size-fits-all option, and that the mother’s feelings should be taken into consideration.
However I would disagree with calling any plan a “no-kill abortion,” which trivializes the real horrific nature of abortion. Making an adoption plan for a baby is not “making the child dead to the mother.” It could be an open adoption, or the mother could simply know that she has done the best for her child in placing him or her with a loving adoptive couple.
The words we use are important. Adoption is a valid and loving option in many cases, and always better than abortion.
 
Blessings
Father, there is so much pain in these circumstances. A family in crisis. A young lady having a baby but having to surrender her baby for adoption. Holy Spirit Comfort them. Let their daughter, feel Your love. Let her parents love be felt. Bring a holy solution to this situation. Help all family members pray and feel You in these circumstances.
In Christ’s Love

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.

Amen.
 
I don’t disagree with you, and agree that an open adoption is a very good plan, in many cases. In fact, some family members have adopted a baby, and freely allow the mother to visit. They don’t have to, but they know, and like the mother. She was not a teenager;in fact she was married, but the father was not her husband. They have barred at least one family member, Either the father or stepfather, from most visitation, and, in general, have been very happy with the arrangement. The child is handicapped and requires treatments that the mother would have trouble affording. My nephew’s wife had two miscarriages, one of which almost killed her. So, this open-to-the-mother adoption is working out well. I just hope that my great-nephew won’t have to use a feeding tube his whole life. But even if he does, the whole family will always be grateful to the mother for making this possible. So, you see, although I’m all for parent’s rights, I see what a lovely family adoption can produce, first hand. It just sounded like this family was not taking the mother’s wishes into account at all. Now that I see that they are at least allowing their daughter to meet with possible adoptive parents, and may be open to an open adoption, I’m more assured that the mother’s feelings are being taken into account. I’m praying for the best solution for the child, whatever that turns out to be.
 
OP,
I see that I have jumped to some uncharitable conclusions. I pray that your sister be open to Gods will, and that you can repair any hurt feelings.
I’m glad that your sister saw, or will see, Catholic Charities. I pray that they will lead you all
to a decision you can all live with.
 
Last edited:
Hi, I reread my post. I must have been tired. I corrected typos.
Sorry
In Christ’s Love
Tweedlealice
 
Frankly, I haven’t noticed any typos, etc. You shared some lovely sentiments and important prayers. I hope they are helping this family in their difficult situations.Keep up the good work!
 
Thank you so much for all of your prayers! My parents have found an amazing devoted Catholic couple who have been trying to have a child for years to adopt my sister’s baby. They have graciously decided to have my sister move in with them so they can fully experience the pregnancy with her while making sure the baby gets the absolute best care. They live in a neighboring state so we can still visit with her occasionally on weekends if we want.
 
How does your sister feel about this? I pray she is not forced into this situation.
 
I agree with you, and would also ask about the father of this child, but we must remember that the OP is basically a powerless child. She can’t really expect to mediate or otherwise act in this matter.
 
Volunteer at pro-life pregnancy/mom center for years.

Got to tell you, any plan with any hint of coercion will cause life long pain, like the kind you are trying to avoid convincing the mama to place.

It would be nice if she could live somewhere where she isn’t being made to feel like she is carrying another woman’s child, but come to adoption on her own, having considered both options. I don’t see that happening with a potential adoptive family. If she changes her mind after she gives birth, she may feel impossible to say no, or break the family’s heart.

The reality of relinquishing under coercion and lack of support from one’s family is a life long burden.
We are all supposed to be “open to life”. Why is your family only “open to life” if she makes an adoption plan, but not “open” to welcoming this child into their lives and providing support.

If this were my daughter, I would welcome my grandchild and offer my support, and the rest of my family would follow suit. I would support an adoption plan if that is what she REALLY wanted. But I would not make her feel inadequate as a mother. I would encourage involvement of the dad, as appropriate. God’s plan for family is already broken at this point. Adoption isn’t going to magically fix that, even though the mom may decide it is the best for the child.

God bless.
 
Well, I’m glad that some progress is being made! I agree with the other posters on question that need answering (has the father been notified? Is your sister being unduly coerced? Is she really ‘on board’ with the idea?)

But for now, I’m going to address a question that has, for the most part, gone unanswered. How are YOU doing? Has the yelling stopped? It sounds like you, who are innocent in the situation, and seemed to be mainly on your parents’ side of the issue, have been hurt by all this drama!

You should not be penalized for what you did not do. Are your parents talking this over calmly, now? That should let you relax, to some extent.

Your parents, as it seems two of their children took paths that deviated from their standards, must examine their own behavior. Strictness and high expectations are fine, but if not tempered with a generous helping of love, will do them little good. Are either of your parents seeing making your sister give up her baby as a punishment? That is not a very Christian attitude. Your sister’s sin was having sex out of wedlock…not conceiving and bearing a child. She probably didn’t plan to get pregnant, and wanting to keep the baby , while it may not be feasible, is a way of taking responsibility
for what she has done.

I hope your parents and sister have, aside from Catholic Charities, spoken to your priest? A Christian counselor? Ideally, they should be speaking to both.

I kind of went off on a tangent, but these questions do need addressing. I just hope that you are getting some much-needed relaxation, now. And, to those ho are now questioning it, note that the adoption is, in essence to some part, open;the mother knows where they live, and, if they were insisting on a closed adoption, would not be allowing this. And another thing to watch out for, mainly for the prospective adoptive parents (as the mother is living with them, now, or soon will be);be careful just after the baby is born. I know of mothers, married mothers whose pregnancies were planned, whose husbands were totally on board…have had ‘post partum’ depression. after the baby is born. So, to all involved, don’t be too quick in sending her away, taking over all baby care, etc., as some women have hurt themselves, or even committed suicide, at this time. Not all mothers get it, but, please, be very careful.

I know, I’m thinking out loud…Kate, enjoy this time, and get some much needed rest!
 
Blessings
God really fixed this one. Clever and wonderful!
It’s a shame, others prayers aren’t answered as easily. Our pruning is difficult
In Christ’s Love
Tweedlealice
 
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